To start going to church even though I'm not religious?

[happyclam]

A bit of background.. I've reached a 'settling down' period of my life. I live in a smallish town, lots of new build estates etc. And recently I've really started to feel lacking a community / network? I don't have a big family and while I have friends (who mainly live in a different part of the country) and workmates, I just feel I'm missing out on a local network / community..

I'm not at all religious - but I've started to feel like I'd love to be part of local church or parish community. Went to a Christmas service and loved the whole feeling of it. Is that absolutely ridiculous idea? Is it disrespectful to 'proper' Christians? Or how else do others get a sense of community? Part of me would want to join the WI but everyone is about 80...

All thoughts welcome!

All churches are different , so you'll only know if your local one is the friendly type, by going. They often do coffee after the service or they may have social groups through the week and you needn't go to the sunday service, if you'd prefer not.

Another option is for you to start something yourself. Film club, book club, 40-60 social group, local walking group, whatever group you fancy - post inaugural meet on your local facebook page, leaflet your neighbours.

You could just like the ritual.

What would you like about the ritual of communion, if you had no faith?

"I really like it when a stranger who believes this is an important holy and sacred sacred act feeds me - who doesn't even believe in God - a wafer biscuit."

My church says it’s 70% hospitality, 30% spirituality. All welcome. We have a Jewish chap who comes and sits in his kippa and tzitzits (apologies for my poor spelling, I’m not an expert on Judaism). We have many agnostics and probably some atheists.

I go as I like the music, the people, the routine, the events, parties, christenings, family, philosophy, celebration. I just sort of tune out at the biblical bits, relax and think of other things. I love that I now know so many people in my local area. I don’t feel any worries about ‘being a true believer’ - what does that even mean?!

I would say find the right church. Some expect a literal belief in the bible, others, like mine, are much more relaxed and compatible with those who believe in a vague concept of god/faith, but that much of religion is man-made.

it’s been brilliant for my kids, with meeting other families. We initially went to get a school place, but have stayed over a decade so far for the relationships and all other points above. As long as I live in the area I’ll be part of this community, and I love it. Go for it.

Taking part perhaps? I don't know but anything is possible isn't it. What's the point in judging someone? There isn't one really is there because it is so personal.

Attending I don't see the issue, certain rituals might be, but in most I've known you can just not do those.

If you have a local Quaker community, that might be a good fit as they are generally open to non-theists - there is even a non-theist Quaker online group that 'meets' monthly most of the year - though in some areas you might run into the WI issue (this can be a problem across many denominations, I've just noticed more there).

Due to some of my work, I have regular discussions with the Dean of my local cathedral who is very much about wanting the cathedral to be a place in the community for all people, regardless of belief. Out discussion are mainly around the local CoE schools connected to the cathedral - none of them have faith as part of admissions and have families of many faiths and none and no one questions the children who perform or visit - in fact, an effort is made to ensure children invited to perform are representative of the school community. The idea that anyone in the community attending would be 'appropriating' I think would be absurd to most who work in this area.

They'll love it but will be hoping to convert you

You can't take communion if you don't believe. That is deeply insulting. They will believe you are going to hell if you do that.

It's really insulting to "play along" if she wants she could take her own biscuit to eat but no please leave the sacred bits alone OP.

Going for a blessing during communion is also part of the ritual and 100% welcomed.

I don’t feel any worries about ‘being a true believer’ - what does that even mean?!

The OP doesn't believe in a creator and doesn't believe in the afterlife. That's not even "a vague concept of god/faith". Even the woolliest of CofE vicars must accept that "there is no God and there is no Heaven" is 0% spirituality.

What is the point of a blessing if you don't believe in God? Who is blessing you? It becomes totally meaningless.

@MasterBeth - it's completely up to the person, though. If they see a point and want a blessing, let them be blessed

Everyone is welcome to take communion or have a blessing in our church

Nobody's business but theirs

I’m on the PCC and support our church 100% because I love the building and the tiny congregation are overwhelmed. Do I believe in God, probably not.

Communion is basically a ritualistic meal. If you were to come to my house, I would offer you food and drink. I wouldn't ask your beliefs/qualifications/what authority you had to share a meal with me. It's the same in my church. I say go, join in talk to people. You might find it works for you.

No-one would care.

Lots of people go to church when they’re not religious. My kids went to a Catholic primary. I and many of my friends I made at that time would take the children to church purely because the school expected it or because they were hoping to get their children into the school.

Clearly depends on the church you attend. I've been to some where it is clearly stated that they think making a false declaration and taking communion when you don't fully commit will result in you going to hell.

As a Christian I'd say its totally fine, even people who are Christians can have periods in their life where they doubt or feel more agnostic. I have friends who are openly atheist who go to church because they want to support their wife's faith and they're still welcomed.

The only thing I would personally have a boundary with is taking communion because its an active act of faith and its something I personally wouldn't do until I believed so I was doing it in genuine true faith. But most churches will absolutely welcome you. Everyone goes to church to learn why should it matter where your starting point is? I would also say its good to try a few churches to find one you feel fits.

Please go. We are all searching for truth. It's a great community of loving people with lots of family activities. You don't have to "believe."

OP, just by being there with everyone you’d be adding to this:

King James Bible
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them

Do go.

Going for a blessing isn't taking communion. It's going up at the same time. And absolutely welcomed at every church.

I think it would be fine. However, not all congregations are welcoming. Our local one is quite cliquey and exclusive.

But she doesn't believe in God, so she doesn't believe in this. ^^

This is why I think it's strange to go to church. Everyone on here is saying "it's fine to go to church, it's practically just a local community occasion, they'll take you as they find you" but then they lay this religious stuff on you. I mean, fine, that's what they believe, but if it's not what you believe, I don't think religious people get how odd they sound. It's like they cannot take you at your word when you tell them you don't believe in it.

"I don't believe in God "

"Well, that's fine because here in the Bible God says I am with you."

"Well, no, because I don't believe a word of it."

A quick Google shows this is untrue. This church thinks it shouldn't be happening:

https://shsmparish.co.uk/getting-a-blessing-vs-receiving-holy-communion

Interesting. Absolutely welcome at every Anglican church I've ever attended though. Actively encouraged with an announcement prior in many cases.