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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m never ever ever buying a house. How do people even do it?!

366 replies

misstartan · 30/04/2023 16:57

I’m 26 and I just feel like giving up. I currently flat share with a friend but want to move in with DP soon.

I have £2500 saved up and that’s it. DP has about the same so we’re nowhere near a deposit. We’re both earning a decent amount but we’re not putting enough away. I’ve tried budgeting etc and put about £300 a month away if I’m lucky.

But realistically deposits will be around 30k now, so I’m only about 28 away… 😂😭

Thing is, I’ve always had it in my head that I’d have bought a house and got married before I have kids. And I’ve always wanted to start having kids by 30. Only gives me 4 years..
I genuinely genuinely do not see how this is going to happen and it really upsets me 🙁

How do people do it?! The

OP posts:
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5
Cracklecrack · 30/04/2023 20:28

Am 41 and bought my first house at 25 with 100% mortgage on 25k - then the house prices crashed and I was stuck in it for 10 years - but yeah it allowed me to move onto the next one which is better.

I have no idea how people would do it now- house prices have doubled and more since then and wages defo haven’t.

only younger people I know who have done it have been given some money.

can’t help but think that house prices will drop soon…….

are there shared ownership houses or anything where you are?

FarmGirl78 · 30/04/2023 20:32

But you're not saying you'll "never" buy a house, you're actually saying you won't manage to buy one in the next 4 years. Big difference.

I know I'm going to sound very condescending and "I remember when all this wer fields" but when I was in my twenties I worked 3 jobs doing 70 hours a week until I could afford to buy. It was VILE. I missed close friends big birthdays, works nights out, I didn't get to see so many films that were realised round that time, I just missed so much stuff. I was so burnt out. But I knew it wasn't forever and I always had my end point in sight.

Could you get a weekend job in a takeaway, Wetherspoons or a local supermarket? Could you do overtime in your current job? Could you sell things on eBay or vinted? There's only 2 ways round this. You either need to make your outgoings less, or you income more.

YouJustDoYou · 30/04/2023 20:35

It's not impossible, just depends on a number of factors. My brother, now almost 40, has been saving religiously just about 20 years for a deposit. He's just brought his first place with his wife. It's not going to happen in a flash unless you have help, and most people really have to realise just what sacrifices have to made in order to try and save up a deposit. It's a damn hard, long slog for many who don't get inheritences, parental help, wealthy spouses etc.

LizzieLoO37 · 30/04/2023 20:35

You have the drive and passion to do this, so you will. Look into homebuyer schemes in case there are any in your area? Speak to the local estate agents as we got our house through a new build homebuyer scheme so only needed a 5% deposit. Good luck and don't give up. It took me and my husband 5 years of scrimping and saving but we did it and so can you xx

Sissynova · 30/04/2023 20:37

But realistically deposits will be around 30k now, so I’m only about 28 away… 😂😭

A lot of the time this attitude is actually why some younger people feel they can’t buy. I’ve seen it with so many friends. They were in perfectly good situations for buying but didn’t really want to put in any work.

If you need £30k for deposit that’s 15k if you’re buying with a partner and you both have 2.5 to start. So £300 a month for 3 and a half years would hit your target. Prices will go up in that time but so should your salary so it could even out.

It’s entirely do able. 3.5 years is hardly a massive slug in the grand scheme of things.

fruitbrewhaha · 30/04/2023 20:38

Firstly you not on a high salary, can you increase your earnings. No you will not be able to buy a 350k house on 26k a year.

Secondly you need to buy a flat that needs some work. Live in it for a bit and do it up. The. You can move on a house. You may need another step before you reach your 350k house.

Thirdly, it makes sense to do all this before you have children. You can put up with a renovation if it’s just the two of you. You can work two jobs to save up. Kids are expensive and once you have them it make everything harder. So you may need to wait a bit longer before you have them.

thefamous5 · 30/04/2023 20:39

I'm in my late 30s and unless I win the lottery, never going to be a homeowner.

Mooshamoo · 30/04/2023 20:43

justsayingthat · 30/04/2023 19:56

How I did it:

My parents (owned their property, no mortgage) took out a £50k mortgage and loaned it to me for a deposit.

I got a mortgage in my own name for the remainder of purchase price.

I paid both monthly mortgage payments- mine and my parents. Was still cheaper than what rent would have been.

Lived in that house for 5 years before selling. When sold, paid off the £50k mortgage in my parents' name. Used the equity increase to fund deposit for my second property.

Obviously, I could not have done this without my parents' help... but it didn't cost them a penny. They just had to be willing (and trust me) to take out a mortgage on their property.

I didn't know that you could get a mortgage on a house that you owned outright.

ComicClassic · 30/04/2023 20:45

How ?

I lived in 9 different places before I bought my first property, including a room in shared houses, studio flat etc

I was fed up of moving & the rules associated with not owning properly. It also cost me time, effort & money each time I moved.

I therefore had the incentive to buy !

I worked more than one job FT & PT
I changed jobs to a better paid job

Then I met my partner

We lived together for a year before we bought

We put down 10% deposit, plus the fees & moving costs

We bought furniture & soft furnishings after we moved in

It was not easy, but it was worth it

AlltheFs · 30/04/2023 20:45

Mooshamoo · 30/04/2023 20:43

I didn't know that you could get a mortgage on a house that you owned outright.

Show quote history

You can always remortgage for as long as you meet affordability - if you pay your mortgage off early and then circumstances change you can borrow again. It’s no different to additional borrowing really.
The only issue is age as there’s always a cut off for lending and it’s potentially risky.

Lovelystuff · 30/04/2023 20:50

I had no family help either and was on a normal wage with my husband. We both used the LISA and we lived extremely frugally for a couple of years and lived in the smallest mankiest flat. I’m originally from SE London and couldn’t afford there so had to move out into Kent. Only needed a 5% deposit so had to save up £13k including fees. You can do this!!

Dente · 30/04/2023 20:51

Do you or your partner have any scope for career progression? Would you consider changing careers ? Or going abroad for a period of time ? Can you work overtime ?

I bought a dingy little flat in my twenties after saving up a deposit while I was a student. Then another flat and now I live in a 5 bed house in my thirties. During this time I’ve progressed in my career and got married to someone who brings in a similar income.

You might want to live in Essex, but it might be that you have to buy outside just to get yourself started. Sometimes you just have to be uncomfortable for a little while. That first flat I had was basement and one of the rooms had no windows…. It was tiny! But it got me on the housing ladder and that’s just what you have to do!

Moonandme123 · 30/04/2023 20:51

I’m in the same boat although I’m older than you and have two DC. I’ve made peace with the fact that I won’t own for a very long time. Especially now we have children. But I’m not letting my children miss out on holidays and days out because we are scrimping and saving. So I’ve just had to make peace with renting forever x

strawberryjeans · 30/04/2023 20:52

Some of these comments… wow. As a FTB it’s really making me reevaluate. Everyone tells you to get a doer upper but the idea of major structural problems scares me beyond all else. Should we be looking for new builds only for peace of mind?

HipHipCimorene · 30/04/2023 20:53

I m an architect. Was on a good salary, but I was 33 before I could afford a property.
Had to move out of London and buy a wreck. Pebble dashed ceilings, no doors just one at the front. Some rooms had the floors ripped out. No heating, single glazed glass missing. It had been rented for 20 plus years with landlords abroad so no maintenance. This was 1999.

It has never been easy. It’s harder now. But if you search for a wreck, look at auctions and make an offer before the auction. They may then wait for you to sort out the mortgage. Move to somewhere that you can afford. Depends how willing you’re both to make sacrifices.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 20:53

Lovelystuff · 30/04/2023 20:50

I had no family help either and was on a normal wage with my husband. We both used the LISA and we lived extremely frugally for a couple of years and lived in the smallest mankiest flat. I’m originally from SE London and couldn’t afford there so had to move out into Kent. Only needed a 5% deposit so had to save up £13k including fees. You can do this!!

Yes exactly! We did similar!

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 20:54

strawberryjeans · 30/04/2023 20:52

Some of these comments… wow. As a FTB it’s really making me reevaluate. Everyone tells you to get a doer upper but the idea of major structural problems scares me beyond all else. Should we be looking for new builds only for peace of mind?

No! My partner is in the trade, a year on with new build you’ll realise everything was done cheaply. Loads of pipes problems, door not fitting properly, floor not even.

potentialmediator · 30/04/2023 20:55

Agreed house prices are ridiculous now. But just echoing what others have said, DH and I moved into a bedroom in a houseshare at your age, so lowest rent possible, and had an extra job or 2 each. Bar work was exhausting when you finish at 4am and have a regular 9-5, but was almost a social life too, and we got fed and watered there over weekend so cut costs! DH cycled to work on a crap bike.
I also bought in the NW not South West London where I'm from, not a chance.
Housing in this country is f**cked (I mean, I wouldn't mind the chance to live near family where I was born and raised) but you can re-frame it maybe. You're young and there's two of you, if it's your only goal I'm sure you can achieve something that's yours.

HipHipCimorene · 30/04/2023 20:55

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 20:54

No! My partner is in the trade, a year on with new build you’ll realise everything was done cheaply. Loads of pipes problems, door not fitting properly, floor not even.

Show quote history

My brother has 600 snagging issues.

caringcarer · 30/04/2023 20:56

Open a LISA for every £400 you put in government tops up to £500.

Kennykenkencat · 30/04/2023 20:59

Inthedarkagain · 30/04/2023 17:04

People own arouse because a) they are over 45, or b) their parents helped them financially /inheritance or c) have a high paid job in a cheap area. Everyone else is fucked.

It's a shit state of affairs. The Tories and economic policy of low interest rates and too much QE while wages have stagnated has ensured that two generations have been utterly screwed over. It's neglect in my opinion.

Dd bought a grotty, tiny studio flat for cash (4 figures) at 18.

No injection of cash from me or her dad

No high paying full time job.
Just the money she had saved over the years from jobs she had done whilst still in school and free lance jobs she had done since leaving school the year before.

A lot of her friends who didn’t go to university have bought.

Not houses initially but flats.

You have to look at the fact that people come to this country with just the clothes they stand up in and on minimum wage jobs they go on to buy their own home.

I think you have to look at the reasons why Some people aren’t able to buy and some with a lot less manage to.

I always think when people say they can’t afford to buy it isn’t strictly true.
Somewhere in the U.K. there is a place that they can afford.

But buying involves a lot of compromise, taking on extra work and cutting your expenditure and even then you might only afford a studio flat but it is a start.

I think too many people think they can just buy their forever home as a FTB because they have waited till they are 35 and they deserve it. Then get a shock when they can’t get what they want

Unless you have very wealthy parents or have had a lottery win or large inheritance then you have to buy the starter place and work your way up.

CheersForThatEh · 30/04/2023 21:00

It feels unfair to say pick up extra work but needs must. It's not forever. And you're at the earliest point in your career, your wages should go up over time.

BlueAndGreen89 · 30/04/2023 21:00

I haven’t read the full thread, sorry, but I used inheritance from my dad’s death put a deposit down on a house. I was very unlucky to lose my dad in my early 20s and wish a billion times over that I had him here instead of a house deposit. I know, if we hadn’t lost him, my parents would’ve given me probably 50% of a deposit, and I would have had them save up the rest myself.

The house I bought for £190k in 2015 is apparently worth £300k now. It’s crazy.

adarkbarking · 30/04/2023 21:01

@fruitbrewhaha I agree to some extent - but I wouldn't put off TTC. Nobody knows how long it will take, and at 26, you need to crack on. My children (now adults) have only ever lived in renovation projects, and sometimes moaned about it - but by the same token, they do know now that if we hadn't done this as a way to crawl up the housing ladder, their lives would have been very different.

LimeBasilu · 30/04/2023 21:02

They buy what they can afford even if that is a tiny studio flat that needs work miles away in a not so nice area then add value by doing the place up

Except... that's not how the market works any more... Let alone the fact that it costs 10,000s to do the work!