To say this IS "catcalling"- unwanted sexual harassment on the street.

[Booblessbeauty]

I have cancer, I am bald and I can't wear anything to cover my head, due to bone pain in my skull. I have had both breasts removed, and I have swollen hands and feet. I wear men's slippers, and am hunched over.

I go out to the shops and do my own shopping. I was nervous at first, going out bald, but beyond one or two comments from school girls, there was no problem. I spoke to the girls involved and explained about cancer and chemotherapy, and they were apologetic.

In recent days, I have had aggro from a group of young teen boys in my cul-de-sac. They throw rubbish at me ( nothing damaging) and shout abuse such as "o you are soooo sexy" and " hold me back! I can't resist! I might have to rape her"

I contacted the police online today, as I needed to go shopping but was too intimidated, and felt too vulnerable to go out. I described this as "cat calling". The policeman who rang up said this is not "cat calling", because "cat calling" is when attractive people are shouted at on the street.

I think this is "cat calling" and that "cat calling" or any unwanted sexual harassment has nothing what so ever to do with attraction, and is entirely to do with power and humiliation. I also think the police should know that.

Hello OP. I’m sorry about your medical issues, this is the last thing you need. What are the police actually doing, if anything?

What you’ve described is a public order offence, there was clear intent to cause harassment, alarm and distress, allied with threatening, abusive and insulting words and behaviour. It ticks every box, and was also sexualised to boot.

As to the cat-calling, I’m quite surprised a policeman doesn’t know cat-calling can be derogatory and centred on a female’s perceived lack of attractiveness. What makes it cat-calling is the public and sexualised nature of it.

A rape threat is a rape threat whether the complainant is a bikini model or a ninety year old in a wheelchair.

Presuming a woman won’t actually be in fear of rape after having been threatened with rape because she’s not attractive enough to be raped/‘it can only have been meant as a joke’ speaks to a complete lack of understanding of sexual violence, and is also a dangerous sort of misogyny.

OP, did anyone else witness it? Is there anyone who can go with you the next time you have to pass that place?

This made me so angry to read. Both the harassment and the police response. I’m glad you’ve had some good advice from others.

I also wanted to say well done for talking to the school girls - it shouldn’t be your role to have to explain, but because you addressed their behaviour through educating them, I hope they learnt and will think twice in future of saying anything to another person.

No one knows why they're doing it but I doubt anything would have been said if there hadn't have been an audience.
I understand what rape is. I understand that it it has nothing to do with sexual attraction and everything to do with power. I just happen to believe this wasn't a sexual threat (from lust or power). I think the primary purpose was to performing for peers and they didn't give a shit that people were hurt, humiliated or frightened. That doesn't make it less important or less distressing.

That fucking cop is as misogynist as any cat-calling creep in a white van saying that it only happens to “attractive people”. Please complain. Cat-calling is not about attraction at all as we know, and that dickhead’s comments may have entirely minimised what you were trying to tell him and affected the self-esteem of someone going through a fucking traumatic and vulnerable time in their life. I’m mortified on your behalf! I can’t believe that teenagers aren’t able to know from your appearance what you are going through. Are they that devoid of bloody compassion and empathy these days? What a world…

Presuming a woman won’t actually be in fear of rape after having been threatened with rape because she’s not attractive enough to be raped/‘it can only have been meant as a joke’ speaks to a complete lack of understanding of sexual violence, and is also a dangerous sort of misogyny.

Exactly this @Rinkydinkydoodle perfectly put. Added to which so many of us have in fact been attacked physically and so a trauma response is common to rape threats. Regardless of whether this time it's real.

OMG this is terrible, and how can the police not take this seriously…? Shocked

I’m so sorry you’re having to put up with this on top of everything, OP. The police officer you spoke to is a disgrace, and as for those revolting scrotes… I hope they get what’s coming to them. In your position I’d be reporting them to the police (citing the Equality Act) every day it happens until they do something. I’d also call the school and ask to speak to the Headteacher as a matter of urgency, and ask them to tell you exactly how they intend to address their pupils’ criminal behaviour.

Very best wishes for your recovery 💐

Bloody hell. They are shouting abuse at you, whether you call it catcalling or not.

Did you get the PC's number and name? I'd call back and ask to speak to 'his' inspector and complain. It's bad enough that you are abused by teenagers but for the police to do it, which is basically what they are doing is worse.

Oh and yes film them if you can.

That is shocking. And those boys’ parents should be publicly shamed.

And the police response is utterly utterly appalling.

I know it must be difficult if you are in pain and exhausted but can you walk past those boys pretending they don’t exist? They are scum and don’t deserve your emotion.

Why the fuck is this kind of behaviour still happening? Always groups of boys/men shouting sexual at threats at women. The policeman is not fit to do his job if he thinks this kind of behaviour is acceptable.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Can you phone again and say you are being harassed to the point you are worried about leaving the house? I think you should also consider complaining about the police officer who didn’t take you seriously because he didn’t deem you attractive enough to be a victim of sexual harassment.

Its not your place to say OP wasn't sexually threatened. No one can validate anyone's feelings and fears. She clearly felt threatened.

What the hell is wrong with the police in this country. I’d be raising a complaint about them as well.

Which is why I've chosen the words 'l don't think...'
I've also said 'l wouldn't class it as...l'm guessing, and l bet.
I've also acknowledged that she likely felt fear, harm or distress ie threatened.

Ultimately it's the Police who make the initial judgment as to what type and level of threat was made. I've agree with their categorisation (which was what OP asked).

I also wouldn't call it cat calling as I think it sounds a lot more serious than that.

But, if I were taking a report from someone who was upset and intimidated over a bunch of men making threatening comments, I would gently say, actually that is harassment (for example) rather than go to great lengths to explain why you are wrong.

Former police officer. Cat calling isn't defined in any legislation so you'll get a range of opinions. All of which will be spectacularly missing the point. This is undoubtedly street-based sexual harassment which IS illegal and should be dealt with. If that had been one of my officers I'd have been having a stern word. Realistically, if the boys are younger teens they're likely to be let off with words of advice, but it's important that the message is sent that this IS wrong and it IS a police matter.

So sorry to hear you're going through this awful time and having to cope with behaviour like this on top.

This is awful. I'm so sorry for all you've been through.

They need a serious visit from the police. It is the worst type of sexual harassment, designed to make you feel scared and unattractive. How dare they mention rape?

Incensed for you.

MrsTerryPratchett · Today 00:14
The policeman who rang up said this is not "cat calling", because "cat calling" is when attractive people are shouted at on the street.

Honestly, I'd make a formal complaint. Because sexual harassment is nothing to do with attraction. It's asserting power. In exactly the same way as rape is not sex, it's power/violence/dominance.

The officer needs some training and very quickly.

I second this. You could also report the cat calling as a disability hate incident, it might buck their ideas up a bit.

You can get advice and support from Disability Rights UK;
https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/how-we-can-help/advice-and-information/disability-hate-crime

I can't imagine what the policeman was thinking, ignorantly policing your terminology rather than getting on with policing those foul yobs.

@Booblessbeauty if you are in Kent or thereabouts, I would be happy to accompany you and hand the little shits their arses. So sorry that you have had to deal with this on top of the cancer.

Thank you. I tried to go out to the shops this morning, but the boys were still there, a bit further up the street, and started shouting and throwing things at me again and I came home. Yes I do feel very threatened, if they grab my arm, they could damage the PICC line, or if they touch me in the abdomen or chest, they could hit a fresh surgical scar.

I called the police, and spoke to someone very much more sympathetic, and a little while later the police came down the road to look for them. They boys have gone now, but I have been told to call 999 if they come back and harass me again.

So wish me luck, I am going to try and get to the shops at the end of the road.

OP as soon as you see them call the police straight away. Good luck

My heart goes out to you, OP.

I hope your trip to the shops is uneventful.

This is one of the nastiest and most shocking things I've read on here.
OP I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I'm glad you've spoken to a different police officer, who is taking it seriously.
Please do call 999 if it happens again. Those horrible boys need to be stopped.

Thank you all. I have not gone yet, I am getting ready and getting my courage up.

Done it! Home with my shopping, and no issues, and most important, I have had my daily exercise and interacted with a few other human beings in the shop!

Thank you.