To be sick to death of looking grubby within minutes of getting dressed?

[AngeloMysterioso]

I have a 3.5 year old and a 17 month old who basically use me as a human Kleenex. Every single day, I will get dressed and within a few minutes, I’ve got dribble, snot, smushed up food and god knows what else smeared on my clothes. Everything I wear is dirty almost as soon as I put it on. I have a tiny home and piles of laundry fucking everywhere, and nothing I wash can ever be worn more than once. I look and feel grubby all the time and it’s really starting to get me down.

I know 🙄, I was reading the replies thinking I had entered an alternative reality 😂😂. So funny. I had the occasional snotty nose wiped in my leg, baby vomit, and lots of gatsro fluids when dc1 had reflux as a baby. It gets better OP.

I permanently have a muslin draped over my shoulder / in my coat pocket, they are 1 and 2. Regularly wash their hands with a warm soapy flannel. My 2 year old will wipe her own nose. X

I always wore a muslin over my shoulder. It kept me clean and mopped up loads

Buy a couple of home free flowing dresses and when you go out prepare baby towels

Jesus what a load of sanctimummy responses.

OP I'm the same, always has been with little ones in the house. Worst was always when I was getting ready to leave for work and I'd have a big smear of snot or weetabix on my dress, or I'd sit down in the kitchen and there was pink playdoh on the seat and I hadn't noticed... I bought an apron which I do wear when I'm trying to stay clean, so if I've put on some nice work clothes or having people for lunch later or whatever it might be. I absolutely feel your pain though.

There was a thread recently about someone who deliberately had almost no clothes for their kids except some hand-sewn smocks. When I said I couldn't have managed that because my children (especially toddler) get filthy constantly they said their children didn't. Maybe some are just mega clean naturally but mine do not fall into that category.

I had a large supply of clean facecloths; wet them and wipe hands and faces before the child leaves the high chair.. After one or two uses sling it in the WM.

From around 6m to 2 years, messy eaters wore a plastic bib with gutter tray; and were fed/ate strapped in to a standalone highchair with a fixed plastic tray; standing on a washable floor or plastic sheet. We had two high chairs in use at once for 2 kids. IKEA basic highchair is ideal. Mine came from (and retired to) charity shops. For many years during and after the highchair stage , our dining table permanently wore a washable plastic cover. (same again with GC) --useful for meals, crafts, gluing and paints etc.

The childs sleeves were rolled up ; they drank from sippy cups with a lid. They and I wore machine washable / tumble-dryable clothes and I never ironed them.

For wiping snot I used toilet roll tissue, one kept in every room.

Completely agree. Can't wear light colours for chocolate, muddy dog or snot. Can't wear dark for regurgitated milk, toothpaste or...snot!

It's alright saying wear scruffy clothes at home but there's always constant errands to be done or visitors coming over.

Well, DS2 is still very much at the incoherent babble stage of conversation and absolutely nowhere near constructing a full sentence and asking for his nose to be wiped, but maybe that’s just another example of how my parenting is substandard compared with yours.

OP I have twins who are 3 and a 15 month old and I relate to this completely. Its frustrating and often I just have to leave the house looking a mess. I don't have a solution for you but some of these replies are mad and really unhelpful.

Well, DS2 is still very much at the incoherent babble stage of conversation and absolutely nowhere near constructing a full sentence and asking for his nose to be wiped, but maybe that’s just another example of how my parenting is substandard compared with yours

My 18mo can ask in many languages (she really loves Latin at the moment! LOL) but she actually prefers to show me through an interpretative dance, drawing on multiple influences from modern street dance through to the medieval Carolian. She's also composed a special piece for playing on her miniature harp. When I hear it I know she has a stream of green bogeys I must immediately attend to.

Your 18m old maybe it's understandable, but a 3yo? Come on.

I'm a big believer in sponging otherwise clean clothes rather than washing.
Eg when my toddler got snot on my top that was clean on this week, I wet a flannel and put a miniscule amount of soap on and rubbed the mark off. Flannels work better then other types of cloth because of the friction.

Also works surprisingly well in my opinion for things that can't easily go in the machine like bags and upholstery

Lol at all the people claiming their toddlers were always pristine. Sure. Also, if that's true I imagine it's a bit of a joyless existence for a 2 year old constantly being wiped and not allowed to touch anything or make a mess, or get a cuddle until they've been cleaned. And a bit joyless for the constantly cleaning parent too, miserable all round.

I'm in the same boat and it's really annoying. I just have grubby home clothes and nice work/going out clothes which I change into just before I leave the house and get out of when I come back in.

It will pass! I hope ...

Yes I can totally relate to this OP. My husband too. We despair at the washing. I have an 18 month old and food isn’t so bad as that’s mostly in the highchair, but we are both constantly covered in snot. We bought small bamboo cloths from Amazon that are about the quarter of a size of a face cloth and those are handy for wiping hands, noses and faces.

I always do my hair and makeup in the morning so that I feel at least a little bit human even if my clothes get grubby. And I find knitwear is more forgiving with stains so wear a lot of chunky cardigans!

This is my life summed up! I have some jumpers that take 10,000 years to dry & as soon as I put one on a mucky little hand touches me, or a snotty nose, or a toothbrush with toothpaste on it. It's so annoying!

Can't help, just sympathise.

Do they really blow their own noses at 18 months???!

I'll have to get my 2 year old to start doing his own nose, he's just in the kitchen at the moment making us a full SUNDAY roast on his own. Bet he gets his gravy hands on my new jumper

I hear you. I see the fairy lady on tv in a white skirt and wonder how they think this is reality!

My reality is little hands while they eat grabby me or food flying in my direction.

Muddy feet when you pick them up.

But I wouldn't change them!

Some of these replies are completely insane. Happy kids are often messy - muddy, snotty, just grubby. I really feel your pain.

I tend to have very low standards and very old clothes.

Mine are 3 and 1.

Christ alive this site is fucking batshit. I get the strong impression that half the posters on here are quite a few years past being in the throes of motherhood with young babies/toddlers and have very selective memories. Or they’re just odd people.

Of course babies and toddlers cover you in all sorts of shit, literal shit included. And it is totally demoralising. I feel your pain.

Even if your 18 month old can wipe their own nose, has a masters degree and pays the mortgage - why the fuck come on a post to rub that in someone’s face who is feeling a bit overwhelmed and dejected.

Literally what is wrong with people on here

I would wear aprons, the full ones not the ones you tie round your waist (pinnies). Have a few of those (I wouldn’t get throwaway ones as they’re not eco). It’s too long ago for me to remember what I did but that’s what I would do now. Maybe you can even get ones that are wipeable?

The judgement is astounding. But I guess some people’s babies were asking for a tissue at one minute old to clean off their baby gunk.

If you’re interested OP Amazon have wipeable PVC aprons -a two pack is £8.99 which doesn’t seem at all bad.

Housecoat/apron - I have a feeling there is a reason there used to be talks of cutting the apron strings!

If I work in our baby room I am usually grubby within half hour of arriving!

@willWillSmithsmith I know! I liked your suggestion of trying an apron tho, I think I’ll give that one a go when my next one arrives. (I know I certainly don’t produce these magical self cleaning babies so I’ll prob need one 😂)

My dd asks for a nose wipe or does it herself and similar with other stuff, but still throws food! She’s 23 months! It’s mainly when she gets cross at the end of a meal and I’m not quick enough to swipe it away.

Also my ds would not wipe his nose as a toddler. He just point blank refused. I’m not saying that learning to wipe shouldn’t be a normal part of life (obviously), but not every toddler does what is suggested the whole time - or at least mine don’t! He didn’t throw food like my dd though!

Much as I hate to admit it (I like to try and hold an image of me in my head which was of an effortlessly cool parent), what I did actually did was put a cloth apron on 'to cook' and sort of forget to take it off until after small children had been wiped over after eating/painting/covering the very appreciative cat in yoghurt. The snot, however, meant I was never more than an arm's length away from a baby wipe or flannel - I still find myself unconsciously going to put one in my handbag before going out all these years later (before reminding myself that no, there are no babies here and DP is more than capable of dealing with his own nose).