To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

[Iheartherain]

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

Well, I will need someone to change my adult nappies when I am old and decrepit. Might as well be my own offspring 😂

I’ve lost track of this thread … what??

@Iheartherain let’s see what happens when you have teens. It’s not just about parenting. Would great if things were that easy.
By the time they are teens they are FAR more influenced by outside forces then by anything at home.
substance misuse
pregnancy
mental health issues
self harm
poor choice of partner and friendship groups
determination to do the exact opposite of what you ask of them and to assert themselves.
social media
the list goes on.
you have no control over it.

That may be the case, and certainly a risk for teenagers.

But this mum is EXHAUSTED, how is posting this going to help her.

Whilst I don't necessarily agree with her statement in the title that the sleep deprivation is the worst thing about parenting small children, as having parented 3 of them I've had worse.

But, sleep deprivation is tortuous and comparing teenagers and toddlers is comparing apples and oranges.

OP, honestly it does get easier. One day they're old enough that they can be trusted to get up on their own and you can sleep more. Even if they are still early risers (like my teen).

Having looked after a young GC for 3 days and nights I agree OP.

I'd forgotten about the very early wake ups , I was mentally and physically exhausted.

you've got my sympathy OP.

And just to emphasise here - as I wrote the above very flippantly and it came across probably a lot darker than meant - I don’t mean it (obviously) but I do think some posters should have a bit more awareness of their words when someone is struggling. Being told it never gets better, it only gets worse when someone is in a bad place is a really stupid thing to do.

That aside, here is the point

you have no control over it

BECAUSE THEY ARE INDEPENDENT.

Seeing your child suffer is awful but I do think it is incredibly dramatic to list some of the most awful things an individual can experience and state then as if they are a routine part of having teens. Few people go through life in a blissful state of happiness. You support and show kindness and understanding but you can read a book, watch a film, go out for a meal, have a hobby, have a lie in. At the moment, I can’t and I’m feeling it a tad!

OP, as a mother of 2 older teens AND a 2 year old toddler I feel qualified to tell you that it is absolutely shit getting up at 5 everyday and having teens is definitely easier! Anyone who says differently can't remember what it was like or were lucky to have good sleepers. My 2 year old is up at 5 everyday and it is absolutely ruining my life at the moment!

It is hard. It’s not the early waking itself but the ongoing early waking. That’s why others are saying other things are harder. They’re not saying it’s as relentless as your early mornings Op, just that some isolated incidents or short lived things can be very hard.

Can you let your other half take the reins this weekend? Even book yourself a couple of nights in a local hotel to recharge your batteries before dc2 arrives?

Good god, the Alexas would have been chucked out of the window if that happened to me.

Infanticide would not have been an overreaction imo.

@notsureconfused i hear that!

It’s definitely the ongoing nature of things; ill children are awful but unless you’re in the horrible position of dealing with chronic illness with children, it is short lived.

They are lucky they are so cute. I'm sure evolution has played a part in that....

These days DC wakes up at some point in the night, crawls into my bed, hits and kicks me because there isn't enough space for both of us and pulls my hair just because it's lying around handily. Then when they want to get up at 5am I really need to remind myself that there are times when they are kind of cute (though the only cute and lovable thing at that time is my bed.)

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope you have a partner, if you are pregnant I think they really need to step up this weekend and let you sleep.💐

Nothing to offer but solidarity OP. My son (18m) wakes up somewhere between 4 and 5, and it’s really hard. As you say, it’s hard to have hobbies, couple time, keep on top of the housework, etc. and my son’s permanently exhausted too - but why won’t he sleep longer? My oldest wasn’t like this. 5.30 would be an unusually early wake-up call from him.

It’ll pass for both of us. But it is hard. I’m sure teens are challenging, I know for a fact that a D&V invasion is horrendous, but the constant sleep deprivation is really really tough.

They are SO cute though.

Same here. The clocks gave us 6am for about 3 days then he slowly shuffled back towards 5am, where we remain. For a time, it was 4am so I try and be grateful for 5am, but I just can't be. I just want to sleep. He's happy in his cot for a while but he babbles LOUDLY to himself, stands up in the cot and hammers on the wall (between his room and ours) so really once he's awake there is no more rest to be had. Everyone says "it does end" but WHEN??? I'm scared to ask, because if someone tells me it's when he's 6 I'd rather not know.

Stop it 😂

Have you tried making sure they get plenty of exercise ?
Black out blinds ?
Gro clock ?
Snack before bed ? 😂

Shocked u thought it would be any different!

I am certainly NOT comparing. I had 6 kids in 8 years and three of them are still teens.
what I do strongly object to is her theory that those exhausted by the antics of our teens are somehow to blame for their awful behaviour.
However exhausted she is- that is plainly ignorant and rude.

NATALT (Not all toddlers are like that)

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel do you know what, it is. And it is unheard of me for me to say it.

But the thing is, while not all toddlers are like this, it’s very normal. They are exhausting, they just are. Presenting extreme behaviour that can happen in the teen years like self harm and drug use and proclaiming that therefore ‘it gets worse’ and ‘just you wait until …’ is worse, IMO.

If I went onto threads where parents to teens were struggling and said how hard I was finding my toddler, I’m sure the responses would not be polite and sympathetic, so why should mine be?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

oMG yes, toddlers are exhausting. My dc are 24 months apart and DD1 was a great sleeper but stopped napping the minute DD2 was born. DD2 was a great napper but woke up through the night well past a year.

I was actually lucky neither of them ever got up early but I can't think of anything worse than being forced to get up at 5am every day. I'm not a morning person and 7am is a struggle for me. DH is the same. We would have found early starts a killer.

The worst thing for me at those ages was not being able to take my eyes off them. DD1 was a liability and never got engrossed in activities (found out later she has ASD and poor attention span) so needed a lot of attention to keep her busy and I was just 'on' the whole time. Which is extra hard when you're not getting enough sleep. She didn't really calm down until she was school age - she is 11 now and has her own challenges but I still appreciate not having to follow her round the house!

My only advice, oh Grumpy One, is to go with it, don’t try to fight it.

By that I mean you embrace the 8.30 bedtime and enjoy the fact that (outside your toddler dictator dominated home) the world is lovely and peaceful at 5am.

Dont eat after 7pm, but do try to make plans to go out with friends every now and then.

I hope this is useful.

<<back’s gently away from thread>>

I’m 15 years in with this exact type of early waking. With no breaks anywhere along the way. Such fun.