I’m never ever ever buying a house. How do people even do it?!

[misstartan]

I’m 26 and I just feel like giving up. I currently flat share with a friend but want to move in with DP soon.

I have £2500 saved up and that’s it. DP has about the same so we’re nowhere near a deposit. We’re both earning a decent amount but we’re not putting enough away. I’ve tried budgeting etc and put about £300 a month away if I’m lucky.

But realistically deposits will be around 30k now, so I’m only about 28 away… 😂😭

Thing is, I’ve always had it in my head that I’d have bought a house and got married before I have kids. And I’ve always wanted to start having kids by 30. Only gives me 4 years..
I genuinely genuinely do not see how this is going to happen and it really upsets me 🙁

How do people do it?! The

I absolutely wouldn’t prioritise having kids at 26, fgs. OP has years for that…
if she wants a house/flat/own property, I absolutely don’t see how she can do it post kids. Unless she and her partner find a really cheap family size rental, they will be blowing huge amounts of the income on rent. On top of that, kids costs. On top of that, banks won’t lend them as much as they would if no dependents.
In my area which isn’t hugely desirable you absolutely can’t rent anything kid friendly (I mean 2 bed+) for less than £1100. Bills on top, kids cost.. no time for second job either..how the OP could save a deposit? It is hundreds times easier with no kids. I know in mine and DH case we wouldn’t.

I think too many people don't bother saving because they think it's pointless, which is a sad and incorrect way of thinking. They can't see the bigger picture and don't seem to understand the value of the "accumulation" effect.

It's all "it's not worth me saving a fiver because I'm going to need £25k for a deposit".

But in reality, if a couple save a fiver each per day by not buying stuff they don't need, not buying coffees from Starbucks, taking a sandwich instead of buying a sandwich, that's £3,650 per year on trivialities alone, so they'd save the £25k deposit in just 7 years!

Add in not constantly upgrading their mobile phones and having a £15 per month calls/text/web package instead of £50 per month for a new phone, they save another £840 per year, which brings saving that £25k deposit down to 5 years.

They need to ditch the unnecessary spending, lots of monthly subscriptions of a fiver here and a tenner there (Netflix, Spotify etc), add up.

Likewise they need to get into the habit of shopping around, comparing prices of different brands, etc., as per the other thread at the moment. Get rid of the mentality of "it's only 50p more expensive" - yes, only 50p on one item of shopping, multiply that by maybe 20 items you buy every week and it's a tenner. Multiply by 52 weeks and it's £520 per year, all for doing nothing but thinking and planning about where you shop and what you buy. It's easy money!

We've been conditioned into thinking that things cost "only" a few pounds, but in reality, lots of "a few pounds" regularly, soon adds up to pretty big numbers.

The old adage of "look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves" remains as true today as it was true when it first appeared decades ago. Just need to scale up the "pennies" by inflation, maybe a modern day equivalent would be something like look after the 50p's and the tenners will look after themselves!

@Onegingerhead

It is hundreds times easier with no kids.

Yes, I agree, if you are going to buy a house, prioritise it and get it before children. Once you have children, the costs are horrendous, you are limited in your career/working hours, etc., so if you've not saved and bought a house before children, you're much less likely to ever buy a house.

There's a reason the historic order of things was Marriage>House>Children. Those doing it in reverse order are making life a lot harder and stressful for themselves.

We both moved back with parents after uni and a few years living away/travelling. My parents didn't charge me rent, my now husband's (rich!) Parents still charged him although below market value. I didn't have a car so my only expenses were travel to work, food and not much else. My husband did have a car so his saving power was lower with him also paying rent. We didn't have a holiday abroad for 6 years or spend much on fun things, minimal clothes etc. In 4 years of hard saving we saved up 80k (no help apart from low/no rent) so had enough for a house deposit, some left to do it up and some towards a wedding. I annoys me when people assume everyone must be given their deposit, granted we had help with living expenses but we got the deposit together because of our hard saving. We had a pretty dull life for about 4/5 years and the difficulties that go with trying to live as an adult with parents in your mid-late 20s. Many of my friend's were having amazing holidays and living life to the full mid-late 20s, so it felt even worse scrimping when my mates were having 10k holidays in Mexico (this friend would moan she'd never be able to save up for a house 🤣🧐!). It is possible to save granted much much slower if you are paying rent but I guess you'd have to be prepared to live somewhere a bit shit to pay lower rent.

@RunningRunningRunningRunningRunning

I annoys me when people assume everyone must be given their deposit, granted we had help with living expenses but we got the deposit together because of our hard saving.

Same here. We got zilch from our parents towards our deposit. We both lived at home for the TEN YEARS between us getting together and having enough saved for a deposit. During that time, we paid rent to our respective parents, although discounted, but it more than covered our food, laundry, utilities we used, etc and wasn't much less than we could have rented a small flat together (about £100 less after accounting for utilities etc). I used to give my parents half my take home wage for bed and board! OH needed a replacement car and his Mum graciously offered to "lend" him the money, which he had to pay back over 3 years - she even drew up a card where she initialled each monthly payment that he gave her - but it was interest free, so grateful for small mercies!

You are only 26, you are not running out of time. I was 26 in 1996 and even then most people my age had not bought a property.

I currently work part time in a not particularly well paid job and I bring home nearly as much money as you do. If you are working part time, I think you need to up your hours or get a second job. If you are already in full time work, then I think you need to see what you can do to upskill and find better paying work.

Finally, I think you need to set your sights more realistically. I live in the same area as you and whilst I know £350k isn’t going to get a 4 bed detached around here, you certainly don’t need to spend that much before you can get something.

Essex, age 26 1500 net pay a month for one of the two of them and partner is not a first time buyer; 2500 saved for deposit so far by one of them possibly same for the other one. Do we know what the career is yet?
What about this one - £150k essex. You can easily fit a baby in a one bed flat and even a second child if you try as you work your way up to a bigger place or decide to move somewhere like NE England where I am from where you get much more for your money.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86087652#/media?channel=RES_BUY&id=media1

So it is under £250k so no stamp duty in England.
If you get at 95% mortgage you n eed to save 7500 which 3750 each. You have 2500 each so far so just need 1250 plus the solicitors' fees. You could probably buy almost right away if you can get the 1250 from a credit card, just to be done with it.

Or go up North and buy this one https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/133931063#/?channel=RES_BUY

@user1497207191

In your case, I probably would have advised you to rent a room in shared accommodation with your DP and saved that way.

Sounds like both sets of parents did the bare minimum to help you achieve your goal in which case what's the point of being apart for so long?

I'm 38 and we couldn't afford our first house until we were 30. Stuck in the loop of paying someone else's mortgage (renting) whilst trying to save the deposit.

Honestly? We managed it because of the following:

A) My grandad died and my grandmother invited us to live with her while she adjusted to her new life without him. This allowed us to save for 6months.

B)My mum won £10k in a PPI settlement and leant it to us.

C) My sister leant me the other money.

Without those three things happening we would have NEVER bought our house. We paid everyone back etc.

Most of my friends have rich parents who gave them 30k deposits. The ones who don't are renting still.

Well we weren't "apart" - we did loads of things together! You don't have to live together to do things together.

We were also both studying and taking exams, alongside full time jobs, so were often studying a few evenings per week and maybe one day at weekends, so we didn't need to be together all the time anyway as we didn't really have much "time off" to be together.

We were both on the same page of looking to the long term, so happy to make short term sacrifices instead of instant gratification.

It paid off, in spades. We were mortgage free in our mid 40s (only had a mortgage for 11 years before we could pay it off). That was partly because we were well paid due to spending our 20's studying, taking exams and getting promotions, and partly because we managed to save a 25% deposit before we bought a house and overpaid as soon as we could, meaning we saved tens of thousands of interest!

There was a time of 125% and 100% mortgages. Lots of people got on the property ladder that way. I bought my current house 15 years ago on a 100% mortgage. It wasn’t a great move at the time as there was then a price crash. My house is worth less than I paid for it even now and equity has just started to show from paying off over the years. But it was a cheap house (under £100k). I’d love to move but having gone to part time and getting divorced I wouldn’t even get a mortgage to buy my own house again. Even with some inheritance coming my way it wouldn’t be enough. But can’t complain. We never inherited off grandparents. They never owned. And any money passed down went to my parents. My parents generation (in their 70s) have all done well from buying.

Im not sure how people do it these days. The new build house my parents bought for under £50k in the late 1980s is now worth probably £200/250k. My house is over 100 years old and gradually decreasing in value.

It's possible but takes time, effort and sacrifice. We bought our first property in London (zone 5, in a good area and very nice street) 3 years ago. A 2 bed maisonette. The second bedroom is basically a box room.
We had a 20% deposit, we put in a new kitchen and shower and did some other bits and bobs as soon as we moved. We were still left with a good emergency fund.
We were in our early/mid thirties at the time. No kids. We chose to postponed until after we had our own home.
We didn't have any help from parents nor inheritances.
We were both earning under 30k when we bought (i changed jobs and got a pay bump the year before). We were both earning under or around 20k for the 10 years before buying. We flatshared for about half the time, renting a double room but rented a flat for a few years. Before we bought our rent was £1150 excluding bills.
We saved by not eating out, no takeaways, clothes only to replace damaged ones, not going out for drinks, cinema, etc.
We were saving about half our joint income.
We had pay as you go sims and no mobile data for years. We've recently moved to sim only contracts and pay £6 each a month. no subscriptions or memberships.
We don't buy food to have at work, I cook from scratch every evening and make enough to take for lunch the next day.
We still managed to have holidays abroad and the odd day out.
The box room is now the nursery and my almost 9 month old was napping in my arms as I typed this. The plan is to continue saving and move to an actual house when we're no longer paying nursery fees.

OP, buying a place is much tougher now but it wasn't easy either when I bought my first 35 years ago.

I came out of a divorce in my early 20s, with a child, and went to live with my parents to save money. I met my second husband then and instead of moving in together, we kept living with our parents until we had the money for a deposit. It was a second hand flat needing renovations and not in the best suburb in Madrid but even with rates at 16% we went for it.

It was bloody hard. I went through years of not even buying deodorant to save money. Soap, water and shampoo and shaving cream were the only things you could find in our bathroom. We didn't have a car and used public transport or cycled.

Five years later we sold the unit and with the equity and smaller mortgage rate bought a 3-bedroom flat . But by then I had another child but were lucky my parents and PIL provided child care.

Being a home owner is bloody difficult if you have an average wage. Disregard your expectations and be realistic. Save as much as you can and look for properties more affordable but still within an affordable public transport distance.

I’m disabled so I can’t work more than 3 days a week. I do claim PIP but earn too much to claim any other benefits and it doesn’t make up for the 8 days a month that I can’t work.
We need a 3 bed as we need an extra room for medical equipment and we will be trying for a baby so would rather not move again within a few years when we buy.

Thanks but I’m disabled so can’t work any more than I already do. I struggle with stairs so a flat is really unrealistic, unless ground floor. I also need a two bed for equipment. Both myself and my partner cannot move back in with parents - tbh I don’t actually know many people who would be able to do this. We have previously shared but it’s not really something that we can do with my condition - much too stressful and strangers aren’t often too understanding of things like needing two rooms and adapted things around the house.

thanks for the input on our wedding but actually ours is very low compared to the median price of weddings in the uk or Essex itself. We won’t be using all our savings though.

@Whapples apologies I obviously had no idea of your extra needs and being unable to work any extra hours.

Given all that extra information you will need to bypass the first few rungs of the ladder. This means you will probably need at least 3 times the deposit of a 1st time buyer or move to a cheaper area. All of this will take more time

It is definitely possible. You have 4 years, in 4 years we saved 140k and I was earning pretty much the same as you (husband was earning more though, around 38k). Though we both took on additional part time jobs to increase our income.
We didn’t live with parents so still had rent to pay, and we had no help from family with our deposit.

Something needs to change and fast. We had a house but sold up before a big move as we moved to more expensive part of country for work. We pay over 2k per month to rent in a decent area but house is dated. We have about 35k saved up but it's nowhere near enough for a mortgage here, where our teenagers go to school.

For me, luck. And being in right place at right time. Can’t even say different.

The deposit on our first home (15years ago) was only 5% of the house value. We didn’t have enough saved at the time so my parents took out an unsecured bank loan in their name and gave me the money, and I paid the direct debit.

Home ownership isn’t the be all and end all.

I would work very hard at find another job to increase your incomings. 1,800 a month is a very low wage.

I honestly don't know how people buy a house now. I bought at 18 yrs old a family 3bed for £55k, sold for double then bought another for £150, sold for £185 then bought current home large 4 bed detached for £199 in 2005. Now worth about £450k. I certainly would not be able to buy this house now if I was just trying to get on the property market.

Do you think? I get about that. I guess it is now I think about it. I am M.A Level qualified too, I've just never managed to find anything better paid.

I bought a (small) house on this wage. I am in the north though.

£1,800 net per month is £25k per year gross.

This is the average UK salary. It is not "very low".

The key thing is to have a plan to boost income and reduce expenditure. That way savings can happen. And the key is to expect it to take several years and accept that lots of sacrifice is invovled.

If you’re not willing to plan ahead and to make sacrifices, the chances are you’ll never raise the deposit. Recognising in the plan that having kids reduces the ability to earn more and also to reduce expenditure is pretty important. Of course some people who have kids before they buy, manage to buy…but many many report how much harder it is.

Ultimately, it’s a case of having a lower standard of living now and for a few years. Not everyone seems to be able to tolerate no holidays, no expensive nights out, not having a newish car or living in shared accommodation. Some people feel they cannot live without regularly having their nails done, spending £50-100 on a night out, or replacing their car with a new finance deal every 3 years.

Attitudes to money in early adulthood are actually really important. Some people have zero family help, but know that in their 20s they need to work hard and possibly 2 jobs, live frugally and probably at home for longer than they’d like, and delay having kids. Others have no sense of these things. Instead, they want to party party at big expense and sometimes have a couple of kids in their early 20s. Those things are all fine in themselves, but sometimes people don’t seem to recognise the financial consequences of those choices.

As this is a parenting website, I’d say we need to educate our kids a bit more about the size of deposits needed and how these can be achieved over perhaps 5 years on fairly lowish salaries. It’s their choice about if to listen and follow-up or not, but we should at least tell them….because it seems the basic information isn’t obvious to lots of people.