To not understand this gymnastics club?

[Pintere]

DD is 10 and she asked me if she could start at a local gymnastics club. I was thrilled tbh because she isn’t very sporty and keeping her active can be quite a struggle (yet I keep trying!). It isn’t like her to actually want to try something new at all, I usually have to force her hand a bit to get her engaged in anything active so I was super excited when she asked. I think the main reason is because her two best friends go above all else but it didn’t really matter, she was excited and keen to try it out.

I emailed them to explain she’s a beginner so doesn’t have any prior experience. I expected them to put her into the beginner group mentioned on their website but they replied saying that group is for small children so they’d add her to the more advanced group. She was nervous about going into this group with her friends because I think she thought she’d start with the beginners and only join her friends once she’d advanced somewhat and knew a few moves. She tried the taster session anyway which took a lot of confidence and in the end, she really enjoyed it. They said they would email me today with payment details etc so I had no idea when I collected her that there was any issue and DD is very up for continuing.

They emailed me today basically to say the group isn’t suitable for DD because she isn’t advanced enough? Yet she can’t join their beginners group either because she’s too old. I’m a bit perplexed by this because surely she isn’t the only child her age who is keen to try out a new sport. I can’t imagine this happening in many other clubs. It isn’t like when she started Beavers they told her she couldn’t come because she didn’t know any of their skills yet. The whole idea is to learn and progress as you go.

I’m just in a bit of a panic now about how I’m going to tell her without upsetting her and knocking her confidence. AIBU to think their set up is quite ridiculous?

This is why I'm glad my 5YO is favouring dancing tbh. She was offered a place on the development team at her gymnastics school but we declined as even at age 5 it was going to be 3 hrs a week building up to 8-10 hrs by age 7. She already dances 3 hrs a week too so we knew this would be way too much. I'm sure dancing gets equally as time-consuming, competitive and nasty at times and I'm vigilant to that but I think it has more scope for you to be as serious/leisurely about it as you want and it's something you'll always be able to put passion, creativity and diversity into whatever your ability. I think the problem with gymnastics is that if you aren't good enough to be doing the competitions (and paying lots of money for them) then there arguably isn't a lot of point to it whereas dancing or team sports have a fun factor in their own right. Just keep encouraging your dd OP. She will find something that sticks x

DD started Cheer at 8.5 couldn't do a cartwheel and I refused to let her gymnastics with her friends as it was a super competitive club, tbh couldn't have afforded it.

She's slowly worked up her tumbles and can now do most of them. She's been a flyer and a base and now the clubs can have non-tumbling teams.

When she did try gymnastics at 10 she hated it as it was very 'boring' - she didn't like the emphasis on utter precision of pointing toes and only the chance to move up classes once a year.

Another vote for trampolining.

My dd gave up gymnastics at 10 - clearly even though she is naturally flexible etc they found her personality not compliant enough for squad and she got bored in recreational. They obviously expected them to be like robots.

Trampolining is completely different, far more inclusive and based much more on what they can actually do and building on it.

I think you’d usually go for a one to one session in swimming for this. Especially with goals of improving specific strokes etc and being an adult. I used to swim competitively (gave up due to height but still adore swimming) and I’ve only encountered one to ones.

Is a one to one session an option in gymnastics? Just thinking it may get her closer to the level she needs. I appreciate she may never be able to compete due to lack of flexibility, but it might be an option to let her join a club? Or do all clubs require you compete?

What about a different team sport. How about cricket? Often girls don't start till later. Or netball? Or tennis.

Try contacting Beth Tweddle - you might not be in the area of one of their clubs but Beth didn't start until she was 8 they might be able to sign post you.

https://www.bethtweddlegymnastics.co.uk/our-centres

What about skateboarding? I started age 42 😁

What hobbies does she have? Drama/music etc? If I were you I’d stick with what she’s good at. I think if she genuinely wanted to be good at gym she would be by now, classes or not. By that I mean cartwheels in the garden, handstands at break time, splits etc. My 9yo dd has never done gym classes before but spent a year before I enrolled her practising cartwheels, backbends, ridiculous stretch things in the garden, and has started the classes with no problem.

She’d be able to start ballet.
Although most start age 5ish, up until about age 10 they will put you into your age class even if others are more advanced.

As you say, it sucks. Clubs should be encouraging all . Inclusion doesn't seem to mean a lot in reality. Children don't realise the opportunity has to be grasped as soon as possible and think they can do it anytime.

A friends daughter did gymnastics and was asked to leave by the age of 9 because she wasn't deemed good enough.

ExDIL took DS1,aged 6, to football trials with a local club.
She was amazed at the skills level required and attained by some of the kids.
DS had told her numerous times that if they wanted DS to play, he needed a club from tiny, but she was adamant that all the kids would be the same.. until she saw they weren't. DGS was put off football, although she put his younger brother in a club and plays for a side.

I was going to suggest martial arts. Our local Karate club runs beginners sessions regularly and gets a mixture of ages coming along and is super friendly.

I'm sure things will change at secondary school and lots of opportunities will come up for your DD.

Definitely martial arts, progress is individual, no 'not good enough, goodbye'
It can be taken up at any age. I've started in my 50s.

We gave up on gymnastics. All the focus was on the few talented kids for their competitive team and they ignored everyone else. Everyone not in the team were simply a cash cow that had to be tolerated. It really wound me up.
There was no focus on having fun, personal goals and/or extra help and encouragement for those that need it.
This is why unsporty kids give up on sport.
We chose dance instead. And her teachers were quite happy to take my unflexible but keen 10 year old, they said she’d catch up and everyone will help.

My daughter has been doing gymnastics since she was two (now 9) but she’s not very good (no natural talent) and has to work very hard just to be a bit flexible. The club she goes to has ‘general gymnastics’ classes which is what she does - there’s a range of abilities in the class and it’s more just about having fun. You could tell the kids that had talent for gymnastics, as they were pulled straight from the pre-school gym class into the squads and don’t do general gym. You can join the general gymnastics class at any age and with any talent so maybe worth looking around at other clubs. Bigger clubs are more likely to have more options. They also have trampolining sessions and various other separate classes.

Would she try horse riding? Less "typically sporty", lots and lots of beginners of her age group and lots of activities which don't always have to include riding

DD, 12, gave up recreational gymnastics and trampolining at the end of last year after about 6 years.

She now goes to an open rollerskating session and a taught circus skills class once a week. She only started the circus class last week, with children that have been going for years and there hasn’t been any issue. They’re juggling and on trapezes and it seems to be easy for them to differentiate for ability and age.

I found that lots of clubs/schools aren't offering classes for older beginners. DD wanted to try ballet, she was 7, and only one school had a beginner group, they stopped as it was undersubscribed.

But on the other hand, they don't advertise.

DD then started musical theatre, it seems there is a lot more movement of older children starting than gymnastic and standard dance classes.

We then had the issue that she stopped at 15 but wanted to do something new. She now moved to martial arts, luckily the club is very supportive of older starters, the coach herself only started as an older teen, so knows how it feels.

Cheerleading may be worth looking at, they are normally a bit older.

I know your saying she doesn’t like dance but acro (if you have a class near you) is gymnastics to music. That might help boost her skills till she’s ready for the big class ?

Perhaps if that gymnastics club is planning on running a summer camp (usually run through the day and doesn't involve any sleeping over), you could send her to that to keep her interest up. In the meantime, try to find a larger club that does beginner lessons for her age group or something like recreational gymnastics.

Not sure if you're in the UK or Ireland but if you happen to be in Ireland, check out this site:
GymSTART | Starting Out As A Gymnast | Gymnastics Ireland

They should be able to help you out.

It was a try out or a trial for both the club and your DD. They wanted to see her level of physical competence and so on. It’s a safety thing and good for them.

If there’s no other gymnastics club in your area, what about finding a fun dance class or two? I’d always recommend ballet as it is really good for children to learn how to hold their skeletons and spinal alignment properly. But it may not be for her - if you could find a street dance class maybe? That would be fun and energetic.

And dance is a lot safer for growing bodies actually.

I'd agree with this. Acro might be worth a look if you can't find a beginners gymnastics class.

Netball?

I'd simply tell your daughter the truth. Then marvel together at what a shame there is such a lack in beginner older classes. Sympathise as she is disappointed, mad, sad etc. Then move on. She is 10. Think you need to give her the chance to handle this situation.

My girls do the same sort of thing. It’s called recreational gymnastics. They don’t do competitions or part of a squad. If they are talented they can get picked out for extra training and squad stuff. My youngest was picked out but I declined. I just want them to do it for fun.
I think you need to find a big club. Ours is huge they will cater for older beginners. My eldest was around 8 when she joined

This is what I can't quite grasp about the situation. My dd is only 5 and can do a good bridge and a near perfect cartwheel etc. She has done gymnastics and acro at dancing for a while which will have fine tuned the skills a bit but tbh she's learned most of it mucking about at home etc. They don't actually have the attention span to learn much before age 5

I don't mean this to put OP's dd down but if she hasn't picked up at least a bit of that herself by age 10 then reality is she probably doesn't have much of a passion for it never mind aptitude. A 10 year old who's handstanding and cartwheeling everywhere and just needs their skills fine tuning might well catch up. I'm not convinced that one without this baseline would for lots of reasons.

I had a similar issue with my two girls, when they were 4 and 8. The younger one joined a gymnastics class and the older one wanted to join too, but found she was much older and taller than the others in her group. After a couple of weeks she twisted her ankle and had to skip a few sessions but by then she was discouraged and didn't want to go back. It's difficult for young teens - most classes are for kids who are at a certain skill level but they are too young for adult classes.