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Original poster

To find this colleague a bit annoying

246 replies

halfacupofjuice · 02/05/2023 23:15

Hello everyone,

I have been working at a particular company for a number of years and over the years things have changed but mostly have stayed the same. We have recently recruited a new person temporarily, as our previous colleague is off long term sick but will be back soon, but we are all finding her a bit... much...and I don't know if I should discuss this with her ( of course in a diplomatic way). Here are the reasons:

  1. She comes across that she doesn't know much about our field, but when you speak to her and talk about certain practices and policies, she knows ALOT but tends to die this down but only brings up her knowledge when I challenge her about her practice. The reason why I'm saying this is because I can tell that she is a keen learner but has been using some of her working days to go on training (to be far- only two) but she has just started with us. Also, she has recently asked the company to pay for a course that she would like to attend, we of course declined as we don't pay for trainings for temporary staff and plus there are a number of us in the office who are very specialist and have worked in the role for many of years with who she can seek advice and support from, so it's not an efficient way of using resources.
  1. In our company, we have been doing the same things, pretty much, for many years and then she comes in and has begun to ask us whether she can change some of our practices when working with clients.

3.She has only worked for a company for a month, but already she is speaking to similar companies to try and increase our own resources. This is amazing for our company, but I am finding her a bit much.

What should I do? Some of the colleagues feel that she is a bit much and should just take a seat back. How can I advise my new colleague?

OP posts:
chipswitheveryting · 03/05/2023 09:40

Offensiveapprently · 02/05/2023 23:23

She sounds like she is progressive and thoughtful and is doing things for the benefit of your company. I feel you are threatened and are being a bit mean.

This

Nordicrain · 03/05/2023 09:42

halfacupofjuice · 02/05/2023 23:21

@Mangotango39

I can understand how that can come across. But there is nothing wrong with the way we run things currently and it has worked for the team, and the company, for many years.

😂

I hope this woman leaves. You say she's really clever and experienced and she is offering up ideas to improve your company and you call her annoying. You don't deserve her in your team.

IchVersteheNicht · 03/05/2023 09:57

You're her line manager, but you don't know what the job ad entailed for someone being recruited for YOU to directly manage?

Sounds like a bit of a shit company and she's too good for you all.

Bellaboo01 · 03/05/2023 09:58

halfacupofjuice · 02/05/2023 23:15

Hello everyone,

I have been working at a particular company for a number of years and over the years things have changed but mostly have stayed the same. We have recently recruited a new person temporarily, as our previous colleague is off long term sick but will be back soon, but we are all finding her a bit... much...and I don't know if I should discuss this with her ( of course in a diplomatic way). Here are the reasons:

  1. She comes across that she doesn't know much about our field, but when you speak to her and talk about certain practices and policies, she knows ALOT but tends to die this down but only brings up her knowledge when I challenge her about her practice. The reason why I'm saying this is because I can tell that she is a keen learner but has been using some of her working days to go on training (to be far- only two) but she has just started with us. Also, she has recently asked the company to pay for a course that she would like to attend, we of course declined as we don't pay for trainings for temporary staff and plus there are a number of us in the office who are very specialist and have worked in the role for many of years with who she can seek advice and support from, so it's not an efficient way of using resources.
  1. In our company, we have been doing the same things, pretty much, for many years and then she comes in and has begun to ask us whether she can change some of our practices when working with clients.

3.She has only worked for a company for a month, but already she is speaking to similar companies to try and increase our own resources. This is amazing for our company, but I am finding her a bit much.

What should I do? Some of the colleagues feel that she is a bit much and should just take a seat back. How can I advise my new colleague?

Sounds like you aren't being very nice to her tbh.

STLLAP08 · 03/05/2023 10:04

She sounds keen and progressive.
You sound threatened

CeeceeBloomingdale · 03/05/2023 10:12

So you obviously don’t like her but she’s not doing anything wrong, quite the opposite. You’re being defensive as presume you feel threatened. You need to do your job and not let personal feelings come into it. Be open to ideas. Also be nice to her, sounds like she could be your manager in the future.

TheMoops · 03/05/2023 10:20

No. I don't think she's the managerial type. She's only been working in the field for the past three years. I have been working in the field for the past 20 years! So no, I'm not worried at all 😂

I hate to break it to you but 'time served' doesn't automatically make you a great leader/manager or at the cutting edge of practice.

broadbeanquiche · 03/05/2023 10:36

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 08:37

No. I don't think she's the managerial type. She's only been working in the field for the past three years. I have been working in the field for the past 20 years! So no, I'm not worried at all 😂

Show quote history

I would be worried. It's not always the case that whoever is there longest ends up climbing the ladder fastest

Womencanlift · 03/05/2023 11:00

You have a very outdated view OP.

I have worked in leadership development and change for nearly 15 years and can say pretty confidently that attitudes like yours and your team will not result in a successful company long term

Good luck to your colleague. I would rather work with someone like her any day of the week

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 03/05/2023 11:39

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 08:37

No. I don't think she's the managerial type. She's only been working in the field for the past three years. I have been working in the field for the past 20 years! So no, I'm not worried at all 😂

Show quote history

Is time served all you've got?

Bellaboo01 · 03/05/2023 11:40

CeeceeBloomingdale · 03/05/2023 10:12

So you obviously don’t like her but she’s not doing anything wrong, quite the opposite. You’re being defensive as presume you feel threatened. You need to do your job and not let personal feelings come into it. Be open to ideas. Also be nice to her, sounds like she could be your manager in the future.

This :)

Greycloudlooming · 03/05/2023 11:49

halfacupofjuice · 02/05/2023 23:41

My point about the trainings is that there is no need fit her to go on them as she knows ALOT- more than she lets on and probably dies it down because she wants up to pay for the trainings.

You sound threatened.
She sounds productive and forward thinking with fresh eyes and new ideas that could significantly improve your company.

A lot is two words, by the way. You’d never say alittle. You’ve said ALOT … a lot! My point here is not to be pedantic to your spelling but to point out that you don’t know it all, someone with fresh eyes can see opportunity for improvement. You should listen to this “temps” ideas. They may be crap, but they may also be amazing. But eh, if she’s “just a temp” and a “bit much”, perhaps you’re better just sitting around slagging her off with your colleagues. Stagnant.

Shivermytimber · 03/05/2023 15:14

I worked in a company like this. I have big energy ( ADHD)but it means I learn fast, I can adapt and I can see problems before others even think of them.
I lasted 9 months. In that time I achieved on my own what it would have taken a whole team to do, I went above and beyond but I could see my manager found this difficult. One day we talked about it as I found it heartbreaking that I was upsetting her, it wasnt my intention,but I wanted the best outcome for my project. I dumbed myself down a little to seem less of a threat.She admitted to me she knew it was her problem and felt threatened ( my respect for her went up after that)and we then worked as a brilliant team however the rest of the team could not get on board with this. I knew they were bitching about me behind my back ( your colleague will know too)In the end the bitching got too much and I left. That boss was probably one of the best I’d ever worked for as she embraced her weakness and turned it into a positive. Perhaps OP you an see yourself and your team in this story.

5128gap · 03/05/2023 15:23

As a line manager its your role to ensure you get the best out of each employee you manage for the benefit of the company.
Part of this is listening to their suggestions with am open mind in the event they can make improvements. Having always done something one way doesn't mean there's not a better one.
If this person is popping up randomly with suggestions and getting the teams backs up, you should invite her to save her ideas and share them with you in her supervision, tell her that you will consider them and allow changes you feel are beneficial. However she is to change no procedure without your agreement as its important the team work consistently.
Her request for training seems a non issue. She asked, you refused, giving your reasons.

Leftoverssandwich · 03/05/2023 15:36

I know of the network that she's talking about but I was not aware that they also had a fee membership. To be honest, I'm not very into the tech savy world. When I go to work, it work, and when I go home, it's back to family duties and ME time.

This did jump out at me earlier but didn’t have time to respond. She’s clearly in a different place to you - keen to go above and beyond to access a network whereas you are very much in the groove of your day job and clearly not keen to innovate. I’d love a member of my team who did this, even if I didn’t have time to do it myself. If she’s paying to belong, she is clearly really motivated to develop professionally. Good for her.

As a manager who is getting on a bit I am occasionally taken aback by the energy that newer staff demonstrate around building their careers. But it’s a good thing. Sometimes it can take a little directing or harnessing but it’s so very valuable to have.

NeatCompactSleeper · 03/05/2023 17:25

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 08:37

No. I don't think she's the managerial type. She's only been working in the field for the past three years. I have been working in the field for the past 20 years! So no, I'm not worried at all 😂

Show quote history

The way you're describing yourself, your colleagues and the company makes you all sound like dinosaurs.

What makes you think she's not the managerial type? Confused

ChrisPPancake · 03/05/2023 18:59

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 08:29

That's a good one!! Thank you! I have a supervision meeting with her next week- so I will definitely relay this to her.

About the training, I had already told her what most of you have suggested that we don't pay for trainings for temp staff members, she replied this morning stating 'That's fine. I will be more than happy to fund this myself. But will it be ok if I used one of my working days to attend the the training as it falls on my working day....' Confused

Show quote history

If she's part time and you're able to facilitate a change in day for her then you can tell her she's welcome to book her training (on her own dime) but will need to be in the office X day instead.

Original poster
halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 19:40

I've read most of these comments and I believe that most pp's are not really understanding my point of view. Regarding the courses, there is no need for her to attend, it's like she constantly fishes for information or an excuse to go on a course. For example, like today, she asked me whether I could recommend a book to help her learn more about X, I told her to read notes from what she learnt at uni as what would have provided her resource materials.

I agree that as a company we need to look into ways to change. But what she is telling us is not new and besides, things don't need much changing, it's better to keep and improve the way things are now instead of implementing new things..

OP posts:
TheMoops · 03/05/2023 19:42

I told her to read notes from what she learnt at uni as what would have provided her resource materials.

What a rude response!

Brefugee · 03/05/2023 19:42

I work in Change Management. Your team is stuck in a rut - we'd really be working on you

Comfortingpigeon · 03/05/2023 19:42

Wow...she asked your advice and you told her to read her uni notes?

This can't be real.

Confusion101 · 03/05/2023 19:43

So

Confusion101 · 03/05/2023 19:45

Posted too soon....

So in your latest example regarding her wanting "extra training" she asked for a book recommendation...... Your response was beyond rude!! And you wonder why she isn't coming to you for training and questions.... Ffs this can't be real!

bookwormcrazy · 03/05/2023 19:49

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 19:40

I've read most of these comments and I believe that most pp's are not really understanding my point of view. Regarding the courses, there is no need for her to attend, it's like she constantly fishes for information or an excuse to go on a course. For example, like today, she asked me whether I could recommend a book to help her learn more about X, I told her to read notes from what she learnt at uni as what would have provided her resource materials.

I agree that as a company we need to look into ways to change. But what she is telling us is not new and besides, things don't need much changing, it's better to keep and improve the way things are now instead of implementing new things..

Do you realise how this makes you sound?

She came to you asking for advise on how to increase her knowledge (of which you state you have 20 years of experience) and you referred her back to her uni training! I really think you need to self reflect rather than questioning her actions.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 03/05/2023 19:53

halfacupofjuice · 03/05/2023 19:40

I've read most of these comments and I believe that most pp's are not really understanding my point of view. Regarding the courses, there is no need for her to attend, it's like she constantly fishes for information or an excuse to go on a course. For example, like today, she asked me whether I could recommend a book to help her learn more about X, I told her to read notes from what she learnt at uni as what would have provided her resource materials.

I agree that as a company we need to look into ways to change. But what she is telling us is not new and besides, things don't need much changing, it's better to keep and improve the way things are now instead of implementing new things..

it's like she constantly fishes for information or an excuse to go on a course. For example, like today, she asked me whether I could recommend a book to help her learn more about X, I told her to read notes from what she learnt at uni as what would have provided her resource materials.

And you think this will make us think better of you, your management and your workplace culture?