Philippa Perry's answer to a lazy DH - speak softly to the poor lamb, you menopausal harridan

[HangerLaneGyratorySystem]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/apr/30/my-husband-wont-lift-a-finger-to-help-me-should-i-stay-or-go

This isn't sitting well with me at all - I am often gobsmacked at her advice in general but she seems to be telling this lady to be nicer and more understanding, and get herself checked out (as surely if you are cross cos your husband is a lazy twat then there's something wrong with YOU!)

" ...And if you get HRT and find yourself more tolerant as a result, I do not suggest you let your husband get away with not sharing the physical and emotional labour of the home, but it may give you more patience when you remind him to think about what needs doing and not leave it all to you."

Or she could just say this is a deal breaker, get your finger out or we're going to have to consider our future?

Menopausal harridan?

Have I enabled voting?! I think I'm asking is Philippa Perry being unreasonable! 😂

You are unreasonable expect people to click on The Guardian and give it traffic just as much as clicking on the Daily Mail. I stopped reading them after buying one for 20 odd years as they have lost the plot.

Is anything online is annoying you the last thing to do is give it traffic as those clicks are used as data when asking for a rate to advertisers.

I think the journos plant these articles on found to get clicks

On FORUMS

Is that in the Observer or the Guardian, though?

So I think you’re saying IABU to post. Ok then. Is it just me you object to or is this a new MN rule? Just seems odd as people post with links all the time. I could understand the objections it was a racist rant in Daily Fail.

@AutumnCrow I read it on the guardian website; it might be on both. But don’t click on it.

The two papers share a website, somewhat confusingly.

It's an awful piece of advice. There's no mention of the example and messages being sent to their children, thus continuing the misogynistic culture.

Agree that her advice this week is pretty shocking. The bloke sounds like an absolute waste of space who has no respect for his wife. PP is right that divorce isn't necessarily a magic bullet but it sounds like this poor woman would be much better off without him

And what's this test she's on about to see if you're perimenopausal? Mariela Frostrup was always trying to get women onto HRT as well. No problems at all with HRT, but perimenopause isn't always at the root of every woman's problems

I agree with you. I was shocked and thought it awful advice.
Dear letter writer, you are worth so much more.

Yeah I read this today and was bemused! I don't normally read her column but was a bit wtf today...

I think in the last two weeks I've been taking mushrooms when I've read part of The Observer.

I still have have t forgiven her for that awful book about raising kids. I wouldn't have read it but it was our book club book. She was so smug about what a great parent she was to her SINGLE well behaved child. Ugh it was nauseating.
Her advice is often awful.

She's a classic dick panderer

Yeah I thought that it was awful - he is not going to change - the only bit I thought was good advice was to go away for a week

I made the mistake of reading this when my DC were a bit older. It made me feel very guilty for all the things I'd done wrong, according to her.

Why would you even consider taking her advice seriously. Although a psychologist, she has no idea of what appropriate boundaries look like. She is supportive of her husband who has been very open that part of his sexual fetish is that he gets off on the reaction of the non-consenting public.

I read this earlier and was fucking furious.

I’m not menopausal or peri, just sick to death of some women telling other women to tolerate entitled men. In no universe is a bone-idle man better than no man.

PP doesn't seem to get the idea that you don't need a man in your life to be happy - even as a perimenopausal woman. The reason we get the rage is that menopause takes away our ability to put up with bullshit and entitlement. This is a good thing. Yes, life as a divorced woman with kids is hard - but is is for the most part infinitely better than life married to an entitled lazy man.

Here's her husband at children's cancer charity event: twitter.com/topgirls/status/1642897794338791426?s=20

I do not think she is someone to look to for advice on anything.

I normally like her advice, but not this week.

I don’t think I’ve read it in the same way as you!

Bloody hell that's a joke. I feel really quite sad seeing him with the didlo at the children's event. What possible excuse could there be and why wasn't he told to pull himself together and grow up by the organisers? So yeah, no wonder she's not personally worried about a bit of vacuuming if he's parading around like a dick - literally.