To be sick to death of looking grubby within minutes of getting dressed?

[AngeloMysterioso]

I have a 3.5 year old and a 17 month old who basically use me as a human Kleenex. Every single day, I will get dressed and within a few minutes, I’ve got dribble, snot, smushed up food and god knows what else smeared on my clothes. Everything I wear is dirty almost as soon as I put it on. I have a tiny home and piles of laundry fucking everywhere, and nothing I wash can ever be worn more than once. I look and feel grubby all the time and it’s really starting to get me down.

This genuinely didn’t happen to me with young babies and toddlers.

Could you just have tissue boxes everywhere? And as soon as the three year old approaches, shove some tissues in their hand; they are old enough to learn?

How is it all getting on your clothes? Small kids are grubby but eg, feed them in a high chair and wipe their hands and face before they leave the table? Wipe their noses before they get to wipe them on you?

I used to keep a flannel in the kitchen and had baby wipes in every room, because otherwise everywhere was a sticky mess.

This might sound silly but in your case I would wear something like a hospital operating gown or waterproof poncho over my clothes. The overclothing can be taken off when you're not dealing with childcare.

My toddler loves to rub his face on me. I put a daggy jumper or dressing gown over my clothes until I'm ready to head out.

If it's not him with his mucky hands then it's my dogs and their muddy paws.

I also stopped buying white t shirts and wear a lot more black!

All meals and snacks in the high chair. Children with bibs on and hand and face wiped before they get down

Nope. I never had this. Maybe you need to adjust how you are feeding them, carrying them, how you are dealing with them. How you are letting them treat you! I don't consider this normal.

Friend uses a housecoat over her clothes before going out.

Same here. Are they running around eating or something? Are they wiped properly after eating? surely you notice the snot before it's wiped on you. I have a 5m old and sometimes have a bit of milk on my shoulder, but that's because she's carried. My older dc always ate in their high hair or seated. I know it's not easy to always have them seated but at their ages it's not safe for them to be walking around eating in Any case?

Well why are your kids running around with snotty noses, food on their hands and dirty faces? That’s the main thing really, you can’t really expect to have high standards for yourself and not your kids.
I clean my kids hands before they move away from their meal, and faces. I never let them have a gross snot trail so I don’t get it wiped on me.

Same. Just put on a black top to go out and DS (1 month) was sick down it just as we were heading out the door. Not only that, but I’m breastfeeding him and he regularly unlatches, so milk sprays all down my clothes leaving damp patches. DD(3) also wipes her nose on me (she gets told off but still does it now and then) or touches my clothes with sticky hands when she’s been eating/painting/playing with something messy.

Sigh. This too shall pass and when it does I’m spending a fuck ton of money on nice clothes.

You seriously think wearing a hospital gown in your own home is a more reasonable solution than just keeping your children clean and tidy?

Because noses run before you can wipe them, sometimes they reach out to touch you as they’re eating/drinking, if they’re weaning they regularly wave spoons around so globs of food go flying everywhere, because on a walk they can pick up a stick and try to ‘give’ it to you, smearing you with dirt in the process.

I don’t believe you have children if none of that sounds familiar!

Wrap around apron ?

OP ignore the bat shit replies about hospital gowns and magic noses that never run unless under the steady gaze of the parent.

OPs children are 17m and 3.5, there should be now throwing food or spoons at that age.

By 18m my DD knew when her nose was running and asked to have it wiped if she noticed it first.

I really don’t think it’s that hard to just keep on top of your children being clean.

I feel your pain op. I solve this by having plenty of cheap charity shop tshirts so I don't feel guilty putting them in clothing recycle once they get too stained. DS when home is often just in a nappy or clothes i don't mind getting wrecked. My toddler has an amazing ability to get me and him rotten in an amazingly short space of time.

By 18m my DD knew when her nose was running and asked to have it wiped if she noticed it first.

By that age she really should be wiping it herself. It’s not hard to teach your children to do this.

So sorry you’re feeling stressed about this. Could I suggest comfy but nice hoodies & joggers at home, that don’t need a lot of washing or ironing. ? One day you’ll miss the snot & the grubby hands, but for now enjoy those snotty / grubby hands & cuddles. X

They were wiping themselves by 18 months but I keep wipes and tissues out of reach so I have to get them.
It’s perfectly normal behaviour for a toddler lean to wipe their nose.
It’s just the same as potty training. They don’t want to be covered in poo or snot and the sooner you can help them become independent the better.

I really wish someone had warned me before becoming a parent how many personal boundaries would be crossed, again and again and again. I was prepared for the constant nature of parenting, but being used as a handkerchief (small person runs up and buries their nose in your front), dustbin (I am handed anything my DC don't want, crisp packets, half-chewed flapjacks, melting ice creams, the ends of bananas, brown pieces of apple... 😡), cloakroom (coats, shoes, cardigans etc. just lobbed in my direction) and just generally being jumped on and vomited on is my least favourite part of parenting.

Worse still, since having DC my DH started emulating some of these behaviours (not the nose-wiping, jumping or vomiting, thank goodness 😂) until I informed him that our relationship wouldn't last much longer if he too kept confusing me with the dustbin.

Or you could just invest in some good old fashioned aprons!!

They’re plenty old enough to be carrying their own tissues.

I joke obviously but your posts are like the ‘potty trained at 12 month’ ones - either there’s a little creative fiction and selective memory going on, or you’ve just decided to berate the poster for her kids being ‘behind’ so your parenting seems superior.

3 is generally the age when a child would stop what they’re doing to go and ask for a tissue in my experience, perhaps an older 2 year old in some cases.

@Goldbar agreed and it isn’t for lack of repeating ‘put your shoes on the rack’ again and again until I’m blue in the face. It’ll click eventually but they’re small children, it’ll take time. We are getting there - DD likes to get her little cloth and clean her table after lunch, and she tidies her toys away when asked, but she’s still a typical kid who if she’s engaged in an activity won’t actively leave it to ask me to wipe her nose.

The "clean" children who don't like their noses running or hands dirty or wet are the worst one ime! They're the ones that see you and make a beeline for you, rather than waiting to be wiped.

@Coffeeandbourbons . I can ask my DC to put their shoes on/on the rack 10 times before it clicks that I'm not just background noise.

At least now my 5yo is getting it, they'll actively tell off their daddy for leaving shit around the place 😂.

They have more patience than me... I've started to "disappear" items which aren't hung up or put away.