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AIBU?

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Original poster

Chimney and Neighbour

54 replies

scorpiogirly · 03/05/2023 11:15

Hi all,

Posting here for advice.

Background, which I am not sure is relevant. Have lived here all my life. NDN was already here. I inherited the house from my mother who passed in 2013. Now live here alone with 4yo daughter.

Have always gotten on with neighbour. There was an issue when I was installing a fence but that's another post.

Anyway, I was outside last weekend mowing the garden. NDN came out and told me she had some bad news. Apparently the wall paper in one of her bedrooms is coming away from the wall. A 'friend' of her son has told her that the chimney (which we share) needs to come down completely and it's going to cost about £2k and in her words exactly, 'you're going to have to pay half'.

I told her that I would look into it. She asked if I had a gas fire, to which I replied yes. She has an electric one. So I said that the chimney is needed basically for the gas fire.

I carried on with the garden and she went inside. Less than 10 mins later, she came back out and said that she had just spoken to her son on the phone and that he said it's fine and I could just have a flue installed to accommodate the gas fire. She said it has to come down as it's all 'that black mortar'. Well of course it is considering that's what the house was build with.

Again I said I'd rather a repair and would look into it. She said to let her know.

A quick google told me a few things, one that having a chimney taken out can cause damp.

I have been avoiding her as much as possible as I don't know what to say. I absolutely hate confrontation of any kind.

I do not want my chimney taken down. But where do I go from here? I am worried about the damp issue. I don't have 1k to spend on that when I am not experiencing issues although would be happy to pay half on a repair? I am even needing to do that? For all I know the issue could be with her roof. The chimney is not falling apart. It seems pretty stable.

Also I am concerned that the house will look odd without a chimney. Will it affect the resale value? And obviously the cost to install a flue to use my gas fire will be extra cost and will be coming out of my pocket.

Any advise greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
LittleMG · 03/05/2023 11:20

Don’t get rid of your chimney get someone in to look who isn’t her son!

NowItsSpring · 03/05/2023 11:31

LittleMG · 03/05/2023 11:20

Don’t get rid of your chimney get someone in to look who isn’t her son!

This

Tomnooktoldmeto · 03/05/2023 11:47

You need someone who isn’t related to your neighbour and knows what they’re talking about to carry out an inspection of the chimney

legally she cannot remove the chimney without your agreement as it is shared, don’t let her bully you, get someone to give you support in discussions if possible

Nordicrain · 03/05/2023 11:50

Get a trades person out to have a look and give you options on how to resolve any issues he finds. Take them to your neighbour.

Original poster
scorpiogirly · 03/05/2023 11:51

Thanks all. I don't really have any support. I feel anxious that she's going to accost me when I'm coming and going on the school run.

What do I do to appease her while I'm doing this? It's sad but I need to peg out washing and think she's going to come out. Do I tell her that someone is coming to have a look next week possibly and they make an appointment? Do I contact a roofer?

I am honestly clueless with these things.

OP posts:
YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 03/05/2023 11:55

Just tell her you’re going to get someone in to look at it and will be making an appointment asap. Make the appointment with a chimney sweep in the first instance.

EatsYummySprouts · 03/05/2023 11:56

Hi, I had that and a bit of damp ceiling. There was a small gutter thing at the base, of the chimney and the rain water was running the wrong way, I got it repaired. I would look into getting a roofer to check into repairing it.

Fladdermus · 03/05/2023 11:56

What does she say is the actual problem with the chimney?

EsmeSusanOgg · 03/05/2023 11:57

LittleMG · 03/05/2023 11:20

Don’t get rid of your chimney get someone in to look who isn’t her son!

Yes. Someone qualified.

Daftasabroom · 03/05/2023 11:57

It will be a whole load cheaper to repoint and replace the flashing that take down the whole chimney. Either a roofer or sweep would advise.

Helenahandkart · 03/05/2023 12:07

It could be a fairly minor problem like the flashing around the chimney where it meets the roof.
Either a chimney sweep or a roofer can look at it and assess it for you. Try to get two or three opinions.
Just tell her that you are going to get a professional to look at it. No one should be undertaking major structural work without a couple of opinions, and it sounds like she’s basing all of this on something her (unqualified?) son’s friend has said, so she would be foolish to proceed without further investigation.
If she tries to railroad you then she’s an idiot.

MmaRra · 03/05/2023 12:11

I would report your thread to MNHQ and ask for it to be moved to the Property/DIY topic, @scorpiogirly - but don't agree to anything until you've had a trusted, recommended local builder look at it.

Eggseggseverywhere · 03/05/2023 12:17

Suggest you both have your buildings insurers look at it. Bet she stfu...

IClaudine · 03/05/2023 12:20

OP if you have black mortar it is very likely salts that are causing her wallpaper to come away etc. Hang on will find a proper source of info!

Campervangirl · 03/05/2023 12:21

You need @PigletJohn

DogInATent · 03/05/2023 12:27

Definitely contact a builder/roofer. If it's a shared chimney they can't do anything without your agreement, but equally you can't ignore the problem. It's very unlikely that it will require the chimney to come down.

Greentree1 · 03/05/2023 12:39

As someone else said above I would contact your house insurance they would probably send someone out to inspect, also find out if any work would be covered by your insurance. They should also be able to advise on someone to come and inspect, if they don't want to.

If she pesters say you are contacting your house insurers for advise, if she's playing games that may scare her off.

DogInATent · 03/05/2023 12:45

Who gets their insurance involved for a normal bit of building maintenance?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/05/2023 12:54

Is this 'friend' of her son proposing to do the work himself? Presumably he is (or claims to be) a professional tradesman if he instantly knows what the problem is and how much the cost will be. Might he be trying to scam her and, indirectly, you as well?

It sounds very odd that the whole chimney would need to come down just to solve a (potential) damp problem. Very sledgehammer-to-crack-a-nut. You don't hear of houses with damp usually needing to be completely knocked down, do you?

Eggseggseverywhere · 03/05/2023 13:28

Building work op is disputing.. Of course get an outside body involved. Not the ds of the ndn. Imagine he decides to do it himself.... And causes untold damages. To the chimney or himself! Likely op will be liable! Sounds suspicious imo anyway..

endofthelinefinally · 03/05/2023 13:32

Speak to your insurers and explain that your neighbour is saying that you have caused damage to her house. They will send a surveyor out. This is what you pay for, in case a neighbour makes a claim on you, which is exactly what she is doing by telling you to pay half the cost of repairs.
Don't sign or agree to anything.
Tell her your insurers will inspect the "damage".
If any work needs doing it should be done by a properly qualified and insured professional.

endofthelinefinally · 03/05/2023 13:34

DogInATent · 03/05/2023 12:45

Who gets their insurance involved for a normal bit of building maintenance?

Someone whose neighbour wants them to pay for possibly unnecessary work to be done by said neighbour's son and his mate.

MintJulia · 03/05/2023 13:36

Daftasabroom · 03/05/2023 11:57

It will be a whole load cheaper to repoint and replace the flashing that take down the whole chimney. Either a roofer or sweep would advise.

This. Ask a builder or roofer to check the pointing and lead flashing around the chimney. They will usually inspect either up a ladder or using binoculars/ drone camera. Ideally they will show you the areas that are problematic, and explain exactly what needs doing, then give you a quote which you can share with your neighbour.

If your house is old, it is possible that one or both need redoing, but will be a lot less expensive than removing a chimney.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/05/2023 13:37

It will be interesting if the neighbour/her son/her son's friend are just as eager that the work needs to be done if they realise that the job (and money) - if indeed needed - would be going to a tradie who is a stranger to them.