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Original poster

To think that driving 10hrs overnight with toddler is a good idea?!

140 replies

MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 17:02

DS is 21 months and we are going away for 10 days in the UK. To drive it’s 10hrs and we were thinking of driving overnight. He doesn’t go to bed until 9pm, so we would probably leave around 8pm, keep him entertained for the first hour, then hopefully he will go to sleep. Imagine we would arrive around 7am with a couple loo/coffee stops, and this would be his usual wakeup time. We will share the driving and one of us will be in the back with him at all times.

Are we mad to do this? Has anyone got any experience of this? We are going on holiday with family, so they will be able to help with DS the next day while we catch up on a bit of sleep. Also can’t find any info, but the 2hr in the car seat rule must not apply once they are toddlers??

The alternative is leave the house at 6am, 2hr drive, bus to airport, 2hrs in the airport, 1.5hr flight, 2.5hr drive out the other side. I just feel like that’ll be so much more stressful, and DS isn’t a good sleeper, so all that sitting still will most likely result in a terrible night first night of our hols.

What would you do?!

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 03/05/2023 21:22

Try it. If it were me I think I’d do an evening, so a bit of overnight from about 5-10pm, then stay overnight somewhere cheap, then do the rest in two chunks with a stop the next day. Mainly because I’d be worried that the toddler wouldn’t actually sleep that much (mine do a few hours in the car and then wake) but also because I know I’d feel like death once I got there and it would probably ruin the first day. I wouldn’t fly though.

MotherOfCatBoy · 03/05/2023 21:26

Driving at night, particularly 2-6am, is dangerous, because of our body’s propensity to sleep during those hours. It’s the equivalent impairment to being drunk whilst driving. Don’t do it, it’s not worth it.
(Read LifeTime by Russell Foster for more info on circadian rhythms and brain performance).
I’d split the journey and do some one evening, sleep, the rest the next day, swapping driving regularly for breaks.

Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:27

@MissHoney85 see we almost have the reverse problem! Ours sleeps well in the car, and as I’ve said several times already, he will ONLY nap in the car these days and so sleeps in the car on a daily basis 😂 however when staying away from home he’s terrible. We got married last year when he was just over 1. The night before I had him by myself in an Airbnb and he just would not go to sleep. Finally gave in at almost midnight, then up at 5am for the day. The next night (night of the wedding) we had a family friend to come and sit with him once he had gone to bed. Would he go to bed, absolutely not! Up until 11 when he finally gave in and breastfed to sleep, awake again an hour later, up at 6am. I felt awful for putting him through those few days with so little sleep, but I guess their sleep can’t be perfect 100% of the time and you can make room for occasional disruption for a good reason. Not easy on anyone though, I wondered afterwards why we even tried to have a wedding with our non sleeping baby 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:30

@Mummy08m why would an almost 2 year old need a nappy change in the middle of the night? I honestly don’t think I’ve changed his nappy in the night in well over a year 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:32

@CatOnTheChair @ManuelBensonsLeftBoot hmm these are good suggestions and will definitely consider this! The only slight issue is the last stretch of our journey is over a rather hairy mountain road, which I have been on countless times as have been going there since I was a toddler myself. I’m not sure it would be the best idea to do it in the dark.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 03/05/2023 21:33

When we drive to Devon from Norfolk, I go to bed very early and sleep until 1am, then get up and drive in one go. Usually takes 7hrs ish and I arrive in time for breakfast. The DC sleep in the back. My parents did the same with us when we were little and we loved it, as do my two. The 4 or 5hrs sleep are enough to keep me going until that night. I happily do it on my own, listen to a decent audio book usually, and it's even easier when DH comes too as we share the driving.

NotmykingEatCake · 03/05/2023 21:34

You absolutely won't be safe to drive overnight if this when you normally sleep!!

Ffs why would you even consider this? It's selfish and irresponsible.

Especially as you child probably WONT sleep so the driver will distracted as well as exhausted.

Pls don't do this.

NotmykingEatCake · 03/05/2023 21:35

MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:32

@CatOnTheChair @ManuelBensonsLeftBoot hmm these are good suggestions and will definitely consider this! The only slight issue is the last stretch of our journey is over a rather hairy mountain road, which I have been on countless times as have been going there since I was a toddler myself. I’m not sure it would be the best idea to do it in the dark.

Or when you're COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED,

goodkidsmaadhouse · 03/05/2023 21:36

Just to warn you OP, one of mine always napped brilliantly in the car but any time we tried to drive into the night (and not even a full overnight but aiming to arrive somewhere around midnight) he would wake a couple of hours after falling asleep and then just cry and cry and cry.

I’d have a Plan B just in case it doesn’t go well. Actually I’d do what we tend to do (also have a regular long drive to family) and make the drive part of the fun. Leave around lunchtime, plan a couple of good stops, make dinner the last stop when you get your LO into PJs and brush teeth and then blitz the remainder of the drive.

Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:39

@LaLaLaNotListeningNotListening i did ask this in my original post…

OP posts:
Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:43

@NotmykingEatCake right firstly, you know absolutely nothing about my child and his sleeping habits, where he will and won’t sleep etc. Secondly to suggest I am selfish and irresponsible as a parent is laughable and a completely ridiculous assumption. As a mother who breastfed until very recently, cosleeps to support my child with his sleep as much as possible and puts my child first always, the last thing I am as a parent is selfish or irresponsible. I am considering the best possible option for my child in this scenario too.

OP posts:
Excellentbex · 03/05/2023 21:45

I used to do a 9-10 hour drive with kids. I tried leaving at all different times, and what worked best for us was the really early start. I’d make a point to rest the day before leaving or go to bed early. Then load sleeping kids into the car at 3 or 4 am and drive as long as possible before breaking for hot breakfast and a playground. They’d be awake for the next stretch so I’d pull out all the entertainment stops - songs, eye spy games, toys, safe snacks. One more stop to run around / eat lunch then encourage relaxing and napping for the last stretch of driving. We’d be in by mid afternoon without really wrecking their sleep schedules or being shattered myself.

Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:48

@TheBeastReleased thanks for your advice ☺️ with your younger one, did you get them out the car seat regularly? Or just let them sleep? Bit worried about when the ‘2hr rule’ stops applying?!

OP posts:
MaraScottie · 03/05/2023 21:52

I would be worried about a child in a car seat for that length of time. I'd be inclined to split it over 2 days personally.

NotmykingEatCake · 03/05/2023 21:58

MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 21:43

@NotmykingEatCake right firstly, you know absolutely nothing about my child and his sleeping habits, where he will and won’t sleep etc. Secondly to suggest I am selfish and irresponsible as a parent is laughable and a completely ridiculous assumption. As a mother who breastfed until very recently, cosleeps to support my child with his sleep as much as possible and puts my child first always, the last thing I am as a parent is selfish or irresponsible. I am considering the best possible option for my child in this scenario too.

I wasn't implying you were selfish and irresponsible as a parent, but as a driver who will be endangering other road users.

Whether you breastfeed or not has no impact on your ability to drive when you should be asleep.?

NotmykingEatCake · 03/05/2023 21:59

Also, putting yourself in a situation where you are more likely to crash ISNT putting your child first,

Jesus. Think!

Original poster
MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 22:02

@NotmykingEatCake no obviously not. If we felt there was any risk that either of us might fall asleep, we would of course pull over and take a break, or even make a last minute stop at a hotel etc. Plenty of people drive overnight, otherwise there wouldn’t even be ‘other road users’.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 03/05/2023 22:16

It sounds miserable and risky. Two tired adults in charge of a toddler.
Just leave early and drive in the daytime.

TMess · 03/05/2023 22:18

We’ve always done this. Works perfectly!

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/05/2023 22:19

Used to do this. Lived in East Anglia, family were in Cornwall. Always skipped the nap if at all possible and it usually went well. Of course, she was bright as a button in the morning so one parent needed to drive whilst the other slept, then the driver got to sleep for a few hours in the morning.

PinkPlantCase · 03/05/2023 22:19

We’ve done 8 hours overnight with 1 stop to swap drivers. Worked great for DS, we were exhausted the other end though.

On the way home we broke the journey up a bit more so we were only doing about 5 hours in the night and du the rest in the day, 2 hours to get to an attraction, 1 hour+ to somewhere for dinner and then the other 5 at usual bedtime. That worked better for us and we were more capable of functioning the next day.

Onehappymam · 03/05/2023 22:20

We used to do this when ours were little.

We’d bath them, put them into their pyjamas and head off at 8pm. We also used grobags that were suitable for car seats (slits for the straps to go through). We’d take turns driving in 3 - 4 hour shifts.

The worst bit for us was the first and last couple of hours - when we were on country roads. Sometimes we’d book a cheap hotel at these points for a kip. The motorway was the easy bit.

TMess · 03/05/2023 22:23

NotmykingEatCake · 03/05/2023 21:35

Or when you're COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED,

Show quote history

You aren’t completely exhausted though. The first driver takes a nap in the early evening, and the other person naps while they drive, then you switch on and off. My DH and I have done this with and without kids dozens and dozens of times and never even been so exhausted that we couldn’t function when we got to our destination. We usually nap with the DC on day one but it’s really not that hard.

Tinybrother · 03/05/2023 22:25

I have had a couple of truly hellish daytime long journeys with toddlers in the car, taking regular pit stops for stretching legs etc. non stop screaming on one occasion. Far far more stressful and dangerous than driving at night, which has been blissful in comparison

Iwasafool · 03/05/2023 22:29

MintGreenLife · 03/05/2023 17:14

@monotonemusings my parents will be around to help - they’re great with him as have him one day a week so that I can work, so expect they’d be more than happy to have him for the morning or something while we get some sleep!

I think as long as you have that help when you get there it should be doable. Most kids seem to sleep on long journeys, I've been known to nod off myself when DH is doing a long drive.