To feel I’m fucked approaching 50?

[Alsogoingtogetslated]

Am I alone in how I’m feeling?
I literally don’t recognise myself anymore, increasingly people literally comment that they don’t recognise me. I’m 48 and in the last year I have no idea what has happened to me. My face seems to have changed beyond all recognition, it’s almost a different shape. I’ve gained a bit of weight, a lot of wrinkles. I’m dull. My hair is lank. I tried botox, it didn’t help, it just seemed to push the wrinkles down my cheeks.
Is this normal for my age? I’m bleeding constantly, suspect I’m perimenopausal. I look back at pictures just a year ago and I look like a different person- what’s going on and has anyone fixed similar?
I’m staying in alone tonight as I could face trying to find clothes that look nice or socialising with women who do not seem to be experiencing this alien invasion of their bodies so am missing the party I’m invited to.
AIBU to think this is just part of approaching 50 and my looks and va va voom is over?

50s is the best decade yet! So much personal freedom, no need to worry about what anybody thinks, just be your own self totally

Maybe book GP appointment to discuss this. Bleeding constantly isn't normal - although changes in your menstrual pattern are (mine became much more frequent and heavier for a while before they spaced out and finally stopped).

Oh - and looking after your skin and hair, and keeping on top of your weight is just as possible in your 50s as any other decade 😘

Hrt and a great haircut! Partially joking but sorting my hormones out was such a relief

It's that thing where you age a decade in a week. I don't know why but it just happens that way!

I’m 47 and feel like my face is suddenly ageing every day and looking jowly. Not wrinkles but no more smoothness to my skin. I’m also experiencing mood swings and just feel down about things a lot.

i don’t feel excited about turning 50 - the kids will only be 12 and 14, and my parents late 80s if they make it that far.

no magic solutions op but sure many women feel like this. I find being busy and not dwelling on things is best for my state of mind - and keep going out even if you’re not 100% happy with your looks!

I’m chucking money at it- expensive skin cream, botox, gym but it’s not helping. I look old, different all of a sudden.
Am definitely considering HRT, really do need a haircut and a GP apt about the constant bleeding/spotting.

Not at all helpful but wait till 70 bloody looms...

That’s it exactly! I feel like it’s not happening to any of my friends.

Of course you're peri-menopausal, probably have been for several years. I highly recommend HRT.

Meanwhile, try smiling at yourself every single time you look in a mirror. You'll look a lot better smiling.

You won’t be peri meni, you’re going through the menopause! Time for HRT

You need to speak with the GP re HRT, why haven't you yet ??

Will try the smiling thing- great tip. I don’t feel depressed but I’m crying. A lot.

Constantly bleeding won’t be doing you any good, you could be anemic. I’m also 48 and I’m not experiencing this, it needs looking into.

of course, it might start next week…the joys of peri. 😂

Smiling doesn't fix this! I hear you - I'm exhausted, feel like I'm treading water and suddenly look old. Am 49!
HRT helped a lot with anxiety and palpitations and other niggly perimenopausal symptoms but it hasn't fixed everything.
I think the solution is better diet, more exercise, if only I could find the motivation!

I feel your pain. I saw a photo today taken of me five years ago and I look twenty years older now. What the heck has happened in these five years that I should look so much older! (Well I know really and it’s all stress related) but still, it’s so disheartening!

I hear you too. I was bloody gorgeous til about 49 and 3 years later, I've changed beyond all recognition. I look like a different person. Other people look like themselves but older. I look like a totally different person. The bloom of youth has well and truly gone. You just have to do your best, look after your health and try to start accepting the changes cos it ain't gonna get any better 🙈

What she said!

Life has just got better and better. I look at photos of myself as a 26 year old bride and as a 51 year old bride. I way prefer the 51 year old- confident, glowing, didn’t give a fuck. 10 years on, life is great. DCs independent, financially comfortable, love my work.

And my eyesight is now so bad I can’t see the wrinkles at all - from any distance!

@OllyBJolly thank you for your post, I feel like shite and it gave me a little spark of hope

Can you explain this comment?

Hi op, I turned 50 two weeks ago and feel fabulous. You can too! Things I’ve done in the last couple of months- had my eye brows micro bladed, had a couple of nano extensions put in my hair (my hair is a bit longer now and much thicker). I’ve lost just under two stones since Jan (I won’t say how as I’ll get slated), I use L’Oréal retinol eye creams and moisturiser (really smooth my skin and not expensive), bought some really cool shoes, bags & sunglasses.
Someone I work didn’t believe me when I said I had a big birthday- they thought I was turning 40 not 50!
All these things have helped give me confidence- learn to love yourself with a bit of tweaking! good luck 🤞

For how long have you been bleeding? You do need to get that looked into to find the source. If it's perimenopause (likely) then you don't need to put up with it.
A nice hair cut will make you feel so much better than botox and expensive creams IMO.
I think it's unusual that none of your friends of similar age are experiencing similar to you, it's something that usually comes up among my friends (I'm 52).
There's a massive range from some who have had menopause, lots on HRT and managing OK, others with lots of odd and uncomfortable things going on, others going through peri and managing OK. It's really useful to talk with peers.

Feeling fed up or depressed is big cause of looking old and tired.

I felt like this 6 months ago. HRT has brought me back. My face in the mirror still shocks me at times but I scrub up well despite being a size 16/18. Went out last weekend and got chatted up loads (not looking for it but made me realise the old me is back). I’m 50 next year but I’ve still got some life in me.