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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

529 replies

Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 05:28

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 05/05/2023 17:23

I was never a 5am child.

But I had a 5am mum, who forced us all out onto the road to "beat the traffic" at 6am.

The words "you can sleep in the car" were a source of dread way beyond the age that was a realistic expectation.

Feralgremlin · 05/05/2023 17:24

Right there with you, DS10 has started to sleep in until 6ish this past year or so (although for some ridiculous reason was awake at 4am today?!) but thankfully knows not to wake me before 7 on the weekends and 6.30 during the week.
Prior to this though I had to be in bed and asleep by 9 to have any chance of feeling remotely human so you absolutely have my sympathies!

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 17:25

Oh and just to continue on an earlier point, there are loads of positives. I wouldn’t have changed being DS Mum for the world. Just wish I had a norland nanny for 5am -7 am …

OP posts:
Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 17:26

thecatsthecats · 05/05/2023 17:23

I was never a 5am child.

But I had a 5am mum, who forced us all out onto the road to "beat the traffic" at 6am.

The words "you can sleep in the car" were a source of dread way beyond the age that was a realistic expectation.

My dad was obsessed with getting up early. He was convinced anyone sleeping after about 6 was a ‘waste of the day’. I hate that phrase.

OP posts:
TiredOfCleaning · 05/05/2023 17:32

I have a 13 year old who is petrified of both the dark and the toilet flushing. (He has some issues generally and is not NT just to say).

The family bathroom is right outside our door and so we are treated to a 3 am lights on, stampede down the hallway crash into the toilet and flush and run out slamming the door behind him before the toilet flush monsters get to him.

Every single night.

But he is my heart, my joy and my soul so i don't mind TOO much. (But last year when i was away for work I discovered I kept waking with a jerk around 3 am waiting for it to happen).

Ladysquamy · 05/05/2023 17:36

The people suggesting putting children to bed later...do you think we hadn't thought of that? Even if my daughter went to bed at 10, she'd still be up at half five every morning like clockwork. Some kids are just early risers.

GaslitlikeaVictorianparlour · 05/05/2023 17:36

Both of mine were like this between about age 3 and age 4, OP. They are a lot older now but I still remember how tired I was. I don't know what stopped them doing because they just stopped completely out of the blue.
And because I hadn't needed an alarm for what felt like a geological epoch I hadn't set one and was late for work.
And I forgot about it in my sleep deprived haze with DC2 and did exactly the same thing again when they stopped getting up at stupid times.
I have absolutely no advice except for set an alarm clock 🤣

Newmum0322 · 05/05/2023 17:40

Questionquestionqu · 05/05/2023 05:37

No the worst thing is when they wake at 5am AND go 'let's pretend I'm a horse and you're the horse's sister' 😑

😂😂

marmite2023 · 05/05/2023 17:41

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

nopuppiesallowed · 05/05/2023 17:42

shoulditbethishard1 · 05/05/2023 06:48

Omg I thought this was just my child 😳

yes the random sleep screaming is special

Show quote history

One of mine would wake up screaming, be sitting on my lap as I tried to calm her down, then look up at me and say, "But I want my mummy." Completely freaked me out. Every time.

TempName247 · 05/05/2023 17:45

Ladysquamy · 05/05/2023 17:36

The people suggesting putting children to bed later...do you think we hadn't thought of that? Even if my daughter went to bed at 10, she'd still be up at half five every morning like clockwork. Some kids are just early risers.

Would her body clock adjust if you moved to Australia?

Tinybrother · 05/05/2023 17:51

TempName247 · 05/05/2023 17:45

Would her body clock adjust if you moved to Australia?

Show quote history

Are you suggesting that’s what it would take?

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 17:54

It would adjust in a day/night sense of course, it wouldn’t necessarily adjust in the way you think it would.

To be honest, DS has only been going to sleep at around 8, which I think is on the late side for a 2 year old, although I do put him down before that.

OP posts:
Time4achangeagain · 05/05/2023 18:07

OP, you have my sympathy. I remember the early starts and they are shit. Lack of sleep has hands down been the worst thing so far about parenting as it affects everything else and exacerbates everything else that’s a bit shit

marmite2023 · 05/05/2023 18:15

I don’t know why my message was hidden! I was just recommending a treatment that is prescribed for ND children, but really helps anyone with sleep issues, and how it has helped my NT husband sleep beyond 4/5am as once awake (and he wakes as soon as the sun comes up, which is awful for everyone in the summer), he cannot fall sleep again or even nap. The treatment has changed his life! Now he sleeps to 7am. It can be used for any poor sleeper, including children, regardless of their neurotype

KRoo22 · 05/05/2023 18:19

I could have written your post word for word. You have my sympathy

Fam23 · 05/05/2023 18:20

Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 05:28

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

We’re in the 5am gang too 🥴. Bedtime is now 6:30 for them so that they’re also not overtired because no matter what time they go to bed, it’s a 5am wake up 😣

mumwon · 05/05/2023 18:24

We have had grandson staying with us...I had to laugh (FYI my sleeping pattern was wrecked years ago in different ways by each of my children) dgs woke up one morning in the camp cot next to my glasses helpfully held out to me inhis hand announcing "darks gone grandma" this time he announced "its morning time grandma!" rather lovely memory making
when My kids got to high school age 2 of them were pretty dire actually ...could get them up one of them I needed to use pretty extreme methods ....

mumwon · 05/05/2023 18:31

@TiredOfCleaning perhaps suggest he doesn't flush the loo at night... (ducks and waits for answer, sorry!) we leave a light on in the hall (basically so I don't fall over on one of my night time exercise routine to the loo- Oh the joys of ageing) or one of those nightlights in a plug in the hallway

mumwon · 05/05/2023 18:34

@marmite2023 melatonin (if that's the correct spelling by any chance) always ask advise from you chemist (directed to the powers that be)

Twinsforthewin · 05/05/2023 18:39

OP: sending hugs!! I feel your pain!

To all the "put them to bed later" people, of course we've tried that, they still get up at 5 and then they're over tired and cranky all day 🤪🤪🤪🤪

To all the "you've obviously given up, how pathetic" people, I have twins. Same womb, same bedroom, same diet, same parents. Blackout blinds, no screens, for an hour before bed, etc etc...

One wakes up when clock goes green at 7, the other loves a 5.40 am bedside "mummy what happens if I car drives over one of those bollards that comes up out of the road?" Some children are like this. I have fixed it through parenting... For one child. they are just different. Every single child is!

OP isn't asking for a solution, she's asking for sympathy, and sister, you have it. THIS SUCKS!!!!

ImTheOnlyUpsyOne · 05/05/2023 18:42

I remember it well. Absolutely nothing I could do to change it till they went to school. Thankfully both went to bed nicely and pretty much slept through so I did get SOME evening but it was the worst bit and the bit that ne and DH argued about most...who was doing the weekend 5am shift.

Also had that overlap when ds2 woke for feeds feeling like was it worth it going back to bed when ds1 would be up at 5...

IT DOES GET BETTER EVENTUALLY

thelinkisdead · 05/05/2023 18:43

Allthenaughtydogs · 05/05/2023 11:05

Reading this thread reminds me I made the best decision not to have children.
I can do what I like, when I like and sleep whenever…… I don’t understand why people do it?
And I’m 40’s, so not some young thing whose biological clock is yet to tick……..

It really doesn’t last forever though. The toddler years suck. There was very little I really enjoyed about them, but having a 10 year old and a 7 year old is my favourite thing ever. They sleep, they entertain themselves, they’re best friends, they’re endlessly funny and interesting and I can’t imagine life without them. They’re 100% worth the awful first few years! However, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER do it again 😂

Justputitdown · 05/05/2023 18:44

CatMattress · 05/05/2023 05:40

See, I thought the 5am starts were the worst. DS was a bugger for it and didn't stop until he was well into his first year of school, but then DD started a delightful game where she'd go to sleep at a normal time but then wake up at 11pm/midnight ish and stay awake for 4 hours to party. That completely broke me. She was sharing a room with her brother at that point so I had to get up with her.

You have my sympathies. Sleep deprivation is brutal. It does end, though. These days I have to wake both of the little sods up in order to get ready for school.

My kid does this and it's the absolute worst. How long did it last?

Truestorypeeps · 05/05/2023 18:46

2 and 6 year old. Both are asleep by 9pm, the 6 yo wakes between 7 and 8am. The 2 year old doesn't sleep the whole night uninterrupted... I remember the eldest didn't sleep more than 5 hours in a row until he was at least 3 😫

Want to get the attic converted in time for when they are staying up as late as us so we have two distinct areas!!