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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m never ever ever buying a house. How do people even do it?!

366 replies

misstartan · 30/04/2023 16:57

I’m 26 and I just feel like giving up. I currently flat share with a friend but want to move in with DP soon.

I have £2500 saved up and that’s it. DP has about the same so we’re nowhere near a deposit. We’re both earning a decent amount but we’re not putting enough away. I’ve tried budgeting etc and put about £300 a month away if I’m lucky.

But realistically deposits will be around 30k now, so I’m only about 28 away… 😂😭

Thing is, I’ve always had it in my head that I’d have bought a house and got married before I have kids. And I’ve always wanted to start having kids by 30. Only gives me 4 years..
I genuinely genuinely do not see how this is going to happen and it really upsets me 🙁

How do people do it?! The

OP posts:
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PrettyMaybug · 30/04/2023 21:49

This reply has been deleted

We're taking this down whilst we have a look behind the scenes.

Probably up north, or in West or North Wales, or certain parts of the Midlands. There are quite a few £99K properties out there. Even that is a lot though really (for many.)

PrettyMaybug · 30/04/2023 21:49

Actually, there ae some houses even cheaper than £99K.

PrettyMaybug · 30/04/2023 21:50

*are

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 21:50

PrettyMaybug · 30/04/2023 21:49

Actually, there ae some houses even cheaper than £99K.

Where????

Hungryfrogs23 · 30/04/2023 21:54

It is frustrating how much harder it is to buy a house now than it used to be, but I do think you need to amend your expectations to begin with.
Starting with a flat, 2 bed semi, shared ownership are all good ways to get on the housing ladder more cheaply and start putting your money into an asset rather than renting.
Like most things in life, unfortunately you have to start at the bottom and work your way up unless you have family money/help/inheritance etc.
We were in a similar position, bought a small property to begin with and gradually have worked our way up to our "forever" home. It has been a slog, but you can get there :)

ComicClassic · 30/04/2023 22:04

Staffordshire/ Cheshire

Flats 65k

3 bed maisonette 82k

2 bed bungalow 125k

2 bed, 2 bath terrace 125k

ShortDaysLongNights · 30/04/2023 22:09

I bought my first house with my then boyfriend about 10 years ago. On reflection, what probably helped is that we were still living like students (moved together straight after uni) and essentially never allowed ourselves to have access to our full salaries and had direct debits set up straight into saving accounts. Also helped that we lived together and therefore shared all the bills and didn't need a car.

Car and petrol are a relatively high percentage of your salary - do you commute for work? Would you consider moving closer to work whilst saving up up looking for something near by?

StillWantingADog · 30/04/2023 22:14

At 26 time is on your side.

living as a couple is generally cheaper than being a single person in a shared house- you can make do with a 1bed flat for starters. You should be able to save more-£10k between you per year should be achievable

however the truth is most people get some kind of family help. In our case an inheritance made a huge difference.

Veryxonfused · 30/04/2023 22:18

Me and partner bought a house at 22 & 23 in 2021. We didn’t get any inheritance/money towards the deposit but we lived with my parents and just paid board for 2 years to save up for a deposit. We also didn’t get cars on finance etc & we used a lifetime ISA to top up savings.

adarkbarking · 30/04/2023 22:18

Time isn't on your side at 26 if you can't afford a house deposit but are dead set on buying a house before TTC. This is why I'd prioritise TTC and then work out the rest of it. I'd also get married.

user1497787065 · 30/04/2023 22:22

My DS has about 40k saved. He doesn’t waste a penny but as he will be purchasing on his own he will need to have a 50% deposit to bring the mortgage payments and living costs to an affordable level for him. My DH and I both owned our own properties individually when we met. It is so hard for young people.

Veryxonfused · 30/04/2023 22:22

Veryxonfused · 30/04/2023 22:18

Me and partner bought a house at 22 & 23 in 2021. We didn’t get any inheritance/money towards the deposit but we lived with my parents and just paid board for 2 years to save up for a deposit. We also didn’t get cars on finance etc & we used a lifetime ISA to top up savings.

Also to add to this my brother rents and is no where near buying a house and we come from the same background .. but that’s a result of choices he made. I would have loved privacy and to have our own place immediately after leaving uni but you do have to make sacrifices. Of course a lot of people don’t have the option of living with parents but many do.

also don’t TTC before buying a house if you can help it, you’ll make it soooo much more difficult for yourself.

Twillow · 30/04/2023 22:27

It is absolutely a lot harder than it used to be, but you need to think differently if it's 100% your goal. I know several Polish families, for example: that have moved here with nothing and worked their bloody socks off, done 2 jobs or shared a property with another family or learned a trade and developed a run-down house that they could then sell on. Not necessarily waited until life was perfect to have children either. No good sitting around waiting and spending money on 'stuff' or takeaways (not saying you do) but instead thinking about what sacrifices will move you forward. I earn less than you as a single parent and save £250 - 300 a month, for example. I'm motivated to get my awful kitchen replaced! Look into those banking apps that you can set a goal and do little drip feeds into.

Twillow · 30/04/2023 22:31

HipHipCimorene · 30/04/2023 20:53

I m an architect. Was on a good salary, but I was 33 before I could afford a property.
Had to move out of London and buy a wreck. Pebble dashed ceilings, no doors just one at the front. Some rooms had the floors ripped out. No heating, single glazed glass missing. It had been rented for 20 plus years with landlords abroad so no maintenance. This was 1999.

It has never been easy. It’s harder now. But if you search for a wreck, look at auctions and make an offer before the auction. They may then wait for you to sort out the mortgage. Move to somewhere that you can afford. Depends how willing you’re both to make sacrifices.

Do you mean artex ceilings? Or actual pebbledash inside 😱

ComicClassic · 30/04/2023 22:32

It is a lot easier to work multiple jobs or overtime when you have no dependants human or animal

It is easier to live simpler in a smaller space

You need to decide what your priorities are

If you want to buy, then you will need to make some sacrifices & for a time period

I have read that some people old & young have moved into living in vans, because it saves paying rent & council tax

PrettyMaybug · 30/04/2023 22:32

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 30/04/2023 21:50

Where????

Google is your friend.

Sammyandtheboocas · 30/04/2023 22:34

Me and my partner could barely save £200 a month between us.

I guess we could have scrimped and saved more, but we were not prepared to waste our young and free years together living in a hovel with no social life or holidays. That would have been bloody miserable.

In the end, my mum suddenly revealed she had been saving on my behalf ( with absolutely no hardship), and other parents and grandpatents chipped in to get the 25k we needed.

We will be forever grateful, overwise we would still have the insecurity of renti g but now with a child, or be in a council house or flat.

I think if we had stricter laws which favoured tenants, like they do on the continent, with long term leases and notice periods, there would be less importance put on home ownership here.

WombatChocolate · 30/04/2023 22:40

It is hard. To save a deposit you need a long term plan,to be willing to make serious sacrifices and to accept that the first thing you buy will be small and possibly not where you’d like to buy. If you earn reasonably and are willing to do these things, you should be able to buy in a few years.

So, are you willing to both move back home to live with parents, so you can save on rent and significantly increase your savings? If this isn’t possible, due to living nowhere near parents, are you and partner willing to rent a room to share, in a shared house?

Are you willing to each take on an extra 10-15 hours of work per week in evenings or weekends? This will boost savings?

Are you willing to forgo holidays and other expenses such as car finance, holidays, takeaways etc?

Are you willing to look at cheaper areas and 1 bedroom flats?

If you earn reasonably and do these things for 4-5 years, I think you’d be able to buy a flat.

The trouble is, people who are 26 like OP, seem to want a family home and to want it right now, without making sacrifices. Many don’t make sacrifices but spend a lot on rent and an expensive lifestyle which means they only increase their savings by a tiny amount…..and by 30 are no better off than at 25. By 35 they are in the same position and often now have 2 kids and now need a family home, not a 1 bed flat.

I agree that buying before kids makes all the difference….even if it’s a small flat. Those who have kids young, whilst in rented will have a much harder job to buy in many areas of the country. Those who spend their 20s saving hard and not living in expensive rentals, will usually afford something if they are in a couple, earn reasonably . If people can save £1-1.5 per month, within 5 years, they have £50-75k for a deposit. That will be very hard if renting expensive flats or houses. Living with parents or being in a house share which is cheaper, is probably the only way to achieve this saving rate for many people.

Too often people decide it’s too hard. They save a bit, get discouraged by it growing slowly, so blow the lot on an expensive holiday to cheer themselves up.

New builds, help to buy schemes etc are really expensive. People need to be prepared to consider less good areas, small and run down properties. But too often,people won’t consider these and also won’t really consider making sacrifices. It sounds harsh, but real determination and making a plan to grow the savings and recognising that the first property might not be what you’d really like or where you’d like it to be are vital.

Coconut90 · 30/04/2023 22:49

I've just bought my first house alone at 37... Started saving mid-2017.

SueVineer · 30/04/2023 22:50

You’re only 26. Plenty time to save up. Get a second job and save up.

Coconut90 · 30/04/2023 22:52

adarkbarking · 30/04/2023 22:18

Time isn't on your side at 26 if you can't afford a house deposit but are dead set on buying a house before TTC. This is why I'd prioritise TTC and then work out the rest of it. I'd also get married.

She's 26, not 46.

YukoandHiro · 30/04/2023 22:53

You're 26. My husband didn't get on the housing ladder til his mid 40s.
You have absolutely ages.

Redbone · 30/04/2023 23:01

I’m lucky I’m in the over 45 bracket and was able to buy a 3 bed semi ,with my partner at the time, with help from both sets of parents. ( our mortgage was about 3x our joint salaries.) When we split I bought him out. The house now is worth about £450,000. No way could I do that now!

Whapples · 30/04/2023 23:04

I’m 26 and in Essex and have looked to buy so feel I can weigh in a little 😂
I work part time in a respectable job (not paid brilliantly but decent) and my partner has a full time job that pays well (£35k pre tax as of his new promotion)! We’ve been together 10 years and rented alone for the last 6. We’ve looked to buy for the last few years but it’s just not been feasible. We don’t have enough saved (roughly 10k in total between us). We have looked at new builds where you buy half and pay mortgage and then rent the other half but can’t even afford the deposit on that. We aren’t looking at anything amazing - just 3 bed houses with a garden. Not fussy about anything else really! But we can’t even get a mortgage on something like that if we wanted to own totally anyway!

I really do sympathise and have no answers! We’ve decided to relax about it for now and put our savings towards getting married instead. We want kids in the next 5 years and plenty do it in rented houses so that’s what our current plan is. We will still save but we aren’t going to put our lives on hold anymore.

HipHipCimorene · 01/05/2023 00:48

Twillow · 30/04/2023 22:31

Do you mean artex ceilings? Or actual pebbledash inside 😱

No I really do mean pebble dashed. The same stuff they used to put on the external walls.