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AIBU?

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Original poster

15 free hours (punished for not having a partner?)

245 replies

glossypeach · 01/05/2023 13:33

Title is a bit weird but let me continue. I’m disabled and unable to work at the moment, I’m also a single parent to a three year old. He is eligible for the 15 hours free childcare because I’m currently not working. But if my circumstances changed and I got a partner who worked, I would be eligible for him to have the 30 hours free childcare. But the only thing that would change would be having a partner. I’d still be disabled, id still be unable to work but because I’d have a partner my child would be allowed to have that extra time in nursery. It feels like I’m being punished for choosing to remain single, and a bit discriminating that I’m unable to work at the moment but because I cannot do that, my child is missing out. My child is very active and although I have a good support network to help him get out when my disability disabled me to, he thrives at nursery - so I cannot see how single disabled people don’t get that 30 free hour funding also??

OP posts:
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berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:12

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Crunchymum · 01/05/2023 14:13

morelippy · 01/05/2023 13:50

Why do you need more childcare? Free or otherwise

Depending on the nature of the OPs disability then it could probably be more beneficial to the child to be at nursery.

I know when I first became poorly (and subsequently diagnosed with an autoimmune arthritis that is currently well controlled) I couldn't walk. Thankfully mine were older so at school and I had the support of MIL but for 6 months I was off my feet. There is no way my kids would have benefitted being at home with me.

TomatoSandwiches · 01/05/2023 14:14

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Entirely unnecessary and none of your business.

ReadersD1gest · 01/05/2023 14:14

glossypeach · 01/05/2023 14:05

Thank you all for your replies and opinions. I’m not meaning to be nasty and and I’m completely grateful for the help and support that I have to assist me and my child as I’m not working - so I don’t want people to think that I’m not. I was under the impression that if I had a partner who worked, because I’m disabled and am on the correct benefits that my child would eligible for the 30 hours, as being disabled is a reason to not be in work.

secondly, for those who are stating why do I need the 30 hours for my child when I’m not working. I’m physically disabled and am in intense pain all day every day. My child is incredibly active and loves nursery and it gives him that freedom to be able to do things that I can’t do with him every day and it gives me a bit of relief. It would be beneficial for the both of us for him to have that little bit of extra time at nursery.

i understand peoples point of views, and thank you for giving your feedback.

Was this the case when you decided to have a child?

berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:15

TomatoSandwiches · 01/05/2023 14:14

Entirely unnecessary and none of your business.

Show quote history

Okay well I’m not sure the tax payer should be paying for more ‘free childcare’ when the child’s dad could pull his weight more

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/05/2023 14:15

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Judgemental much?

Crunchymum · 01/05/2023 14:15

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Fucking Hell.

Is there any need for such venom?

berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:16

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coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:17

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What is wrong with you?

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/05/2023 14:17

berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:15

Okay well I’m not sure the tax payer should be paying for more ‘free childcare’ when the child’s dad could pull his weight more

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Good luck with forcing absent fathers to parent.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:17

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Let's hope you never become disabled then Hmm

montessorinanny · 01/05/2023 14:17

Can I just start the conversation with the 15 hours you are getting are not free! They are funded. I am a childcare provider who offers funding for the families who attend my setting and I make a loss on every hour of funding I take. In regards to the 30 hour funding I have a single parent family that qualifies. You have to be working at least 16 hours a week at minimum wage in order to qualify it doesn't matter if you are disabled or not the 30hr funding is currently only for working families.

RedTulipsSpring · 01/05/2023 14:17

I feel punished for having a partner. If I was single I could be claiming alsorts.

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 01/05/2023 14:18

I was single the 30 hours because I was working. It's not because you don't have a partner.

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/05/2023 14:19

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Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Do you have a crystal ball and know exactly when illness is going to occur in your own life?

berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:19

Well hopefully life gets easier for OP once her child is at school then. Maybe the health visitor can signpost more help in the mean time

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/05/2023 14:20

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:17

Let's hope you never become disabled then Hmm

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The ignorance of some of these comments is astounding isn't it.

AbreathofFrenchair · 01/05/2023 14:20

glossypeach · 01/05/2023 13:33

Title is a bit weird but let me continue. I’m disabled and unable to work at the moment, I’m also a single parent to a three year old. He is eligible for the 15 hours free childcare because I’m currently not working. But if my circumstances changed and I got a partner who worked, I would be eligible for him to have the 30 hours free childcare. But the only thing that would change would be having a partner. I’d still be disabled, id still be unable to work but because I’d have a partner my child would be allowed to have that extra time in nursery. It feels like I’m being punished for choosing to remain single, and a bit discriminating that I’m unable to work at the moment but because I cannot do that, my child is missing out. My child is very active and although I have a good support network to help him get out when my disability disabled me to, he thrives at nursery - so I cannot see how single disabled people don’t get that 30 free hour funding also??

It's not free hours, they are (poorly) funded hours.

And you would both need to be working to claim it the 30 funded hours.

berksandbeyond · 01/05/2023 14:20

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/05/2023 14:17

Good luck with forcing absent fathers to parent.

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Doesn’t mention in the OP that he’s absent, just assuming as he’s not mentioned

Wheretostarteh · 01/05/2023 14:22

You wouldn’t get the 30 hours funded, as you don’t also work. It needs to be both parents working to achieve it.

BeerBot · 01/05/2023 14:22

You're not working, op. You don't need 30 hours of childcare because you're not working

This^
It's childcare to allow people to go to work!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:22

AbreathofFrenchair · 01/05/2023 14:20

It's not free hours, they are (poorly) funded hours.

And you would both need to be working to claim it the 30 funded hours.

Show quote history

The government website says you may be eligible for 30 hours if your partner works and you're in receipt of certain disability benefits.

It's not accurate to say OP would need to be in work too.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:23

Wheretostarteh · 01/05/2023 14:22

You wouldn’t get the 30 hours funded, as you don’t also work. It needs to be both parents working to achieve it.

Wrong.

OP would qualify for the 30 if her partner works as she's in receipt of certain disability benefits.

"If you are not currently working:
You may still be eligible if your partner is working, and you get Incapacity Benefit, Severe Disablement Allowance, Carer’s Allowance, Limited Capability for Work Benefit or contribution-based Employment and Support Allowance."

https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare

30 hours free childcare

Who is eligible for 30 hours free childcare and how you can get it.

https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare

Whisper23 · 01/05/2023 14:24

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Arsehole.

Original poster
glossypeach · 01/05/2023 14:24

I didn’t ask to come on here and be slated about my ‘choice’ to have a child in my circumstance. My child’s father was abusive and my birth control failed, hence me becoming a single parent. He has court ordered time with our child that he chooses not to have as often as he should, but that’s not on me to force him to become a decent parent.

I’m not sure why I’m being shamed for being unable to work and being on benefits? I worked as much as I could before my health declined - and even then I was struggling a lot but I pushed and pushed until I could no long work any longer. It is miserable being disabled and being unable to work - I’m not sure why people think I want to be in this position? I’m in a low point of my life with my physical health but if I get in a better position and am able to get back to work - then I will in an instant. That’s not hard to understand, that’s what the benefit system is there for - to help those when they’re down if/until they’re able to get back on their feet again. Like stated previously, im incredibly grateful for the support I do get.

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