To feel completely traumatised by this

[spiderupset]

I have an awful phobia of spiders. I can’t explain it- I know they’re small, harmless and great insects for catching flies etc- but I absolutely despise them. They way they run makes me feel physically sick to my stomach. I’ve desensitised myself over time and got to the point where I can tolerate them being on the wall/ceiling/floor as long as I am well away from them but still in the same room. It doesn’t sound it but that’s a big improvement- previously I couldn’t be in the house if I knew there was one in there. I saw one in my room and slept at my boyfriends house for 2 weeks until he found it and removed it. So being able to tolerate them was a big step up.

but today I woke up, went downstairs for breakfast and I felt a weird sensation on my neck. I thought it was a wispy hair so I sort of brushed it and it went away. Then I felt it again followed by a really sharp pain so I went to the mirror and there was a giant spider (not being dramatic, it was one of those big house spiders) crawling up my neck and onto my chin. I swear my soul left my body and as you can imagine I screamed the house down and just about started convulsing and the spider fell off me and ran away.

even after it was off me I was hysterical and my boyfriend basically had to calm me down. I’ve never felt so upset in all my life. I worked myself into such a state and had to take my inhaler. I immediately scrubbed my skin with everything I could find under the kitchen sink and I still feel so dirty and horrible. Never mind the fact it nipped me which bloody hurt too. But the idea a spider was crawling on my skin and I had no idea, and that moment of seeing it on me in the mirror was completely utterly traumatising and I honestly feel so horrendous now. I don’t want to think about it but I can’t get it out of my mind,

I know nobody can help specifically but I just wondered if anyone had any advice about how to feel better about it. I know it sounds dramatic to say I feel traumatised but I do, it was absolutely awful

I'm fine with spiders. I am the 'spider removal person' for my family, DP's family, DS's girlfriend's family, and the neighbours.

I should get a van and start a business, like SpiderBusters. Except I release them back into the wild unharmed which isn't always popular. People seem to want them nuked from space.

So you really aren't alone, OP.

I really feel for you, I used to be the same with wasps and ended up putting myself in danger, jumping out of cars. I used to be traumatised. I had hypnotherapy for it, and I still don't like them, but I can cope. No one has the right to judge you or say you are being unreasonable as they don't understand that you cant control your physical reaction to the fear. I would recommend hypnotherapy.. xx

I think a LOT of people would be traumatised by that. Spiders are terrifying. The worst experience I had was sitting on the sofa, putting the throw over me and seeing an enormous spider on the throw. I ran out of the room screaming and it didn't even touch me! So if one ever was on my actual body, I would probably die.

In about 24 hours or so, you will develop superhuman strength and if you put your hand out flat (palm up) and fold in your second and third fingers to your palm, don't freak out if some webs issue from your wrist area. You should be able to use these to your advantage and your daily commute will take mere minutes going forwards. Your local council may not appreciate all the extra dusting they will have to do to get rid of these webs from the sides of buildings but hey ho.

That said, I too would freak out if the situation you described @spiderupset happened to me.

I don’t mind spiders particularly (weirdly it’s slugs I find utterly repulsive, I have that same visceral reaction you describe, even though I know rationally they can’t hurt me), but I’d also still have found that a horrible experience. All my kids have been a bit wary of spiders, one bordering on fear, and that’s despite DH and I not being bothered and always being matter of fact about them- so I always think it must be a very natural survival instinct to have that fear of them. Sending sympathy, please don’t bear yourself up over your reaction though, it sounds horrible.

Omfg I felt sick just reading your post OP, I would honestly be totally traumatised I don't give a shit how dramatic that sounds to people. I don't mind them on the walls if it's a small one, the big things they need removed outside, anything with the tiny pinhead bodies and long thread like legs need removed! I hate daddy long legs, they freak me out, especially when they hang from the ceiling with one horrible spindly leg 🤢😱
I read about people having spiders about and they leave bits of food and give them names etc and I would love to be this chilled and kind to the wee ugly monsters, but just no!
I'm itchy now! 😫

the same as you and a massive spider was obviously my leg, I brushed it off like you before i realised and immediately threw my trousers off and screamed and screamed. I don't think it's dramatic or hysterical, just a normal response to something that at some point in our evolution we needed to be wary of spiders. Plus they are creepy looking.

only time helped. I kept out of my bedroom (where i left my trousers for over 2 weeks) and slept with the kids.
can your dh take it out? I kept shivering with distgust for a couple of weeks. eww

That made me go
Cold too! I hate them!!

I got quite frightened by huntsmen spiders because I saw my mum and brother in Australia (mum emigrated and brother lived the other side for a year to work abroad). I asked my brother at Christmas this year if he's ever seen a huntsman out there and he said only a dead one which was inside the light fitting above the bed my boyfriend (now DH) and I stayed in for a WEEK!!!! it probably lived there when we were there as my brother was only there about 3 months 😱😱😱😱😱

I feel for you op. My MIL has a phobia of snakes, one like yourself, a proper phobia. A work colleague dropped a plastic snake on her desk to scare her, it meant she had a bit of a breakdown and almost passed out, she ended up having to go home for a few days. It's awful.

@nochangeever @Gettingbysomehow nope. Not true. They live in Devon. Specifically in my house. I've had to add mesh to my windows to have them open. I once got up from the settee, the corner seat and there were two on the wall where my head had been 😮 you couldn't have fitted them under a standard pint glass. They. Were. ENORMOUS 😭 I can share a photo if you like but not sure it would go down well on this chat 😆

This has to be an exaggeration, surely?

No British spiders are that big !

I’m still traumatised by being chased by a bee 20 years ago. I had to be escorted onto a train by a guard I was so upset.

I'm not scared of spiders but that would send me into a panic attack too. I think that would be a normal reaction for most people ❤️ I would try not to associate it as an over reaction from your phobia, if that makes sense, try to normalise it as a perfectly normal reaction and find comfort from that if you can. Not sure on the bite, I don't think they can cause any toxic harm (if it was just a house spider) but I'd ask someone else to Google it to see if it's anything to be worried about. Don't Google it yourself incase it freaks you out more!

Ok so I googled out of curiosity: 'Can spiders bite? All spiders can bite - that's how most subdue and kill their prey - but only a small number have fangs that are strong enough to pierce human skin. Spider bites are quite rare, so there is generally no cause for concern if you see spiders in your home.' Seems you've been one of the unlucky ones, symptoms are a small bump/rash and to seek medical help if it's causing any issues a few days later ❤️

I would’ve said the same except my friend lived in Ipswich and sent me a pic of a spider that big she found in her bath and I nearly vomited.

YANBU, it was a horrible experience for you.

Take it easy and it will pass.

And that's the reason why we need to keep guards on trains and at railway stations.

Phobias are AWFUL. You will feel less upset over time though. Try your best to think of other things. I’ve had horrible spider incidents that have made me want to burn the house down at the time, but now I can (honestly) look back on it as a funny/scary story to tell people.

Definitely not an exaggeration. I'm in the NW and after walking into my bedroom, I noticed a huge spider on the wall. I eyeballed it while hyperventilating because I've never seen one so big before. I imagined trying to get a bowl over it and thinking there's no way it would fit. In my freak out, I threw a towel at it hoping it would squash it but it just fell and ran out of my room into the bedroom next to it. Kept that door closed for weeks and had my DS stay in my room. No idea what came of it when I eventually braced myself to go into 'its room.' Didn't see it anywhere.
Never seen one that big since. I blame Sellafield 🤷🤣

Can everyone stop telling spider stories on this thread please! Not what OP needs right now. Stories about fluffy kittens, yes. Scary spiders, no. 😁

Horrible.

I'm not afraid of spiders. I won't pick them up in my hand but I am happy to scoop them up in the glass I keep for capturing them and removing any.

However, I found one on me one morning that must have been on my dressing gown when I put it on and I was pretty freaked out by it.

For anyone with a phobia, like you OP, I can imagine it really must have been truly terrifying.

No advice except to say take it easy, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

OP, I feel traumatised just reading that.
Take it easy, watch something like a movie to take your thoughts somewhere else for a while and a lot of self-care, comfort and tea. What a big, big shock that must have been.

Perhaps try some hypnotherapy sessions?

Honestly, it’s legs were so fucking long.

I don’t mind spiders - I’ve even held a tarantula, but nobody wants a spider on their face!

I was tidying ds’s room recently and he’d left a note next to an upturned deodorant cap saying “mum, don’t move this - GIANT spider inside!” I just popped it out the window but it did make me laugh that he’d thought to give me a warning😂

Sorry to hear about that awful experience! Fellow arachnophobe here. One time, I'd just got out of the bath and a giant beast climbed up my towel and onto my back. I spotted it in the mirror and completely freaked...vomiting, hyperventilating, the lot. Some time later, I tried a few sessions of EFT (emotional freedom technique, ie tapping pressure points), which is supposed to reduce the panic response. It didn't work for me, but I'd be willing to give hypnotherapy a go. Hope the rest of your day is considerably more pleasant!

I think your best bet is to process what happened. You can’t change what happened but you can change how it affects you. You are in control of your feelings, not an insect that has such a tiny brain.
Look in the same mirror. “Brush” the spider off you again ( obv there’s not one there but make the motion) Say out loud it’s gone, I dealt with it.
Do this several times. Might take 6 times, might take 26. If it makes you feel better you can stamp your foot squashing the spider in your mind.
Each time you “ brush” that spider off you make it smaller and smaller in your head. The last time you do it laugh, swear if you want. You dealt with it. You win.