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AIBU?

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Original poster

13yo DS being mistaken as 7yo DS twin

93 replies

Confusedmuch1 · 07/05/2023 00:07

My oldest DS is still mistaken for an 8yo. Youngest DS is about to turn 8 and people assume they're twins.
Ds2 is normal height/size for their age. Ds1 is slightly taller but similar build. No signs of puberty starting at all.
Should I be worried?

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 07/05/2023 00:45

Has he always been small?

heartbroken40 · 07/05/2023 00:48

Go to paediatrician and ask for referral to endocrinologist. Look up growth hormone deficiency

purpleme12 · 07/05/2023 00:50

You must know how small he is in relation to his age?
It can't have just come out of the blue?
How short is he for his age?

purpleme12 · 07/05/2023 00:52

I ask this because I think it's possibly more relevant than if random people mistake brothers for the same age

wildfirewonder · 07/05/2023 00:55

Yes, if he's very small and wasn't when younger it wants checking. Where is he on the line in the red book? How tall are you and DP?

A check from the GP won't hurt if concerned.

Look up puberty on NHS website, it tells you when to seek medical advice.

You have two issues, height/growth and puberty. Review each and see a GP if either or both are a concern.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 07/05/2023 02:02

What's his height and weight? Yes it's worrying

BOYBANDLOVER · 07/05/2023 03:41

how big is he though? you must see hes small and hasnt grown for years.

for reference my 12y old(13 in august)is 5ft 9 and 11st 8,size 9 shoe(he still in y7)

hes half way through puberty already.

bad skin, smells, growth in private area/armpits etc. voice had been squeaky for a few months so we are on that stage
he started at 11 which did take me back a bit as i knew he was big but didnt expect puberty so early as his older brother started at 13

he was a giant born though 29 inches and 11lb10oz

TakeMyStrongHand · 07/05/2023 03:54

See a GP to be safe. 13 is a bit late for no signs. However, I remember loads of boys starting late at high school.

What I don't get - is he the size of a 7 year old?

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 07/05/2023 04:41

My youngest son was always small for his age. When he was around 13 his doctor sent him to an Endocronologist. They did a "bone age" scan on him (an xray of his wrist). They determined that he was a few years behind in bone growth. So basically just a "late bloomer". She said he would never be as tall as his older brothers (who are average height) but that he would fall within a "normal" range, although at the lower end of it. He eventually got his growth spurt later then his peers by a few years. He is now 19 and while not tall, the doctor was right in her prediction that he would end up at a "normal" height. Looking back at pictures of him when he was younger he always looks so much younger then the other kids around him.

boefgark · 07/05/2023 16:24

Go to a GP, just to be sure everything is ok

KateyCuckoo · 07/05/2023 16:25

Yes I'd be concerned but surely you noticed it before a stranger mistook him for an 8 Yr old?

purser25 · 07/05/2023 17:03

My brother was a little boy until he was about 18 he then grew and is about 5.10

EasterBreak · 07/05/2023 17:07

Mine was coming up to 6 foot at 13, can't imagine him being mistaken for an 8 year old. You would know how tall he is compared to his friends surely.

TomeTome · 07/05/2023 17:10

My sister is nearly three years older than me and was about a cm taker all through our childhood till about 15 when I overtook her. I’m a couple of inches taller now.

Minfilia · 07/05/2023 17:37

My twins probably could have passed for old looking 8 year olds at 13. They were in 8/9 clothes! They didn’t hit puberty until 14 but they’re both strapping, tall, muscular 17YO now!

My DD hit puberty early (periods from age 10) but she is 5’2” and looks very young for her age. When travelling abroad (alone) she was asked if she was over 12 (to use the e gates)…

DS20 OTOH has been 6’2” since 13, hit puberty at 12 and has had a full on Jesus beard since age 15!

Kids are all different (even with similar genetics), it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong!

Minfilia · 07/05/2023 17:38

Minfilia · 07/05/2023 17:37

My twins probably could have passed for old looking 8 year olds at 13. They were in 8/9 clothes! They didn’t hit puberty until 14 but they’re both strapping, tall, muscular 17YO now!

My DD hit puberty early (periods from age 10) but she is 5’2” and looks very young for her age. When travelling abroad (alone) she was asked if she was over 12 (to use the e gates)…

DS20 OTOH has been 6’2” since 13, hit puberty at 12 and has had a full on Jesus beard since age 15!

Kids are all different (even with similar genetics), it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong!

Should add my DD was 17 when she was asked if she was over 12…

x2boys · 07/05/2023 17:58

There is a massive variation at this age ,my16 yr old had early signs of puberty from 9or 10,,he looks like an adult man now with a beard and hairy chest ,but some kids start puberty much later my nearly 13 is disabled and has a rare chromosome disorder and isn't showing any signs and he's very small.for is age but,the school.nurses are not overly concerned yet .

CoffeeYes · 07/05/2023 22:23

TomeTome · 07/05/2023 17:10

My sister is nearly three years older than me and was about a cm taker all through our childhood till about 15 when I overtook her. I’m a couple of inches taller now.

It’s not about height, it’s about other signs of puberty. I think girls tend to stop growing in height within a couple of years of starting their period - or at least that was the case for me and I’m short. My taller school friends started their period later than me.

OP, did you or your son’s dad start puberty late? Also, if your older son is the same build as your 7 year old then he’s probably very underweight for his age. Not eating enough can delay puberty.

TomeTome · 07/05/2023 23:59

I think you’re right it’s not all about height but my point really was that in the same family you can have wildly different maturation and that in the end we all got there. What percentiles are they both on?

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 08/05/2023 00:09

If a year 8 (or poss year 9) is being mistaken for an average sized year 3, I would think there is a problem.
My DD and DS were often taken for twins, but they are only 2 5 years apart and DD is the older one and DS always tall, so they were the same height for a while.

MsCactus · 08/05/2023 00:26

How tall is he? And what does he weigh?

My brother was very small, short and skinny, growing up - the smallest in his year. He had a growth spurt at about age 17 and while not tall, he's now 5ft 10 which is pretty average for a man. He was just a late bloomer, but obviously if your 13 year old is very very small it might be a concern and something to ask GP about

SouperWoman · 08/05/2023 00:31

It’s probably nothing tbh. People can say stupid things. My sister is 6 years older than me and we were regularly mistaken as twins right up until she left home at 18. As adults she is average height for a woman and I’m 4 inches taller.

but as ppps have said; if you’re worried take your son to a gp

FatGirlSwim · 08/05/2023 00:57

There’s not a lot of point on people replying to say ‘my 13 year old is eight feet tall with a beard like Father Christmas’… how tall is your son, op? Where is he on the centile chats for his age, height and weight?

There’s a massive variation in boys this age. And I mean massive. Some look like men, others like little boys. Starting puberty later than 13 isn’t unusual for boys, but I’d expect some kind of sign, needing deodorant, greasier, etc.

if you’re worried about his growth, see the GP?

AtlasSix · 08/05/2023 01:13

Has he always been small for his age? If not then I’d be concerned.

In terms of puberty starting, I’m not sure how late it has to be to count as concerning from a medical point of view, but that’s something I’d look into. There’s probably advice about that on the NHS website.

Original poster
Confusedmuch1 · 08/05/2023 01:55

He's 4'0“ and 4.5stone. He's always been small, but all my kids have.

OP posts: