15 free hours (punished for not having a partner?)

[glossypeach]

Title is a bit weird but let me continue. I’m disabled and unable to work at the moment, I’m also a single parent to a three year old. He is eligible for the 15 hours free childcare because I’m currently not working. But if my circumstances changed and I got a partner who worked, I would be eligible for him to have the 30 hours free childcare. But the only thing that would change would be having a partner. I’d still be disabled, id still be unable to work but because I’d have a partner my child would be allowed to have that extra time in nursery. It feels like I’m being punished for choosing to remain single, and a bit discriminating that I’m unable to work at the moment but because I cannot do that, my child is missing out. My child is very active and although I have a good support network to help him get out when my disability disabled me to, he thrives at nursery - so I cannot see how single disabled people don’t get that 30 free hour funding also??

Incorrect. You only get 30 free hours of you're both working. Even if you had a partner who worked you still wouldn't be eligible.

OP had significantly said she had significant physical disabilities which cause her a lot of pain.
We hear a lot about how hard it is to access pip if you’re not able to show ‘significantly’ affected. Many people with ASD are not independent at all, so their PIP goes towards day care, respite, etc etc

• OP has said…

But no-one gets it just for being on disability benefits.

If you are not currently workingYou may still be eligible if your partner is working, and you get Incapacity Benefit, Severe Disablement Allowance, Carer’s Allowance, Limited Capability for Work Benefit or contribution-based Employment and Support Allowance.
You can apply if you’re starting or re-starting work within the next 31 days.

It's a may, and if starting work
It's not an automatic situation

You can add medical care to the list of services provided by the state.

But then this is significant for most of these threads.

In the same way that an OP will always say that their ex was abusive and they had contraception fail so they played no part in bringing a child into the world that they were unable to fully look after so don't ask questions.

It's the same as they can't do x, y or z that could potentially make things better for them.

And I get that this is the case for some people but on MN it's literally always this statistically unlikely combination of many things - failed contraception, abusive ex
who won't contribute, unexpected sudden disability, can't work, can't exercise or get out for a walk, can't get NHS appts or diagnosis, can't change diet, can't get help from social services, can't do x, y and z.

So then in essence, these threads are pointless because it's a 'yeah but no- ' situation.

Yes that too.

It’s pretty difficult to read as someone with both parents working, in receipt of no benefits, paying through the nose for childcare and subsidising all of this and feel empathy.

I am glad we have a benefits system but really some people want the moon on a stick.

There does seem to be a strange lack of acknowledgement in what society does to support somebody, it’s all about what they feel they’re not getting.

If somebody in OP’s situation did get the 30 free hours, then it would be ‘why aren’t they getting transport to nursery free?’. Then if they got the transport it would be ‘why aren’t they getting the food/nappies for free?’. And so on - there doesn’t seem to be any kind of limit on what is an ‘acceptable’ level of support given we literally cannot finance everything every individual wants. The expectations just increase and increase.

The only people who aren’t allowed to ask for things or moan about their situation however are people who work full time with crippling nursery fees. We are just expected to get on with it, and if we dare complain we get told we’re lucky we are able to work. When we’re exhausted and the reward is basically non existent.

Yes and frankly I’d like to see more of my kids. But hey ho. I’ll keep busting a nut to take the pressure from others.

What people fail to acknowledge is that to get spending for nothing somebody else is doing something and receiving nothing in return. That’s how it works - take with one hand and give with another. There’s no magic money tree.

I see it time and time again in my job. The more people get, the more they want. they seem to think there is a magic money tree to provide it all.

Wouldn't you rather have your health though and be able to work? Sure OP would too.

Can you spend your PIP on extra help with childcare.

And ask your social Worker about support

you are incorrect.

Jeeze listen to yourself. OP would love to not be claiming the benefits and be able to run around with her child. Are you really envying her benefits?

Support for parents with disabilities

To arrange the support you may need as a parent with disabilities, contact the adult social services team in your local Health and Social Care Trust. This is a different team to the 'children and families team'.

OP - please ignore the unhelpful stream of criticism, when all you want is for your child to have opportunities at nursery. Please take the advice to talk to your health visitor and ask them to help you secure more funding for your child's hours, there are extra resources for those who need extra help as I linked to back on page 4.

The system isn't perfect. The universal 15hr funded is for all 3+yo and for 2yo with a golden ticket offer. This is for early years education, not childcare. The additional 15hrs for those eligible is to allow families to work.

For 3/4 yo 15hrs is plenty to allow them to socialise, learn and become school ready. They don't need more hours for themselves. The extra hours offered are for the adults.

If I didn’t have my health and wasn’t able to work would I be complaining that those funding my ability not to work, through their economic activity, receive more funded childcare which enables/supports them in working and funds me and my daughters existence.

Fixed the question for you.

Its no wonder that disability benefits have been attacked in the way they have given the attitudes of some on here.

Its amazing. It really is.

No. I said upthread I’m glad we have the benefit system. But OP is already being supported in a huge way so to moan about the 15 additional funded hours she’s not getting because she’s not working is futile.

I'm sorry you're getting such a hard time here, OP. For what it's worth I think disabled single parents should get 30 hours free childcare, it's tough enough as it is!

You may be entitled to additional hours through early help. Additionally hours can be given to vulnerable families.

Being envious of a disabled poster really is something else.

I don't see why she shouldn't be entitled to more if she is unable to fully support the needs of her child.