Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel completely traumatised by this

53 replies

spiderupset · 30/04/2023 13:16

I have an awful phobia of spiders. I can’t explain it- I know they’re small, harmless and great insects for catching flies etc- but I absolutely despise them. They way they run makes me feel physically sick to my stomach. I’ve desensitised myself over time and got to the point where I can tolerate them being on the wall/ceiling/floor as long as I am well away from them but still in the same room. It doesn’t sound it but that’s a big improvement- previously I couldn’t be in the house if I knew there was one in there. I saw one in my room and slept at my boyfriends house for 2 weeks until he found it and removed it. So being able to tolerate them was a big step up.

but today I woke up, went downstairs for breakfast and I felt a weird sensation on my neck. I thought it was a wispy hair so I sort of brushed it and it went away. Then I felt it again followed by a really sharp pain so I went to the mirror and there was a giant spider (not being dramatic, it was one of those big house spiders) crawling up my neck and onto my chin. I swear my soul left my body and as you can imagine I screamed the house down and just about started convulsing and the spider fell off me and ran away.

even after it was off me I was hysterical and my boyfriend basically had to calm me down. I’ve never felt so upset in all my life. I worked myself into such a state and had to take my inhaler. I immediately scrubbed my skin with everything I could find under the kitchen sink and I still feel so dirty and horrible. Never mind the fact it nipped me which bloody hurt too. But the idea a spider was crawling on my skin and I had no idea, and that moment of seeing it on me in the mirror was completely utterly traumatising and I honestly feel so horrendous now. I don’t want to think about it but I can’t get it out of my mind,

I know nobody can help specifically but I just wondered if anyone had any advice about how to feel better about it. I know it sounds dramatic to say I feel traumatised but I do, it was absolutely awful

OP posts:
ElfridaEtAl · 30/04/2023 13:23

I am the same as you OP and I always have been. My mum and dad tried all sorts when I was younger to help me get over the fear but nothing worked and it hasn’t gone away as an adult unfortunately 😩 I hate it if DP is out and I see one and have to deal with it myself, because I can’t leave it, I find it worse if it runs off and I can’t find it.
So no, YANBU.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 30/04/2023 13:24

Oh god OP, poor you. Spiders don’t bother me in the slightest, but I think I’d be screaming the house down if that happened to me too.

On the positive side, you had an up close and personal experience with a great big fuck off spider and you didn’t die and nothing bad actually happened other than you got a scare. Have a cuppa or a gin or whatever you like and do something you enjoy to take your mind off it. BrewGin😘Flowers

Chamomileteaplease · 30/04/2023 13:25

I am sure many people will feel sick reading that. I felt shivers up my spine.

It doesn't have to be logical to be scary.

But also, it was on your face, I mean that's too close to home.

HOpefully in a few days the feeling of horror will pass.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 30/04/2023 13:26

Not sure where that kiss came from but go on, you can have it anyway, I’m feeling generous.

mistermagpie · 30/04/2023 13:29

Honestly I'm not that scared of spiders and this would really upset me too, so no wonder you're feeling traumatised.

My ex flatmate had a proper phobia of spiders and it made her react just the way you have. She once had one appear when she was in the shower, it didn't even touch her but she went absolutely crazy running about the flat naked and screaming/shaking (and she was quite prudish about nudity and things so this was very out of the norm). She ended up having some sessions of therapy and desensitisation stuff at a local zoo with spiders and is a lot better about it now, but still I think her reaction would be the same as yours today.

Try to think about it if you can, it's over now and the likelihood of it happening again is very small. But I think a lot of people would find this upsetting so don't feel bad about that.

Madamecastafiore · 30/04/2023 13:29

Bloody hell that's brought back a memory of me being 9 months pregnant and wrapping hair in towel after shower, walking to mirror and feeling water drip down my neck, it wasn't water though it was a beast of a spider crawling down my neck and literally looking at me in the mirror!! Thought I'd give birth there and then 😩

My sympathies for your dreadful experience today. Always shake towels and especially dressing gowns now. Bloody spiders sit there waiting I think to terrorise us!!

Wakeywake · 30/04/2023 13:29

I'm not spider phobic and that story made me shiver. No advice I'm afraid, just sympathy.

mainsfed · 30/04/2023 13:29

Wowsers, I don’t have arachnophobia but that would have terrified me too.

Don’t feel you have to explain it or justify it.

It’s still fresh as it happened today, but you will get over it to an extent.

My mum keeps glasses face up in her cupboard and once I grabbed a glass i n the dark and filled it with water and drank it. There was a massive spider in it and I drank it, it was half in my mouth, half out!

This was 20+ years ago and I am still not fully over it, I check every glass/mug now 🤣

mistermagpie · 30/04/2023 13:29

Not to think about it! Sorry.

Fizzadora · 30/04/2023 13:31

I am not too bad with spiders but if I see one inside I have to get rid of it (one way or another) so I can deal with them, but if that had happened to me I would have been hysterical too.
Just keep an eye on the bite as well, they can be nasty.
Well done though, it's a real step forward to know that you've got through it.

Gettingbysomehow · 30/04/2023 13:32

The biggest spiders on the planet live in rural Bedfordshire. Dont live there.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 30/04/2023 13:34

Keep an eye on the spider bite in case it gets infected or you react to it. I was bitten by a spider in the US. It didn't hurt at the time, but after a week or so I was reacting so badly to it that a fairly large portion of my forearm was blistered and leaking fluid. Antibiotics and a steroid shot from the doctor got it to heal up.

AutumnCrow · 30/04/2023 13:34

Your immediate priority now, OP, should be attend to the spider bite - clean it, disinfect it, and dress it.

Doing something practical will help you feel better as well.

Alittlestar · 30/04/2023 13:35

Oh OP, I'm so sorry that happened to you and I totally get feeling traumatised after seeing it on your face. Like you I used to be so bad that I couldn't bear to be in the same room as one but I've now improved to the extent that it doesn't bother me too much if I see one on the wall, in fact I can now capture small ones using a jam jar and release them outside. The large ones still really scare me though and I would be utterly traumatised too if I saw one crawling on my face.

Sending a sympathy hug your way.

katyperryseyelid · 30/04/2023 13:36

Fucking hell OP, I would have completely lost my shit.

That’s horrible!

nochangeever · 30/04/2023 13:38

Gettingbysomehow · 30/04/2023 13:32

The biggest spiders on the planet live in rural Bedfordshire. Dont live there.

Are you having a laugh? Of course this isn’t true.

The biggest spiders are in Isleworth.

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 13:38

of course you are not being unreasonable to have a phobia. ANd it is a completely natural, evolved phobia, as in prehistoric times your ancestors lived in areas where dangerous spiders lived

BreviloquentBastard · 30/04/2023 13:39

I'm not scared of spiders at all and I still think this would give me a fright so I really feel for you. Of course it's irrational but that doesn't mean it isn't real fear. I fear earwigs more than anything and I think if I found a big one on my neck I'd want to climb out of my skin.

Thesharkradar · 30/04/2023 13:41

I would freak out too and I'm fairly okay with spiders.

Royalbloo · 30/04/2023 13:42

Omg I looked in the mirror once and had a huge one on a towel on my head. I can still feel the feeling I felt and it was probably 25years ago!

Caterina99 · 30/04/2023 13:44

I’m not too bothered about spiders (I mean I don’t love them, but I’m definitely not phobic) and that would traumatise me too!

MistressoftheDarkSide · 30/04/2023 13:44

Another here sending solidarity after a similar experience....

I'm fairly sanguine about spiders but the furry fat ones stir some kind of residual primeval fear.....

I'd had a minor spat with my late DP and stomped upstairs into the bathroom to brush my hair - wasn't looking at what I was doing, just grabbed the hairbrush off the top of the bathroom cabinet and started to brush .....

Became aware of a sensation on my face and looked in the mirror to see a furry grey wolf spider covering my cheek.....

I jumped so hard it fell off went to ground behind the sink leaving me hyper-ventilating on the edge of the bath for a good ten minutes, followed by residual shaking for another half hour.

I respect them, I won't harm them, but they can keep their distance....

Hope the bite is minor and you feel better soon x

TroysMammy · 30/04/2023 13:44

I'm not bothered by spiders, I had a pleasant dream last night about trying to find a black tarantula that had escaped but I would have been totally freaked out by one on my person.

willWillSmithsmith · 30/04/2023 13:54

You poor thing you are definitely not alone in finding it a traumatising experience. I don’t have any advice as I’d feel exactly the same, just hope it helps to know that you haven’t over reacted and many here can empathise/sympathise. 💐

katyperryseyelid · 30/04/2023 13:54

nochangeever · 30/04/2023 13:38

Are you having a laugh? Of course this isn’t true.

The biggest spiders are in Isleworth.

Show quote history

I once saw one that was the size of a side plate in a village just outside ipswich, so I am afraid you are both mistaken.

My dog saw it and ran away like Scooby Doo.

Swipe left for the next trending thread