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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that there would be less anti private school

705 replies

Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 07:36

sentiment or threads on MN if people using private school were a tiny bit more self aware and didn’t ask for sympathy for rising fees or possible rising fees if Labour take away their false ‘charity’ status?

send your kid private if you want, just don’t come moaning about the costs or claim than anyone can go private if they ‘prioritise’ their child’s education they way you do. Particularly at a time when state school teachers are striking over pay and conditions.
And many, many people are working their socks off just to keep a roof over their family’s head.

YANBU - stop whining and looking for sympathy about your fees!

YABU - my milkman sends his 4 kids private by ‘prioritising’ their education so it’s not just for whiny poshos….

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Endlesssummer2022 · 02/05/2023 15:27

Dobby123456 · 02/05/2023 15:18

And ....

'You send your children to private school? What about the poor, starving children? Don't you ever think about them?'

Show quote history

‘What about the poor, starving children? Don't you ever think about them?'

Usually said by someone who bought a house worth £££ next door to the best school in the borough with help from bank of mum and dad to swerve the poor and starving and has their kids in extra curricular activities every evening.

Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:31

'TBH I don’t care what anyone thinks about that. I don’t moan about fees either - they always go up every year anyway, and everything is going up.'

This is the kind of private schooling parent I like - don't give a bugger what anyone thinks - which TBH is all I've ever met but also not complaining about the cost either. Schools know these parents are terrified at the prospect of their kids having to go to normal schools, so they can hike the cost up knowing tthe fees will be paid.

OP posts:
Dobby123456 · 02/05/2023 15:44

Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:18

'Surely there's absolutely no need to even open a thread about private school fee increases if you don't have a child in private education?'

I work in education, with all types of schools. So I do have a genuine interest, but even if I didn't I do still get to have an opinion. I have friends who talk about this subject, colleagues who do, and goodness knows there are plenty of threads on MN started by all sorts of people with all sorts of opinions on the rising costs of private schooling.

If you don't want to read a thread about private education, then don't. Skip it. Move on. Don't comment. Easy.

I'm kind of shocked to discover that you work in education. Your 'nah, nah, nah, nah, nah' style posts made me assume you just aren't that well educated. Please tell me you are not a teacher!

Dobby123456 · 02/05/2023 15:47

Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:31

'TBH I don’t care what anyone thinks about that. I don’t moan about fees either - they always go up every year anyway, and everything is going up.'

This is the kind of private schooling parent I like - don't give a bugger what anyone thinks - which TBH is all I've ever met but also not complaining about the cost either. Schools know these parents are terrified at the prospect of their kids having to go to normal schools, so they can hike the cost up knowing tthe fees will be paid.

Of course people aren't going to start complaining about the cost of private school to people who don't send their kids there! But people are worried, and if they can't voice this in an anonymous forum, where can they?

Barbadossunset · 02/05/2023 15:49

Op I would also be interested to know what aspect of education you work in which involves all types of schools.

Dobby123456 · 02/05/2023 15:52

DIYandEatCake · 02/05/2023 14:21

I’m not asking for sympathy, and avoid talking about it in real life for the very reasons you mention - but I am worried about the prospect of fees going up further as we would genuinely be struggling. I always thought I was morally opposed to private education, until I had my daughter who is autistic and massively struggled in (state) junior school. She wouldn’t cope with the state secondaries near us - she is however now really thriving at a small, nurturing private school. We are not unusually high earners - the school fees take a quarter of our combined income, and we both work hard. We’ve paid off the mortgage which helps, but that’s down to sheer hard work and living frugally. It really annoyed me when a school mum who lives down the road got snarky with me and said ‘it’s alright for some, I wish we could afford private school’ - having just bought a massive new house worth 3 times our small house, and running two very fancy cars. Sometimes it is priorities - out of necessity. If we couldn’t afford private school, I’m pretty certain my daughter would end up being home educated, which would mean I’d have to quit work and we’d probably end up relying on benefits. We’re lucky, yes, but it’s not always black and white. Labour should focus on really raising the quality of state education, and on far better special needs provision, before attaching the private sector.

I'm so glad it worked out for your daughter. It's so encouraging to hear of big turn arounds like this.

Also, good for society, as people who are unable to cope with work because they didn't get the support they needed earlier for a special needs condition end up costing the state at some point.

Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:54

still 70/30 on the voting so I'm not the only one...

OP posts:
Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:55

By all types of schools I mean mostly secondaries but across state, independent, church maintained etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 15:57

'Please tell me you are not a teacher!' No. god no. I value my sanity too much plus need to make an actual living rather than get paid poorly for one of the toughest job going...

OP posts:
Endlesssummer2022 · 02/05/2023 15:58

Barbadossunset · 02/05/2023 15:49

Op I would also be interested to know what aspect of education you work in which involves all types of schools.

Researcher in Shadow education secretary’s dept canvassing to see what ‘Stevenage woman’ and ‘Workington man’ thinks or trying to influence opinion of ‘Mumsnet woman’.

Dobby123456 · 02/05/2023 16:04

Endlesssummer2022 · 02/05/2023 15:58

Researcher in Shadow education secretary’s dept canvassing to see what ‘Stevenage woman’ and ‘Workington man’ thinks or trying to influence opinion of ‘Mumsnet woman’.

Show quote history

😂

Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 16:12

Schools are a huge business, yes even state ones. Curriculum needs writing, Ed tech developed, staff trained, equipment provided, books & programmes created and published, finances managed, and that's before you reach the politics, local government and councils.

If you really can't think of what kind of role might entail working across schools, then that's down to a lack of imagination I suppose.

OP posts:
Intergalacticcatharsis · 02/05/2023 16:27

Of course it is another stealth tax … it always is. But I think this one is aimed at the bank of “granny and grandpa”..

and Keir isn’t a proper leftie anyway. He is full on centrist. It is another policy to appease the further left.
I am not going to get on board with it unless Labour offer to pay the extra for all the SEN children it affects. And no, I have no personal interest in this whatsoever!

threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:28

OP, could you please declare what people are and are not allowed to post about on MN?

I propose that people should be means tested before they are allowed to post on AIBU. We only want people like YOU OP and who can afford the things you can afford. NO MORE.

threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:33

If I wanted to moan that the price of private dentistry has shot up, would that be allowed? Or should I 'read the room.'

I once saw somebody mention something about her back garden and she was told to guess what.... READ THE ROOM. This is because some people do not have gardens.

The room we have to read is getting more peculiar by the day.

threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:38

"I value my sanity too much plus need to make an actual living rather than get paid poorly for one of the toughest job going..."

Oh my god OP, will you not read the room? Many people support whole families on teacher's salaries. I, for one, am tired about people who do not 'read the room', 'check their privilege' and who 'stealth boast.' You may not complain on here OP. Will nobody think of the teachers???

Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 16:39

Moan away, just don't expect sympathy that schools fees are getting more expensive.

OP posts:
threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:40

The only one moaning is you OP!

threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:43

"If you really can't think of what kind of role might entail working across schools, then that's down to a lack of imagination I suppose."

Nit inspector?

Original poster
Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 16:45

' Many people support whole families on teacher's salaries.'

Which is why we need to 100% get behind the teacher's strikes - even private school parents must be aware of the strikes -and make sure they're paid for the amazing jobs they do.

And for god sake, stop voting Tory. They're starving our schools of money and resources in the name of 'austerity' while their kids go to 'independent' schools with charity status stuffed full of rich kids

OP posts:
threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:49

' even private school parents must be aware of the strikes'

No we don't have TV. Just poetry recitals of an evening.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 02/05/2023 16:54

threemiaowingfaces · 02/05/2023 16:49

' even private school parents must be aware of the strikes'

No we don't have TV. Just poetry recitals of an evening.

🤣

purpleboy · 02/05/2023 16:54

I have 1 dc in private, the other has just left.
Our fees have stayed the same for the past 2 years because of Covid, they have gone up for newcomers though.
I'm not delighted at the thought of the increase, but it is what it is, we can luckily swallow the cost, there is no way I'm sending mine to the local schools for quite a few reasons, I will do whatever I need to to ensure my dc can have the best education for them, and that will not be state.
It's not about the outcome, I doubt youngest will be a high achiever, but she is thriving in the smaller classes and can focus on sport, music, art and drama which is where her passion is. She is happy and not bullied. She enjoys school and is encouraged by the teachers. Couldn't ask for more really and to me it's worth every penny.

CurlewKate · 02/05/2023 16:55

@SoupDragon "it's tedious as fuck with the same tired out things being said over and over again."

Allow me to introduce you to Mumsnet....

Changetherecord1 · 02/05/2023 17:01

Poopoolittlekitten · 02/05/2023 08:38

'You just sound bitter and jealous to be honest.'

I'm not. I don't want my children to go to an elitist school, I don't think they're worth the money, and not the better option either. I'm basing that on my experience in education. I don't think buying results is good longterm for children, so I wouldn't choose it for mine.

My choice. But I'm not complaining that people are judging my choices out of 'jealousy'.
You do you. Just don't get all huffy when others don't feel sympathy for fees rising or dodgy tax breaks being removed.

You don't think your children are worth the money ? 😂