Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand this gymnastics club?

130 replies

Pintere · 04/05/2023 15:21

DD is 10 and she asked me if she could start at a local gymnastics club. I was thrilled tbh because she isn’t very sporty and keeping her active can be quite a struggle (yet I keep trying!). It isn’t like her to actually want to try something new at all, I usually have to force her hand a bit to get her engaged in anything active so I was super excited when she asked. I think the main reason is because her two best friends go above all else but it didn’t really matter, she was excited and keen to try it out.

I emailed them to explain she’s a beginner so doesn’t have any prior experience. I expected them to put her into the beginner group mentioned on their website but they replied saying that group is for small children so they’d add her to the more advanced group. She was nervous about going into this group with her friends because I think she thought she’d start with the beginners and only join her friends once she’d advanced somewhat and knew a few moves. She tried the taster session anyway which took a lot of confidence and in the end, she really enjoyed it. They said they would email me today with payment details etc so I had no idea when I collected her that there was any issue and DD is very up for continuing.

They emailed me today basically to say the group isn’t suitable for DD because she isn’t advanced enough? Yet she can’t join their beginners group either because she’s too old. I’m a bit perplexed by this because surely she isn’t the only child her age who is keen to try out a new sport. I can’t imagine this happening in many other clubs. It isn’t like when she started Beavers they told her she couldn’t come because she didn’t know any of their skills yet. The whole idea is to learn and progress as you go.

I’m just in a bit of a panic now about how I’m going to tell her without upsetting her and knocking her confidence. AIBU to think their set up is quite ridiculous?

OP posts:
SpringBunnies · 04/05/2023 23:03

I saw someone suggested ice skating. There are lots of teen beginners and even adult only beginner classes. It has options for those who aren’t competitive (as in like gymnastics competitive). The rink I skate in do shows which have groups for beginner skaters. Give it a try if you have a rink close by.

Rachie1973 · 04/05/2023 23:06

Janedoe82 · 04/05/2023 21:38

I am going to be brutal- unless she has natural ability which seems unlikely as they haven’t let her join the older group, at age ten she is really too old. Once they hit puberty their bodies lose the flexibility etc.
I have two daughters- one who did 18 hours a week and was just a natural gymnast build, and one who did a couple of hours recreational before giving up as she just isn’t the build for it, and having been at two clubs, most really are only interested in the girls who can be high performers as they get older. But very few continue beyond 14.
I would encourage her to try something else.

Yup. My 8 year old granddaughter trains for hours a week, since she was 5 it’s steadily built. It’s expensive too once they’re heavily involved.

Sunshineboo · 04/05/2023 23:07

some kids have a real natural aptitude for gymnastics and pick things up easily. the tester is a two way tester - perhaps they would be better calling it a trial?

have you thought about trampolining? just a suggestion - it's in the gymnastics sort of environment and can be really fun.

good luck to you and your daughter - i hope this doesn't dishearten her

Justalittlebitduckling · 04/05/2023 23:08

Pintere · 04/05/2023 15:47

It may just be a case of gymnastics not being for her then ultimately. It’s just sad because getting her engaged with anything sporty is difficult and she seemed to really enjoy herself last night. I’ll keep digging to find either a beginners class for her age or something similar like trampolining. Struggling to find one, guessing it is just something most children start very young.

I was going to suggest trampolining.

JudgeRudy · 04/05/2023 23:14

Pintere · 04/05/2023 15:21

DD is 10 and she asked me if she could start at a local gymnastics club. I was thrilled tbh because she isn’t very sporty and keeping her active can be quite a struggle (yet I keep trying!). It isn’t like her to actually want to try something new at all, I usually have to force her hand a bit to get her engaged in anything active so I was super excited when she asked. I think the main reason is because her two best friends go above all else but it didn’t really matter, she was excited and keen to try it out.

I emailed them to explain she’s a beginner so doesn’t have any prior experience. I expected them to put her into the beginner group mentioned on their website but they replied saying that group is for small children so they’d add her to the more advanced group. She was nervous about going into this group with her friends because I think she thought she’d start with the beginners and only join her friends once she’d advanced somewhat and knew a few moves. She tried the taster session anyway which took a lot of confidence and in the end, she really enjoyed it. They said they would email me today with payment details etc so I had no idea when I collected her that there was any issue and DD is very up for continuing.

They emailed me today basically to say the group isn’t suitable for DD because she isn’t advanced enough? Yet she can’t join their beginners group either because she’s too old. I’m a bit perplexed by this because surely she isn’t the only child her age who is keen to try out a new sport. I can’t imagine this happening in many other clubs. It isn’t like when she started Beavers they told her she couldn’t come because she didn’t know any of their skills yet. The whole idea is to learn and progress as you go.

I’m just in a bit of a panic now about how I’m going to tell her without upsetting her and knocking her confidence. AIBU to think their set up is quite ridiculous?

That's disappointing and I'm angry on your behalf. Your daughter needs all the encouragement she can get, not knock backs that could potentially have a lasting effect.
As an adult I've struggled to find beginners classes for some 'sports' I wanted to try....but irritating as it is, it's not affecting my confidence. If this is their policy, what on earth were they thinking allowing her to attend then rejecting her? It's not as if you didn't make it clear.

NoSquirrels · 04/05/2023 23:34

I’m going to be the eleventy-billionth person to suggest cheer. It’s not poms-poms and ra-ra, it’s a team sport with elements of gymnastics but often the teams are mixed ages and different abilities within them. To do the stunts they need to learn to lift etc and she can work on her gym skills as she goes.

Essexgirlupnorth · 04/05/2023 23:55

My daughter does acro gymnastics she only joined her club a year ago but they do recreational classes though she is in the top group. She did dancing when she was younger so couldn't fit gymnastics in as well. Our council also have a gymnastics gym who even do adult recreational classes.

It does seem like everyone start really young through we went to the British Gymnastics Championships in March and all the senior gymnasts were late teens early twenties. There competitive career is over by mid-twenties.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 05/05/2023 00:03

Both been mentioned but climbing and cheer sound like good options. My daughter does cheer and in her (lovely) club the tumbling is taught in different groups from the teams at their ability level, being able to do a cartwheel is quite important but in routines those who can't do the tumbles just step back.

SarahDippity · 05/05/2023 00:11

Taster sessions work both ways - to give the child an opportunity to try it out, and to give the club a chance to see if they can accommodate the skill level.

My local drama school (which is highly regarded) offers ‘taster sessions’ each term week one, but really they are a screening process, which I didn’t really realise. Many activities will have kids who’ve been skilling up for a number of years and a brand new arrival just mightn’t be able to be accommodated. Different maybe if she was doing eg ballet and wanted to take up hip-hop, she’d have transferable abilities. Sorry that this one might not be for her, but maybe a fitness class, junior strength and conditioning, capoeira, or something else for agility might be more open.

80sgirly · 05/05/2023 00:12

I'm going to echo @sunflowerdaisyrose
My DD started Cheer aged 12. She's making slow progress with tumbling but she's part of a competitive team and feels valued for her contribution lifting and supporting the 'flyers'.

notquitesoyoung · 05/05/2023 00:30

I would explain to DD that the club can't accommodate her from an ability perspective rather than DD not being good enough. They should probably have communicated before the trial that a complete beginner 10 year old is unlikely to be able to fit into their structure but every now and then someone goes for a trial with a massive natural ability and therefore would fit. Safety is a huge factor is grouping. With two friends there you can't lie and say it's full. Hopefully you can find another club which does have the set up to accommodate a true beginner age 10 but as others have said trampolining might be an alternative.

pantjog · 05/05/2023 00:43

My DD goes to a mixed age, mixed ability gymnastics class for home ed children. It absolutely is possible to teach older beginners alongside more experienced/gifted children. There's a lack of imagination in the gymnastics school you tried.

Is there a climbing wall near you? That's a fun activity for "non sporty" kids.

Try a taster session for watersports if you have a suitable centre nearby? My DS is mad about sailing having got in to it this way.

Barbecuebeans · 05/05/2023 05:17

Water sports or martial arts are great ideas as they're very sociable and are probably better as long term activities you can do as an adult. I don't know much about trampolining or cheer but they do seem similar as you don't need particular sporting prowess to enjoy them.

Kelbowl · 05/05/2023 06:07

I’ve worked in gymnastics/trampolining all my life and your predicament is exactly why I moved away from gymnastics to trampoline. Why shouldn’t someone be able to pick up the sport at 10? but clubs don’t cater for that because the British Gymnastics program doesn’t really cater for it. Trampoline on the other hand is so much more forgiving and we have had teens start and in a few years been competing nationally. It also works for any body shape. Why not suggest your daughter and her friends try a local trampoline class?

Meeko86 · 05/05/2023 06:07

What about freestyle dance it’s similar to gymnastics that they do learn splits and lots of acrobatics and also get to compete and it works that they have beginners sections across all age groups so very inclusive! The waiting lists are crazy for gymnastics here so these alternatives are proving popular and sometimes much more fun!

Fandabedodgy · 05/05/2023 06:17

What about Cubs / Scouts?

They do lots of physical and adventurous activities and would also help nurture her confidence and resilience.

Joco1212 · 05/05/2023 06:30

Where are you based? Where I live there is a gymnastics club that does drop ins for different levels. My son started that way, there are all different skills and the class set up works for different levels, they just split it into 3 or 4 categories depending on skill level. My son started that way and still does drop in but is also now a member and competes.

FabFitFifties · 05/05/2023 06:42

Gymnastic clubs are all about competition and starting very young. We have had a similar situation with football and a 12 year old. He is very good, compared to his friends who are in teams, but they won't even see him because he hasn't already been playing in teams. He's took this long to work up the confidence and he's too late basically. Does her school not have after school clubs for this sort of thing?

Setyoufree · 05/05/2023 06:44

Sadly I'm not surprised. My kids left gymnastics aged about 8/9 when they started hiving some kids off for squad, and anyone else was still welcome to come once a week and pay, but have a teenage coach that looked bored out of their brain, and make no progress whatsoever anymore.

Haven't read the full thread but something like trampolining, synchronized swimming or high board diving might appeal?

Setyoufree · 05/05/2023 06:45

FabFitFifties · 05/05/2023 06:42

Gymnastic clubs are all about competition and starting very young. We have had a similar situation with football and a 12 year old. He is very good, compared to his friends who are in teams, but they won't even see him because he hasn't already been playing in teams. He's took this long to work up the confidence and he's too late basically. Does her school not have after school clubs for this sort of thing?

Have you tried your local rugby club instead? So much more welcoming and inclusive than football. They tend to pick up lots of kids around that age that have become disillusioned with football

1AngelicFruitCake · 05/05/2023 06:47

I’ve got my reservations about gymnastics, the way it’s run, subtle focus on appearance but my daughter loves it. She’s been going since she was 5, she’s now just turned 9, practises most days at home, goes few times a week and that’s probably not enough! It’a a tough sport,we were allowed to watch a session recently and they kept being told ‘again, no, again, not good enough’ etc i was a bit 😮

I do agree though that there mustn’t be the demand for older groups.

Redebs · 05/05/2023 06:53

Lots of these sports are for ambitious kids and their parents. They aren't about encouraging fitness or fun. They expect kids to start very young, to put in long hours and injuries are common.
Try Sports England website for more appropriate groups in your area.

Bigboysmademedoit · 05/05/2023 06:54

What about hockey? It’s common to start hockey at any age, particularly at around 11 years old when kids move school. They have all abilities.

RHOShitVille · 05/05/2023 06:57

Horse riding if you have the money. Kids start at all ages, and lots of opportunities for non-riding exercise (mucking out etc).

CalmConfident · 05/05/2023 06:59

I signed in to suggest hockey and junior parkrun.

Hockey is a friendly fun sport and caters well to mix of beginners and more experienced.

Junior parkrun is wonderful! Sunday 2k - free, 9am. Kids can walk or run …or volunteer and cheer on others. All are welcome, we see huge confidence growth, it’s really not about how fast you run ☺️