Want to cut off friendship but other people won’t leave me alone!

[oasissummerfruitss]

So I had a friend, let’s call her B who was part of a small friend group of four of us. I am 26 and she is 21 so a fair bit younger.

As time went on, I realised B was really dramatic about a lot of things, including boys and dating always bringing problems to us which was quite exhausting. Only ever wants to go out and get drunk. She’s very “in your face”, constantly taking tiktoks and videos, just a very over the top person.
Now this is absolutely fine, I think I just realised we are very different and she’s not my type of person. I’m settling down and enjoy drama-free friendships.

B noticed I’d been a bit distant with her, and I was honest. I said she’s done absolutely nothing wrong but I just felt we were very different and that may be why I’ve been distant. I never said I wanted to cut her off or anything. Fair enough it’s not nice to hear but she completely kicked off at me, had a huge go at me. Tried to get all my friends against me - and then completely ignored my birthday. Didn’t even say happy birthday.

So at this point I was done. She’s not said a word to me since, and neither have I. She’s tried to consistently upload things about fake friends etc.

But the problem is mutual friends. We have a group chat of the four of us - the other two keep posting “let’s all meet up soon!” But I know for a fact she’s told them to do it.
I have another unrelated group of friends, who she has met a few times, who I invited to watch my bf play sport with me yesterday - i then get a text from one of the guys saying “B is asking if she can come, can she?”. It’s just getting exhausting.

its just not a friendship I’m interested in sustaining but I feel so much pressure from people to maintain it. Also, she’s made zero effort to contact me after ignoring my birthday, yet seems to be getting everyone else to do it.

AIBU??

But the problem is mutual friends. We have a group chat of the four of us - the other two keep posting “let’s all meet up soon!” But I know for a fact she’s told them to do it.

Well yes, she's as much a part of this first group as you are. If I was her I'd have been saying to the other two 'I'm coming to everything! Don't stop inviting me to stuff! I'm not being phased out'

With the second group I'd just reply ' B and I have fallen out so she can't come and watch my boyfriend' because that's the situation. Before, you could have told this other friend that B and you aren't that close but that ship has sailed.

You've run the risk of both groups doing things with B and without you now.

It's hard to know whether you've done the right thing or not as you didn't actually say what you actually said. If it was along the lines of

'How come we aren't spending time together anymore'
'I can't be arsed to go out drinking so I don't come'

then that's fine I think. But it sounds like you went further and now you can't upset why she's furious with you.

I can't see much of a way out with the first group, I think you should step away from it really.

You can keep her on the peripheral week to week for your own sanity and at arms distance.

She can in her own life, but not in this group. The 21 year old is as much a part of it as the OP is.

You don't need to teach OP how to heighten the drama, she's clearly a pro already.