To let people mispronounce my name?

[zagot]

I grew up in a country that isn't England. My name in my native language is very similar to an English name. I also grew up speaking English, and when people spoke English they sometimes pronounced my name the way people do since I moved to England.

In my native language, my name is Ann-ee-ya, but in English everyone calls me Anna. When I first came here I would politely correct it, but since then I've given up and just go by Anna. It's spelt Anja

My family back in my native country think I am trying to Anglicise myself. Does anyone else let people call them the 'wrong' name, and it not bother them? AIBU to let people?

Ugh - I am Scottish but have an Irish name. It isn't overly common these days. When I was a child, I told people my name and they pronounced it correctly.

As an adult, it drives me mad. Every single day, people say it wrongly. I have worked in the same place for ten years and still they don't say it right!

I correct them every single bloody time.

They actually pronounce it the way English people on the TV do... But they are not English with English accents, it's bizarre! 😂

Laughing at people trying to tell you what they're actually called rather than the name you made up for them? Delightful.

I correct every single time.

My name in its native tongue is pronounced very differently to the way it is in English, but I grew up with in English it's pronounced X and in native tongue it's pronounced Y. All of my siblings are the same. As are the wider community - some to the extent of having quite different sounding names in English and Native language. (Eg Vladimir - short form in Russian is Vova, but in English we used Wally).

So for me it's completely normal.

Does it annoy you when people mispronounce it? Or would you simply rather hear your name as it’s supposed to be pronounced? If so, correct them. I’ve been correcting people who mispronounce my name (it’s French and has neither an A nor a silent S at the end) for thirty years. I tell ‘em “I paid good money for this name, use all the letters!” I’m also careful to ask people how their names are pronounced - like is it Aileen or Eileen, Marie or Maria, etc.

My foster son has a very long and difficult to pronounce African name.

For years we have tried to tell people how to pronounce it. They still get it wrong.

He was getting a bit frustrated with EVERYONE getting it wrong, so now he's older he has shortened it.

This makes me sad!

At least the days of the “deliberate” mispronunciation seems to be over. My name is Justine. It’s not that hard, is it? Growing up in the 70’s, I was frequently called Justin, Janine, Janelle, Christine, Joanne, Tina and “Isn’t that a boy’s name?”. I was even told that my name didn’t exist at all. Weird. No wonder I bloody hate it now.

It's only unreasonable if it bothers you.

If it bothers you then you should correct it. If you're OK with it then it's fine.

Sorry but I wouldn't think to pronounce it anything other than An-ja. So I would be way off !
Not intentional of course and I stand corrected.

But I do laugh at people who are all special about their name pronunciation - and pronouns, for that matter. If they know somebody's trying to address them, what's the problem?

@GarlicGrace You laugh at people who care about the way people address them? Why?

It's just etiquette/ polite to try and get it right, surely. I'd overlook once or twice but if I'd told someone and they kept getting it wrong, I wouldn't feel particularly warmly towards them.

People pronounce my daughters name wrong but that’s because people do pronounce it 2 different ways in general. I don’t correct anyone other than if the nursery staff say it wrong, I will say a sentence that includes our way of saying her name (i.e. I might say ah yes XXX loves softplay so I’m sure she did have a wonderful day). I only do this because she spends 10 hours a day at nursery so it would be confusing to hear her name pronounced differently throughout the day, particularly when she was smaller. It doesn’t bother her either though she answers to both!

How are you meeting these people? Do you pronounce your name clearly when you introduce yourself? Or have they seen your name written? Do they all know each other? If they've seen your name written it's odd that you don't get An-ya as a default which would be the English pronunciation of Anja.
But if it's all people who know each other and you answer to Anna, if they even know your real name they may well think that's just an normal nickname for Anja/ your preferred name rather than that's what your name actually is.

Anyway yanbu if it doesn't bother you, it is actually a reasonable nickname for your name, and, however the 'nickname' originated, if your family think it is being driven by you, they're being unreasonable not to respect your choice.

That’s tough, OP. My grandmother was Russian and her name was Alija, when she came to the UK people called her Alice…I only knew her as Alice because like you she stuck with it.
Anja is a beautiful name and I would hope people in England can see and hear the difference. It’s up to you, both names are absolutely beautiful but quite different so go with your preference.

I get called Joyce instead of Joy quite often. I hate it- it's not my name. I always correct it

I'm English and I'd say An-ya if I saw Anja. That's still wrong, as OP has already said in her first post.

She doesn't have to change the spelling of her name because we're ignorant.

OP I'd be grateful if you corrected me.

I would pronounce your name correctly and have worked with an Anja in London. If you live somewhere multicultural then it's pretty standard to ask how to pronounce someone's name rather than just guess and get it wrong.

I would keep correcting people definitely.

You would think that but no. I still clock onto people when they mispronounce my name only in front of others when they need to put me down a notch like when I challenge them or actually have some good idea. Or someone speaks to me and they don't like it. Or I am correcting something. I am not some sensitive soul. I just realise when people say my name fine and then not when I displease.

I jjst always imagine them as my fave LB character. Because that's what they are.

Tbh in most cases it is deliberate anyway as in "can't be bothered, haha ditzy brit" most names don't have sounds Brits can't do. Some do which is fair enough then.

I'm a languages teacher. Some people genuinely find pronunciation of unfamiliar names and words really difficult, even when they try hard. I think if it were me, I'd keep correcting, but I'd let it slide with anyone who was trying but clearly struggled to get it!

The names of royals still often get translated, so having Princess Diana as an example doesn't really help your cause, unfortunately!

To the OP: this is all about your personal level of comfort. My name gets mispronounced constantly, sometimes due to phoneme issues, sometimes due to dickheadishness. People will often stare at me blankly when I introduce myself, or sometimes even respond really rudely.

I've made peace with it to a certain extent - if it's a random person I'm unlikely to see again, they can butcher my name all they like. Different people have different comfort levels about their name pronunciation. To the OP, do what feels best for you (and Anja is a beautiful name, btw!).

I'm the same. Have a name from my home country which is pronounced differently here, and DP grew up with yet another version. I like it. People who know me in my home language call me X, those who know me through English call me Y, and DP, and people who know me through him call me Z.

My mother wasn't impressed, like yours she thought I was trying to Anglicise myself, but I pointed out it was like having nicknames.

Your name, your choice. If it doesn’t bother you then that’s ok 🙂

If you are called Tania or Grant and you are from the South, does it annoy you when northerners pronounce your name with flat vowels?
I have known one Tania who was MILITANT about her name being pronounced ‘tarnia’.

I think my mum grew up in the same country as your mum! I automatically say "Nay-deen" (even though I'm British) as per the novelist from the same country with the surname Gordimer.

Anja really shouldn't be a difficult name for anyone to get right!

It's entirely up to you though OP. If you don't like being called Anna and just go with it because it's easier/to fit in - I think you should stick up for yourself and correct people. However if you genuinely don't mind being called Anna, that's fine too and you shouldn't let anyone else guilt you about it.

Funny story, there were two girls in my friendship group about 15 years ago called Katie (British) and Ekaterina (Russian). Katie called herself Katia because she thought it sounded more interesting/prettier. Ekaterina called herself Kate because to her the British diminutive was the "exotic" one. (Yes in retrospect this was a little pretentious but we were in our early 20s and they were both lovely people anyway.)