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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let people mispronounce my name?

121 replies

zagot · 30/04/2023 21:22

I grew up in a country that isn't England. My name in my native language is very similar to an English name. I also grew up speaking English, and when people spoke English they sometimes pronounced my name the way people do since I moved to England.

In my native language, my name is Ann-ee-ya, but in English everyone calls me Anna. When I first came here I would politely correct it, but since then I've given up and just go by Anna. It's spelt Anja

My family back in my native country think I am trying to Anglicise myself. Does anyone else let people call them the 'wrong' name, and it not bother them? AIBU to let people?

OP posts:
Beachywave · 30/04/2023 21:25

YANBU - my name is Amy but whenever I'm abroad I always get called Amie and I let it go but may not if it was all the time.

My SIL is also not from England, her name is Sera and here she gets called Sarah but also lets it go. (She lives in the UK).

Y also WBU if you corrected people, you have the right to have your name pronounced correctly.

UneFoisAuChalet · 30/04/2023 21:26

I have a similar problem. I don’t correct people because you’ve got to be able to roll your ‘r’s to say my name correctly. However, if I introduce myself, answer the phone, or asked for my name, I say it correctly. I will never ever bastardize my name to make others comfortable with mispronouncing it.

mynameisnotkate · 30/04/2023 21:26

It’s up to you really but I would have thought Anya is not an uncommon name in the UK and sounds noticeably different to Anna. Personally I’d want to stick to my actual name.

TommyNever · 30/04/2023 21:27

If you want the name pronounced in English as it is in your native country, it's probably better to spell it Anya rather an Anja.

Fromage · 30/04/2023 21:31

I have this situation with my surname. Usually mispronounced. I have ceased to care, but then it doesn't come up that much.

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2023 21:32

Yanbu.
One of the school mums is Laura. She's Spanish though so the au is pronounced like ow and r is rolled. I try but can't roll my Rs. She doesn't mind Laura.

neonjumper · 30/04/2023 21:33

TommyNever · 30/04/2023 21:27

If you want the name pronounced in English as it is in your native country, it's probably better to spell it Anya rather an Anja.

Really ... we're doing this now ? This is harking back to the 1960/70s .

No you don't need to spell your name differently . Anja is becoming very common in the UK and people need to make more of an effort to say your name correctly. I would continue on with correcting.

I find it ridiculous that some people cannot put a little effort ... I always think these types of people are lazy and somewhat resistant to change .

Choconut · 30/04/2023 21:38

Anja is lovely! I would pronounce it wrong if I only saw it written down too - I'd think Anya rather than Aneeya. But it's really up to you. If it's easier just to go with the flow then do that. If you want people to get it right then go with that. Whatever is best for you.

jaundicedoutlook · 30/04/2023 21:41

Been here 25 years and nobody ever pronounces my name quite correctly (including DH!). I’ve long since given up correcting people as life’s too short and I’d be at it half a dozen times a day.

TommyNever · 30/04/2023 21:44

neonjumper · 30/04/2023 21:33

Really ... we're doing this now ? This is harking back to the 1960/70s .

No you don't need to spell your name differently . Anja is becoming very common in the UK and people need to make more of an effort to say your name correctly. I would continue on with correcting.

I find it ridiculous that some people cannot put a little effort ... I always think these types of people are lazy and somewhat resistant to change .

Show quote history

"Doing this"? You mean writing your name phonetically in the language of the country in which you live, so that people can readily pronounce it the way you want?

Well yeah, it certainly makes life easier if you're really bothered by mispronunciation.

I have a surname that is always mispronounced by English speakers because of its Polish spelling, as the letters used are pronounced completely differently in English.

Entirely my fault as I could solve the problem by changing the spelling to phonetic English. I haven't done so because of the bother involved in verifying a new spelling on all my IDs and accounts etc.

But I certainly don't blame English speakers for mispronouncing what they see as an alphabet soup.

ISpyCobraKai · 30/04/2023 21:45

My Dd's name is Niamh, she gets all kinds of weird pronunciations and spellings, once a Christmas card, adressed to "Knife"!
It's not even an uncommon name now.

Deadpalm · 30/04/2023 21:48

It's up to you. I personally correct my name. Some people mind some don't. If you don't thdn leave it.

My biggest bugbear is misspelling in replies to my emails. It's right fucking there

EmmaEmerald · 30/04/2023 21:49

I have a foreign name
I don't like it being mispronounced but at the ripe old age of 46, I have realised it's not fair to expect to everyone to get it right. I do have an English name which I now use instead (I prefer it tbh). But after a friend of many years kept getting my name wrong, I felt bad correcting her. It's a genuine stumbling block. My best friend can't say "specific" - it always comes out as "pacific".

I started to feel mean correcting people

I'm sure there's stuff I can't pronounce so I have let it go.

EmmaEmerald · 30/04/2023 21:50

ISpyCobraKai · 30/04/2023 21:45

My Dd's name is Niamh, she gets all kinds of weird pronunciations and spellings, once a Christmas card, adressed to "Knife"!
It's not even an uncommon name now.

Oh blimey, I would not put up with that!

pollykitty · 30/04/2023 21:51

Oh this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have a name that is so easy: Diana. You’d think as there has been a few famous Dianas (like PRINCESS Diana) that people would say it right. But no. I get Deeana and worse, Diane, which people seem to think some ‘short’ version of Diana. It drives me mad. I correct them every time. Make people say it correctly!!! Keep interrupting them!! It’s your NAME.It’s one thing if it’s a Starbucks order but another if it’s your colleagues at work calling you the wrong name every day. So rude and disrespectful.

Kyse · 30/04/2023 21:51

I correct people every time, mine isn't even a hard name and the version they're using is male
So sick of being referred to as male, even to my face that I've started correcting people

Think Samantha/Samuel

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 21:53

UneFoisAuChalet · 30/04/2023 21:26

I have a similar problem. I don’t correct people because you’ve got to be able to roll your ‘r’s to say my name correctly. However, if I introduce myself, answer the phone, or asked for my name, I say it correctly. I will never ever bastardize my name to make others comfortable with mispronouncing it.

Assuming you are french based on your nickname. My french surname is being destroyed by English people, they cant pronounced properly but i gave up correcting everyone…

SkaneTos · 30/04/2023 22:03

I have a Scandinavian name. English speaking persons want to pronounce it a certain way, and I found that if I introduce myself with that pronounciation they will spell it right. If I prounounce it the way it sounds in my native language they will spell it wrong, or they don't really hear what I say. So I have started to pronounce it the "English speaking way" when talking to English speaking people, and I don't mind that. Easier for everyone! And my name is still my name.

ShowUs · 30/04/2023 22:08

ISpyCobraKai · 30/04/2023 21:45

My Dd's name is Niamh, she gets all kinds of weird pronunciations and spellings, once a Christmas card, adressed to "Knife"!
It's not even an uncommon name now.

This is one name I used to always get wrong!

I have to spell things out phonetically and Niamh is a nightmare for this.

Saracen · 30/04/2023 22:09

It's up to you whether the mispronunciation bothers you enough to keep correcting people. It isn't up to your family.

My name is often mispronounced. Though it's an English name, it has two possible pronunciations, and mine is the less common one. I am so used to it being mispronounced that I no longer even really hear the difference. One week when I didn't go to my hobby, the people there were talking about me and realised some of them say my name incorrectly. Upon my return, one of them asked me - without saying my name - "I'm really sorry - have I been saying your name wrong all these years?" and I admitted I didn't know! I had no idea which camp he was in, because I don't notice.

I'll tell you something funny though. In total contradiction to what I said above, I am overprotective of my friend whose name is constantly mispronounced, and I always correct people. So I also see where your family is coming from! Perhaps it grates on them because they aren't so used to hearing the mispronunciation as you are?

LynetteScavo · 30/04/2023 22:10

Hmm...I would say your name Anya. You'd have to tell me it's An - ee - ya and then I'd probably think I was saying it right by saying Anya, but to you it would be very different from the way your family pronoun it. I'm not sure why people would say Anna. To me Anna and Anya are very different (are they similar to you OP?)

SittingOnTheChair · 30/04/2023 22:16

I work with several people from other countries who have completely changed their names (at work) so that the English could pronounce it/could feel that they 'fit in'.

Makes me feel very uneasy. People can usually pick up a name pretty quickly.

Glitterorange · 30/04/2023 22:18

My name is Nadine. My mum grew up in a country where it was pronounced " Nay deen" so that's how I've always been known in my family. However, it seems when British people read/hear my name, they automatically say " Ner deen".

I tried for years when I met new people, to say that my name was pronounced "Nay deen" but it was met with such confusion that I generally now introduce myself as "Ner deen", even though that doesn't feel like it is my name. When someone actually calls me "Nay deen", I feel an immediate affinity with them!

Rabbitmouse · 30/04/2023 22:19

I have a friend who is Scandinavian and her name is Sari (pronounced Sa-ri, like carry). Obviously people pronounce it the same as the Indian word (sah-ri) which she says doesn’t bother her, but she still introduces herself as Sa-ri so I don’t get why no one has cottoned on that this is how to pronounce it.

Plethoraofwoo · 30/04/2023 22:21

TommyNever · 30/04/2023 21:27

If you want the name pronounced in English as it is in your native country, it's probably better to spell it Anya rather an Anja.

So she either has to change how people say or spell her name rather than people just actually learn how to pronounce it properly? What a world.

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