To feel I’m fucked approaching 50?

[Alsogoingtogetslated]

Am I alone in how I’m feeling?
I literally don’t recognise myself anymore, increasingly people literally comment that they don’t recognise me. I’m 48 and in the last year I have no idea what has happened to me. My face seems to have changed beyond all recognition, it’s almost a different shape. I’ve gained a bit of weight, a lot of wrinkles. I’m dull. My hair is lank. I tried botox, it didn’t help, it just seemed to push the wrinkles down my cheeks.
Is this normal for my age? I’m bleeding constantly, suspect I’m perimenopausal. I look back at pictures just a year ago and I look like a different person- what’s going on and has anyone fixed similar?
I’m staying in alone tonight as I could face trying to find clothes that look nice or socialising with women who do not seem to be experiencing this alien invasion of their bodies so am missing the party I’m invited to.
AIBU to think this is just part of approaching 50 and my looks and va va voom is over?

Do stick with it all. There is an exit, it is the other side of this 'Black Dog' that plagues you so.
The Black Dog was Winston Churchills way of explaining the depression he had. But he operated very well in WW2.
I suffered like you, worked through it and now have a social life and a close friend. We are approaching 70 as our next milestone.

It ain't easy, but it is doable.

I'm 49 and I look so different from 2 years ago but for the better.
Developed food intolerances so changed my diet for the better.
Periods have suddenly stop and less mood swings.
50 is the new 40 🤣

Did you actually read the OP?

I felt like this as I hit 40 and moaned and moaned about how dramatically I had aged - eventually discovered I had an undiagnosed automimmune condition.

Menopause has a lot to answer for. It is not quite a cliff edge but as close to it as you can get. I look different, I feel. Proper middle-aged. Not kidding myself anymore.

I think you need some blood tests, with constant bleeding you may well be deficient in something. We are all aging but it’s unusual to look unrecognisable within a couple of years, hopefully you can get some answers and a remedy to stop the bleeding.

On the bright side, once you are over to the other side, it is very liberating. You don't give much of a sh_t anymore and anything you do to your appearance is a bonus.

@UnsureSchool32 How do you know she’s fully menopausal, isn’t that when periods have stopped for a year, won’t she be in peri?

Op, I feel the same, I’m 45 with an almost 5 year old and was ok until around autumn, my face just changed, bloated and bags under my eyes, it’s awful. I’ve started really looking after my skin and using good moisturisers and Tretinoin, it’s not really that I have wrinkles though, I just look different, it’s hard to explain, the puffiness under the eyes and above is horrendous

You realise that the menopause bit happens when periods have stopped for an entire calendar year, never to return.

OP is bleeding still, she's perimenopausal.

@Alsogoingtogetslated sorry you're feeling so terrible, you're crying a lot and feeling depressed because your hormones are declining. Go see the GP sooner, not later, ditto getting to a gym, losing weight etc as the longer you leave it, the harder it will be.

It does get better. Some people sail through the menopause and others like me feel suddenly ancient and start to look it. Now at 60 I'm feeling pretty good. Exercise, little alcohol, and a good healthy diet works for me, plus a good skincare routine.

I feel 52 and fabulous!! Recommend good hairstylist, gym, swimming, yoga, no alcohol and supplements , oh and expensive face creams!
Plenty of sex also helps,,

fwiw, I aged 3 years in 3 months when I was 49.
It wasnt too bad I suppose as I was youngish looking up until that point.
Thankfully it hasnt happened again[i am more than a decade older now].

Until this thread, I hadnt realised that yes, I had the menpause between 49 and 52. So there probably was a connection.

Start with the potential health problems and work your way out- that constant bleeding needs checking, as do your iron levels, vit levels and so on. I have quite a few friends who just assumed that feeling shit was the peri/meno when there was something more going on. Ask for your blood test results yourself to see iron results. Once basic checks done, I'd discuss HRT, it doesn't suit me but many women find it transformative.

Once you've checked yourself out physically, then you can think what you want to do about the rest of it.

I'm 50 very soon and am finding it liberating. I feel weirdly like I don't give a shit what people think and am much more willing to put myself first than I ever used to be.
Plus I've always been a bit lazy but now "l'm almost 50!!" Is an excellent excuse.

My sure if it makes a difference but I've always been quite plain so don't have the same "losing my looks" fears that prettier women may have. So that's a bonus.

50 here and I'm with you on the 'sudden ageing' thing. I've noticed it under and around my eyes in particular. No idea where I am re the peri / menopause as I've got a mirena coil, so no periods. I think the advice from others to discuss HRT and get your bloods checked sounds wise. I definitely look forward to caring less what others think!

I'm 50 very soon and am finding it liberating. I feel weirdly like I don't give a shit what people think and am much more willing to put myself first than I ever used to be.

@DrHousecuredme Hee, hee, that’s great. At 48, I don’t give a shit what other people think either and it’s wonderful!

Do you mind sharing a bit more about this? I'm 42, ferritin has been low for three years, as have my neutrophils. My GP seems to think it's just one of those things. I put on a stone in about five weeks last year - can't shift it. I'm exhausted, skin looks dull and dry etc. There are lots of autoimmune conditions on my late mother's side of the family so I have been wondering about this.

Yes sorry for being vague! In my case it was a very rare autoimmune condition - Myasthenia Gravis. But there are a lot of other (more common) conditions and I definitely think a lot of people probably struggle on undiagnosed.

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you got to the bottom of it and hopefully it wasn't a battle to get answers. I think you're right - a lot of conditions are probably undiagnosed and brushed off as being 'something that happens in your 40s/50s.'

I agree with you. Turned 50 and had my first frozen shoulder. That aged me due to pain and lack of movement. Surgery fixed it and now my other shoulder is starting to freeze. Then there's the menopause - my skin is so dry, my periods had stopped but with hrt they came back twice a month. This has now changed but I feel constantly bloated. My shape has changed - due to lack of movement with my arms my top half has got bigger. My weight hasn't increased that much but my middle seems to be expanding. I need to have this freeing feeling and not giving a shit attitude but just feel totally down about it.

It only took a mere 5 years of pestering GPs and being made to feel like a timewaster before I was diagnosed .

(I hope you get answers faster)

When I went through the heavy bleeding perimenopausal stage, my GP prescribed tranexamic acid, which was brilliant and completely did the trick for me. Sympathies OP - it's miserable.