Sick to death of people having to comment on me

[Aaarrrrghhh]

'She's shy isn't she'

I am in my early 30s and work in a care home in a senior position.
Today I've made endless phone calls, welcomed numerous visitors, spoken to people from external agencies and so on. I have been told I'm doing a good job and no concerns have been raised.

We had a lady who fell very unwell and her daughter was quite upset, so I consoled her.

On the way out this daughter was speaking to a colleague of mine. She was asking him if he could call x agency in regards to her mother and then I heard her whisper to him 'I don't think I should ask that lady to do it, she's a bit shy isn't she.'

I'm the one who literally called her to inform her her mother was unwell.

I couldn't be bothered conversing with her after that.

I hate how only one type of personality is desired, and that's outgoing. I am quieter but I don't think that should matter. I think I speak clearly and have confidence in what I'm saying.

I am a little shy sometimes but as I say I communicate a lot in my job which does help. I just hate how it's always commented on by people negatively, it honestly makes me feel so ashamed.

You would never say 'Oh don't ask her/I don't like her/ anything negative because she's outgoing/loud/chatty.'
I know I'm just ranting on but I've had this my entire life and it's driven me to the point of depression.
That's why I'm going for a WFH job. It makes me not want to leave the house. I'm probably being dramatic but what am I supposed to do. I've actually come to despise the word shy.

You know that you are capable and confident, OP, but it’s not unreasonable that people you don’t know well might view your quietness as a lack of confidence. This must be frustrating, but we often have to make judgments about people based on what we know/have seen in the moment and based on our expectations of how people behave. You don’t have to be an extrovert to make others believe in your ability, but perhaps you will have to behave in a more extroverted/confident manner to convince them of how capable you are.

I was wondering that

Presume OP means getting a different job
OP I'm sure you'd be a loss to them but I know how you feel.

Yeah sorry I've been offered a civil service role which is mostly WFH.
Thanks for all your comments. If I'm fortunate enough to make it to old age I'll probably still be getting the same comments then.
There's nothing wrong with being quieter than others. I have some residents who like staying in their own rooms, keeping themselves to themselves and other residents who will talk and talk to anyone who listens and constantly with other residents.
I don't find one better or weaker than the other just a difference in personalities.

I've had this before but in a social setting and it drives me mad.

I've spent whole evenings talking to someone, asking them questions, laughing at their jokes for them to turn around and comment on how shy and quiet I am? To be honest it just shuts me down - what do they want me to reply to that? They are correct that I'm not a 'loud' person but I think it's so rude and short sighted of them.

Exactly what exactly are people hoping or expecting us to do? It's because they view being quieter as some sort of disease that needs instantly treating.

I get it. It's really frustrating.