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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be terrified of having surgery?

84 replies

Daisythecat15 · 07/05/2023 21:05

I'm having my first surgery in 8 days and I'm absolutely terrified.

I can't stop thinking that I won't wake up from the anaesthetic. Is that stupid? I know the chances of it happening are tiny (I got given a leaflet and it said it's a 5 in 1 million chance) but I just can't shake the fear!! I keep feeling like I'm getting closer and closer to the last day of my life.

How do I get over this? Is it normal to feel this way? For context I'm having major abdominal surgery, so I'm also very nervous about pain etc but my main fear is being put under.

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 07/05/2023 21:13

This was me, I was completely terrified of GA, to the extend that when I broken my hand and needed screws putting in I convinced them to let me do it awake with a nerve block.

Then a couple of years ago gallstones got me and the only option was GA.

It was great!

Honestly a brilliant experience, I went into the surgical theatre, they did some questions to make sure I was who they thought I was and they weren't taking out the wrong body part, then they told me to think of a happy thought and count back from 10. I think I got as far as 7, then a few seconds later I woke up and it was all done. It wasn't like going to sleep, there was no awareness of time passing or dreams it was just done.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 07/05/2023 21:15

Perfectly understandable, OP.
I was beyond petrified of GA.
They may offer you a pre-med, Xanax, etc, beforehand, which will help deal with your anxiety. Ask your anaesthetist about this.
Then, think beyond the surgery and try to focus on how much your life will improve with this surgery.

DustyLee123 · 07/05/2023 21:18

I was the same, I put off an op until my youngest was 2 as I felt DH would cope better if he was at play school.
It was fine in the end, and the relief when it was over was amazing.

TheOriginalEmu · 07/05/2023 21:20

Fear of the unknown is very understandable. In my experience staff are very understanding and will help you through your worries.
Im due to have major surgery to remove a sarcoma in my hip soon and I’m not concerned about the GA as I’ve had lots before but I am concerned about after as it’s all new to me.
You do need to try and not catastrophise and make yourself ill worrying. I find knowledge about what’s going to happen helps me keep things in perspective ❤️

Tinkerbyebye · 07/05/2023 21:21

I was the same, however there was nothing to it. They take you down to theatre give you the stuff, then nothing until they wake you up. I have now been under 3 times with no issues

Floralsquirrel · 07/05/2023 21:23

Let them know you feel nervous, it isn't at all unusual to be apprehensive.

AllOfThemWitches · 07/05/2023 21:26

I had GA last week and freaked out at the last minute, asking if I was definitely going to wake up. I was assured I would and here I am, alive to tell the tale. You'll be OK.

PriOn1 · 07/05/2023 21:27

I rather like being anaesthetised. I was nervous the first time, but always wake up feeling as if I’ve just had the most wonderful dream (even though I never remember any actual dream).

I hope that you can speak to someone about it and they can reassure you about what will happen. Best of luck with your surgery.

Moraxella · 07/05/2023 21:29

Whilst there is always a chance of things happening (you have the risks booklet), and depending on how major the op (sometimes we take people to intensive care and keep them under anaesthetic for a day or two) this is our day job, we are with you the whole time you’re asleep watching the monitors etc.

rileynexttime · 07/05/2023 21:32

I was so scared of my first surgery that in the days leading up to it I felt as though I was permanently falling off a cliff .
The fear must have been obvious on the day because the nurse in the room before the theatre gave me a hug .
It was fine ,really quite enjoyable like someone snapping their fingers and it's all done .
The thing to worry about I'm afraid is constipation from the pain killers .

Harebrain · 07/05/2023 21:38

I felt like that but the lovely anaesthetist spent 15 minutes chatting to me on the day and completely put me at ease. It was the shortest (and best) sleep I’ve ever had.

Weatherwax13 · 07/05/2023 21:38

It's completely understandable OP. I was the same. I was 45 when I had to have surgery for the first time and I was sick with nerves. I could've cried when they wheeled me into theatre.
I opened my eyes and thought oh god, please hurry up and put me to sleep - but it had already happened and I was actually waking up post op! I literally thought I'd just blinked.
I've had to have GA quite a few times now and I don't worry about it in the least since that first time.
Hope that brings you some comfort as I still remember the fear and it turned out absolutely fine.

confuzzzzzled · 07/05/2023 21:38

i was petrified! I managed to walk myself down to theatre and the moment I was in the prep room I burst out crying and hyperventilating screaming ‘I can’t do it!’. The anaesthetist was amazing though, and as soon as they put the relaxant in my cannula all my fears went away, I was even giggling as I drifted off to sleep. Woke up what felt like 5 minutes later (it was actually 3 hours!) dosed up on some lovely morphine, feeling warm and fuzzy inside!

I like to overthink these things and thought I’d die on the table/wake up mid surgery but it was honestly fine. It was actually beyond fine! I felt like I’d had a lovely sleep.

Original poster
Daisythecat15 · 07/05/2023 21:39

rileynexttime · 07/05/2023 21:32

I was so scared of my first surgery that in the days leading up to it I felt as though I was permanently falling off a cliff .
The fear must have been obvious on the day because the nurse in the room before the theatre gave me a hug .
It was fine ,really quite enjoyable like someone snapping their fingers and it's all done .
The thing to worry about I'm afraid is constipation from the pain killers .

Yes this is how I feel! I'm sleeping really badly, I keep crying when I think about it. I'm sure I'll be an absolute state once I'm at the hospital.

Oh yes, I've heard about constipation being an issue. I have IBS already so doesn't bode well for me 🫤

OP posts:
SleepingisanArt · 07/05/2023 21:40

I have had 2 GAs and was petrified I wouldn't wake up from the first. The anaesthetist gave me a sedative and quietly told me that there was no way he'd let me die on the table as 'the paperwork is a nightmare '. That made me laugh! I remembered that for the next time.

They'll look after you so don't worry.

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 07/05/2023 21:40

Like PP, I found it to be a great experience. It really does feel like seconds before you wake up and you can’t remember a thing - no dreams or anything. I hope all goes well - recovery from an abdominal surgery is tough and you will need a lot of help.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 07/05/2023 21:41

rileynexttime · 07/05/2023 21:32

I was so scared of my first surgery that in the days leading up to it I felt as though I was permanently falling off a cliff .
The fear must have been obvious on the day because the nurse in the room before the theatre gave me a hug .
It was fine ,really quite enjoyable like someone snapping their fingers and it's all done .
The thing to worry about I'm afraid is constipation from the pain killers .

Yes, all the Yes's!

Take prunes/dates/dried fruit, fruit juice etc in with you. If they offer you laxatives/stool softeners take them.

Codeine, oramorph and crappy food means that your digestion basically stops. When I had my gallbladder out I didn't 'go' for the better part of a week.

Pashazade · 07/05/2023 21:42

My surgery happened so fast I didn't have time to think, appendicitis in a foreign country, so the anaesthetist was doing their best to be reassuring whilst speaking very little english! I didn't enjoy the waking up sensation I felt really discombobulated. My friend totally loves it (has had GA a few times). I appreciate that waiting for an op must drive up the anxiety but complications are incredibly rare and the anaesthetists are very good at their jobs. I'm sure all will be well.

AllOfThemWitches · 07/05/2023 21:47

rileynexttime · 07/05/2023 21:32

I was so scared of my first surgery that in the days leading up to it I felt as though I was permanently falling off a cliff .
The fear must have been obvious on the day because the nurse in the room before the theatre gave me a hug .
It was fine ,really quite enjoyable like someone snapping their fingers and it's all done .
The thing to worry about I'm afraid is constipation from the pain killers .

Omg this makes so much sense. I'd forgotten I consented to painkillers up the butt while asleep.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/05/2023 21:50

I've have GA 15 times. You will be absolutely fine, I promise. The doctors are brilliant and know exactly what they are doing. You'll be asleep and then awake before you know it.

SparklyLeprechaun · 07/05/2023 21:53

You'll be absolutely fine. There's only one perk of having surgery, and that's the GA. It's great.

TheInterceptor · 07/05/2023 21:54

I was chatting away to the anaesthetist and her assistant about how great home education is then I woke up back on the ward. Piece of cake.

Crumpleton · 07/05/2023 21:55

It's understandable that you'll be nervous, but you really don't need to worry. You'll have a team of people looking after you from when you first arrive until you leave.

I've had more surgeries than I'd want, the anaesthetists have all been lovely and chatty and put you at your ease.

Make sure you follow recovery instructions and look after yourself, you don't want any knock backs from doing to much to soon.

For me personally I have no worries about being 'knocked out' it's the best sleep I've ever had.

Kyse · 07/05/2023 21:56

You're the most monitored you will be in your life, it's probably the safest place!

I had a compete wobble, told them I was leaving. They persuaded me to have something to calm me down (midazolam) and then I was fine
Went to sleep, woke up, had loads of food. I can't sleep after anaesthetic so am usually awake for 36hrs or so which is normal for me. Also wake up quickly and usually need extra anaesthetic as I'm a redhead!

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/05/2023 21:58

Oh goodness I hear you! I had breast cancer surgery in March 2020 and only had a couple of days to prepare because of the pandemic. I was out of my mind with fear. It didn't help that I was in at 7 am but didn't go down to theatre until 5 pm. I remember telling the anaesthetist how scared I was and then I woke up 2.5 hours later. Don't remember even being put out. Felt like I'd had the best sleep of my life. The tea and custard creams I had immediately after were the best things ever! You'll be absolutely fine. Tell them how you're feeling and hopefully they will reassure you. Good luck!