Bum guns...

[LongTermLurker]

...AKA handheld bidets. AIBU to think they're brilliant, and anyone who is content with wiping their arse with dry tissue is a barbarian?

But the spray will, well, spray! No thank you. Wipes all the way for me! Targeted cleaning

Only used them overseas but agree they’re brilliant. They don’t splash as the water doesn’t come out like a shower - it’s more short range and less splashy.

Yes very "direct" 😆😆

I never understand these threads. I wipe with toilet paper and there's nothing ever on the paper. I don't understand how poo is getting all around your bumholes, do I just have a funny shaped one? 😂

They are commonplace in Finland, I wouldn't be without one now, especially useful when you're on your period. Temperature is controlled by the mixer tap in the sink so can get it to just the right temperature if you want though I usually can't be arsed to wait for the water to warm up (upstairs tap is particularly slow to warm up) and just use cold water.

Eh? 🤣🤣 Have you no bum cheeks? You've never had to wipe poo off your arse?

Just marking my place (while reading this out loud to DH in the hope he'll agree to one) some of these replies, I'm creased up! 🤣

You get poo on your bum cheeks???

How have we managed all these years with only loo paper, news paper and leaves 🤔

As opposed to just walking around with it stuck to your derrière.

By the way, if poo isn’t sprayed, or whatever, in your toilet, where else should it live. And why are the back of your legs inside your toilet? You’re doing something wrong.

Inside the crack I mean, not the outside cheeks. Does that bit have its own name? 😆😆

We've managed but had dirty itchy bums and all the people who leave skiddies in their underwear.

No I haven't. I thought that was normal.

People from eastern cultures find it gross that Europeans live like this.

@Silvergoldandglitter Nope, you have hit gold. Why would toilet paper exist if poo didn't get on us, we could just be like dogs, dump and go 😆 I'm jealous of your self cleaning bum!

If you are one of the fortunate people who has a perfect bottom that produces perfectly shaped, clean edged poops of the perfect consistency, and don't have any food intolerances, IBS, or haemorrhoids as a joyful side effect of pregnancy and birth, you may well not have the problem others do.

But for people who have messy poops and possibly external haemorrhoid tags, it is hard to get clean with just paper. Wet wipes or water is needed and water is better for the environment and less stinky in the bin (as wet wipes should not be flushed).

@sst1234 Yes my arabic inlaws were the same, "even your queen will have a dirty bum" 🙈

I do think it's gross that we only wipe with tissue paper. I have ridiculous chronic constipation so only shit about once a week and I have to take laxatives for that so I can time it for before I have a shower or bath. I would love a bum gun though.

And I can't quite believe there's a poster who has never ever ever had anything on the tissue when they wipe - have you never had the shits like from food poisoning??? You've never ever had a squishy one? I'd say that's very unusual

With my poor aim I’d be peering between my legs and hit myself in the eye.

No I've never had food poisoning luckily and never had a runny poo either. Can't believe I'm actually typing this!

@DaveMinion same here, with bum gun v2.0 for prostate biopsies.

Agreed OP, they are the way forward.

I don't want to google - learned my lesson from a deleted troll 😵. Is it a shared one? Like the weird shared toothbrush thing?

Never had a runny poo in your life! Never had the squits after dodgy food, after alcohol, on your period, when ill? As a child? 🤯

I read that as they’re in every orifice!