To think that driving 10hrs overnight with toddler is a good idea?!

[MintGreenLife]

DS is 21 months and we are going away for 10 days in the UK. To drive it’s 10hrs and we were thinking of driving overnight. He doesn’t go to bed until 9pm, so we would probably leave around 8pm, keep him entertained for the first hour, then hopefully he will go to sleep. Imagine we would arrive around 7am with a couple loo/coffee stops, and this would be his usual wakeup time. We will share the driving and one of us will be in the back with him at all times.

Are we mad to do this? Has anyone got any experience of this? We are going on holiday with family, so they will be able to help with DS the next day while we catch up on a bit of sleep. Also can’t find any info, but the 2hr in the car seat rule must not apply once they are toddlers??

The alternative is leave the house at 6am, 2hr drive, bus to airport, 2hrs in the airport, 1.5hr flight, 2.5hr drive out the other side. I just feel like that’ll be so much more stressful, and DS isn’t a good sleeper, so all that sitting still will most likely result in a terrible night first night of our hols.

What would you do?!

Our cousins did this in the summer, with two toddlers. Worked for them, but I don’t think I could hack it!
I think it was worse for them going home - no one to take over from them when they just needed to sleep!

Do either of you drive long distances now? If not, then it can be surprisingly tired. My parents used to do this with us back in SA - we’d leave in the evening around bedtime and arrive at the gates opening for the game reserve. Loved it (though like a PP we had seats down and a duvet and pillows). My mom bless her slept in the front seat.

We’ve also done it many years in a row with no problems. I know it’s not for everyone but it’s perfectly possible to do if it suits you.

The thought of driving 10 hours overnight even without a toddler fills me with dread. Surely it's an accident waiting to happen? Doesn't sound safe all.

Prefer the suggestion above of leaving several hours earlier aiming to strive at midnight - if you really have to

But tbh I'd just not go on a holiday like this because of the distance

I’m the opposite.

was raised with overnight drives as a kid (all
over Europe) and did it with DD as a baby/toddler/young child too. I can sleep anywhere so a cat nap the other side was never an issue before starting the day.

We did similar with DD in the summer. We've been doing campervan holidays for years and usually get late Eurotunnel then drive a few hours into France, stopping at a motel at around 2am. DD has never been a big car sleeper but we thought she'd have to give in by 9ish. She had other ideas! She just couldn't fall asleep, she was beside herself with tiredness and it was actually quite distressing to see. I felt very guilty. That said, it was only one night so not a big deal in the context of the whole holiday. We all got over it within a day or two. Most holidays will cause a degree of disruption to sleep and routines. And most toddlers probably sleep better in a car than DD.

We did a similar length journey when our daughter was 2 and opted to start at 2am so she would go back to sleep until 7am ish, stop for breakfast and carry on from there. It worked well and meant we weren't totally exhausted. Good luck!

I'd definitely go for option B, the early flight. It's not even a particularly long flight or drive either side. My toddler DD is much easier to entertain when the journey is broken up like that: she'd enjoy people watching on the airport bus, the novelty of the airplane experience entertains her by itself for at least half an hour. Plus you can go to the loo etc any time (relatively speaking) without having to lengthen your journey further. Also flight attendants, sometimes even nearby passengers, might help entertain even briefly. On nearly every flight we've been on with DD, an older child happened to be sitting nearby and would interact with her for a bit. And you can zone out with a book for a bit, and get fed snacks, rather than all that motorway driving. No brainer for me!

Have you ever driven overnight with the toddler.
DS2 used to scream as soon as the streetlights came on. It made going anywhere in winter a nightmare.

What about a compromise. Set off after lunch. Drive 2 hours to a nice place for a decent run around and fresh air, along with dinner. Drive another 3 hours, into PJs, then just one stop overnight. Get there at 3am, so you can both have a reasonable chunk of sleep overnight.

Like a PP I have

Ps on one of the stops you might have to change his nappy - I'd be surprised if he went back to sleep again! And then you'll have to placate a whiny toddler for the remaining 7h... I stand by my vote for the flight option!

Like a PP I have done a long drive by leaving at about 4 or 5 pm driven for a few hours than stopped for food and a run about for the (then) toddler then done the rest of the drive while he (hopefully) slept. It meant arriving at about 2am which is fine when visitingy night owl family but if it's a holiday place you will need to take check in times into account. It would be awful to drive all night only to discover you have to hang about until 3pm before you can check in.

i have done it many times. kids slept most of the way

I always do the drive to visit family at DD's bedtime. How come he goes to bed so late? Does he still nap? Could he go without a nap and leave at 6/7pm?

What time does he wake up? Could do it the other way round and all go to bed at 9am, set an alarm for 3am, scoop him in the car and go. Depends if he'd wake up being move from bed to car. You'd have to factor in entertainment for the last few hours.

Also there will be no traffic around, a 10hour journey could take much longer in day time.

I hate overnight drives with toddler. When mine decides not to sleep, then it’s even worse as it dark and you can’t just stop somewhere like a park or restaurant at 2am

I would split it, and stay overnight on route.

Load car up around 2pm, drive 2.5hrs - stop for park, run around, snacks/ picnic dinner for toddler . Drive another 2.5hrs and stop somewhere around 8pm for the night. Everyone gets some sleep, breakfast, then leave by 9am for the next 5hrs (2.5hrs, stop for lunch and run around? 2.5hrs).
That way you get the car, it’s easier in one place, but everyone gets to arrive not absolutely exhausted

As an ex army wife that did the England to Germany 17hr drive many, many times I personally found it better to drive in the day. Keep them entertained and fed (a lot!!) than drive overnight because while it sounds ideal, my kids didn't sleep well in the car, so were tetchy and grumpy but also had enough energy to need me the next day but because I'd had no sleep it was awful. Truly torturous.

I couldn’t imagine anything worse than starting off a holiday being up a full day, a full night and then the next day with just a short nap on the second day all while entertaining a toddler.

I would split it and stay in a hotel on route.

We used to do a 5 hour drive quite regularly and drove at night until ours was about 15 months (we’d lift him out the seat and give him a stretch every couple of hours and he’d go back to sleep). But he just stopped going to sleep and we had hellish drives with him wide awake and overtired. And then all exhausted the next day with routine all out of the window. So now we drive for a couple of hours and then stay at a hotel, all get some sleep and do the rest in the morning. Luckily ours does settle in a travel cot as long as he can see us, he falls asleep happily.

The 2hr rule in the car seat does apparently technically still apply because they have their movement restricted by the harness. However we've done overnight drives and typically push it to 3, sometimes 4 hours for at least one stretch. I don't think it's as big of a risk as when they are tiny.

They don't usually sleep all the way through. It's best to stop every couple of hours anyway just to break up the journey a bit. We've found that it's generally best to leave around 11pm and do the longest stretch first, so around 3-4 hours depending how everyone is doing. Have a quick wee/leg stretch break. Then continue another 2 hours by which time it's getting light. Little stop again. Back in the car for another hour or two to get to the ferry port, hopefully before around 7/8 and miss rush hour. We would then have a proper breakfast on the ferry.

If you don't have a ferry stop, then it's worth extending the breakfast stop off to miss rush hour. It's much nicer to spend an hour in a service station than in a traffic jam with a grumpy screaming child.

Second half of the journey is ostensibly only 3 hours so in theory you can arrive by lunchtime. However everyone is grouchy on the last leg so we usually have to stop at least once.

We tried leaving at the kids bedtime thinking that would be better but it was utter carnage. Every time they woke up they were freaked out because they weren't in bed. We were both exhausted having been awake all the previous day. When we leave at 11 we get everything ready and then go to bed at the kids bedtime to get a nap in.

I’ve done both. We used to drive when DD was small enough just to conk but she doesn’t now and we have DS too. So we do early start, 6am flight, up in Scotland by lunch then a big lunchtime nap for the one year old and a short daytime nap (if we can get her to!) for the 3yo. If anyone’s short on sleep in the evening we eke it out as long as possible and then an early bedtime for them both. I always prefer a mad early start with small ones because it means that if we need to make up the hours it’s sorted by bedtime. But all kids are different as this thread shows so do what works for you!

My toddler would sleep the whole way, he loves his car seat. If you think he'll sleep I'd go for it.

This. Set off at 7pm with your toddler in their pyjamas. Stories/audiobooks in the car to keep them occupied until they fall asleep. Arrive somewhere at midnight/1am, one person checks in, then once you have the room open other parent carries sleeping child into bed. Get up the next morning, have breakfast, do another 4 hours.

We still do this on car trips over 5 hours for DS, and he is 6. Just more civilised.

It wouldn't faze us. We've made similar journeys over the years and it's vastly more tolerable for us than travelling during the day when the kids are awake and bored and car sick and hungry and needing the loo 🤯 Also means you can eat snacks without having to share with them 🤣

DH and I share the driving. I can never nap (unless I'm already shattered - I couldn't do a tactical nap) but with your journey timings DH would probably have a nap for a couple of hours before we left, then I'd drive about halfway while he slept in the passenger seat, then we'd swap and I'd sleep until we arrive. We'd probably just power through the next day and get everyone into bed early the next night.

I would get a pull down window shade or similar - our only issue doing night drives at that age was car lights/street lights waking them and then it was carnage.

We’ve done this and it’s been fine. Children did wake at service station stops but went back to sleep again once on the road.