To think my DD 6 is old enough to try a sip of wine???

[Cinderffingrella]

My MIL it utterly outraged...but my parents let me have it VERY watered down from a similar age, and I'm not even going that far. Incidentally, I barely drink....

This thread is getting out of all proportion! The OP was talking about giving a DC a sip of alcohol.If they ask for a sip I can't see the harm-they will view it as something boring and adult, deny it and it becomes forbidden and exotic! If they don't ask for a taste don't even suggest it.
Alcohol has always been a perfectly normal part of the diet.Illegal drugs are not.Adults shouldn't be taking illegal drugs so to equate it with giving a DC a sip of wine with a meal is ridiculous!(The Stones in the paper today are saying that taking drugs is bad for you-goodness knows why they had to wait this long to find out!!)
If your family has a history of alcohol abuse they it is probably not wise to even have alcohol in the house, never mind give a DC a taste, but if you merely like an occasional glass of wine with a meal then it is perfectly responsible to give a DC a sip.It is common practice in France.

TBH - I've never given this much thought. I grew up with a very small glass of wine if we had a 'fancy meal', there is a photo of me as a young child swigging from a bottle of cider, the odd bit of daddy's lager. It was never a big deal, it was something grown ups could have a lot of and we could have a little try.

I did go out and get drunk as a teenager but my sister didnt. I do still go out and get very drunk on occassion but not often. My mother is an alcoholic (although teetotal for years now) as were her parents so I am well aware of the dangers and have always had an awareness about how often, how much and, more importantly I believe, why I am drinking.

Perhaps I'm just a lax parent but I really dont see the odd sip of alcohol as a big deal. It might make no difference to whether they binge drink or not. I think it may help reduce the chances of them drinking behind my back or not being able to talk to me about drinking with their friends which is a very good thing afaic. But thats not why I let them. I dont see alcohol as a Big Terrible Danger, I agree with MP that it is part of a normal diet/lifestyle so why wouldn't I let them have a try if thats what they want?

I think the important thing is to bring them up to be independent and not follow the crowd.With alcohol the choice is ultimately theirs, at 18 you have no control as a parent so it is best to have shown them responsible drinking as a role model in their earlier years,including tasting.
I don't like the attitude to drink in this country. If you want to get a funny 18th birthday card for a boy who doesn't drink you are stuck! Every joke hinges on going out and getting blind drunk.

Pesha - if you had lived with an alcoholic then you would probably would see alcohol as a Big Terrible Danger.

My DH is an alcoholic and we believe it was partly caused by his family background and their approach to alcohol. We certainly will not be repeating that approach with our son and we do not have alcohol in the house.

We will be educating our son on the dangers of alcohol and at some point I am sure we will have to tell him about the family history of addiction. I would certainly not be so casual with any child and alcohol. I think my brother is terribly negligent when he gives his 2 year old a sip of his beer and I feel very sad when he and his wife talk about how they can't have a good night without getting pissed.

So no, I would not give a 6 year old a sip of wine. What is so bloody wrong with water?

Pesha, just read that your mother is an alcoholic too. Sorry, missed that first time. I am surprised you don't see alcohol as a danger.

My mother is an alcoholic in denial and we had a terrible time with her. It has ruined our relationship. She used to give me barcadi and all sorts as a teenager under the guise of getting me used to it and I think she was incredibly irresponsible. Of course at the time I thought is was all very cool to have such a relaxed parent. It made not the slightest bit of difference to my relationship with alcohol, I could get pissed openly with my mother instead of doing it in secret with my friends. So be careful...

Am now teetotal.

My MIL would be outraged too as they are completely teetotal! I don't understand your pov at all, there seems to be a middle class view that giving kids the odd drop of alcohol will ensure that they have a responsible attitude to drinking which is complete rubbish.

I can remember that I was allowed the odd sip of babysham (classy drink ) at Christmas and I thought it was brilliant but little did my parents know that I got such a taste for the stuff that I was raiding the drinks cabinet as soon as their backs were turned . Cigarettes on the other hand were a complete no no and guess what I don't smoke!

It really makes no difference either way if she is going to drink she will. Having the odd sip of pinot grigio at home does not mean that she won't get legless and vomit on the streets of Faliraki.

Alcoholism isn't just caused by genes, though, it's also down to exposure and (as we know from observing the continent) culture. If you feed enough alcohol to a person, most of them will over time develop alcoholism. It causes changes at a cellular level (so I believe from my reading - am not a scientist). You can copy the part of the continental culture that people often notice - that children are sometimes allowed alcohol - but you can't transpose a healthy drinking culture when we live in the UK.

About not making it forbidden - so would you be happy if your child liked the taste and wanted more? If your 6 year old wants a whole glass of wine? If you wouldn't allow this, is this not still about making it forbidden fruit? "You can have a little bit but that is all..." If they on the other hand don't like it, why on earth give it to them?

Yes alcohol is a natural kind of substance that people have been using for years, but you could say the same for tobacco, or cannabis.

It is illegal to give ANY alcohol to under 5s - for a good reason - their bodies are not capable of dealing with it. A few sips to a 6 year old is a hefty amount of alcohol, thinking about body size etc.

Totally agree F&Z.

I think the posters talking about family alcoholism are laying a bit of a false trail. After all, there is no hint that the OP is alcholic or anyone in her family is. What she is trying to do is show that alcohol can be enjoyed in moderation - if her dd were to ask for more than a sip then she could simply explain that it is something you drink in small quantities, most often with a meal.

For what it's worth, I grew up in an Italian household where I was expected to drink alcohol - from 2 or 3 years old, I had very small measures of wine with most meals and vermouth in my lemonade. It was completely normal to me and I have never been a binge drinker or had a hangover (in fact, hardly drink at all these days). I think as well as not seeing alcohol as forbidden, I never saw my parents drunk either because they drank in a European way - a negroni on a Sunday morning when friends visited and a glass or two of wine with a meal.

The difference between offering children alcohol and, say, cigarettes is that alcohol has very few side effects if taken in moderation whereas even a couple of cigarettes a day can be addictive and cause health problems. Smoking is also largely regarded as an anti-social habit whereas drinking small amounts is not.

I suppose I view it as a danger the same way I view eating eating too much fatty food - okay in moderation, dangerous if taken to excess and potentially addictive.

I have explained to my dd that too much alcohol makes you feel dizzy and not very well but a little sip if she wants to try is ok. And if she didnt like it well of course I wouldnt give it to her but she wouldn't know that unless she tried!

Like I said I'm not convinced it will make any significant difference to what she does as a teenager either way. But I do think it will make her feel more able to be open with me about any drinking she may be doing as she knows I will not be judgemental and that can only be a good thing.

such an interesting debate. i hardly ever drink, nor does dh, but i do fall on the side that says don't make a big thing of it. i let dd drink coke from her father's glass at two sometimes, in a way i see it as the same.
me and my siblings were brought up in a household where drink wasn't abused, though, so that is different. my parents had a good relationship with alcohol, we were all allowed to try it and none of us is excessive at all. if there were addiction problems in the family... totally different ball game.

Most of the people saying it's ok to have a sip are suggesting that having a relaxed attitude to alcohol will result in children being less likely to want to drink excessively when they are older. But this is pure speculation.

interesting howw this has developed

but i am 99% sure the op was taking the piss

well, it's observation in my case... i believe that's what i saw in school kids in my classes let loose on alcohol for the first time. i was never the one getting riotously drunk because i felt like i knew it was potent.

in fact, i remember asking my mum what i should order to drink as a 15 year old when i was going to sneak into a club as an under-18 (with her permission, it was my friend's birthday party) and she suggested a white wine and soda, lots of soda.

i know that times are changed now, but i was never interested in the whole gallons of bacardi and coke thing because, er, i preferred wine by that stage. or beer (my dad made home-brew). who knows what will happen with our kids though, they'll probably download drugs direct to their brains...

I do think that teenagers who have learned to appreciate a nice wine or good beer will be less inclined to drink the gallons of fortified Thunderbird or Diamond White that my friends and I did when we discovered alcohol.
We drank them because they were cheap and tasted sweet but I couldn't stomach them them now as my tastes have changed a lot.
Alcopops are a big problem afaic because they're just like drinking fizzy pop and you can drink and awful lot of alcohol without really realising it.

I'm all for having a healthy attitude to alcohol but think that 6 is too young, sorry. My parents were the sort who thought it was OK to allow us sips of alcohol at home. At 15 I was plastered on a weekly basis (without their knowledge).

Give 'em a sip of a Fruit Shoot instead.

If the OP had asked if that was OK there would be loads of posts saying don't do it they might want more.

6 is too young IMHO.

I am thinking more along the lines of very watered down wine on a special occasion, but not until around age 14 or so.

Lots of mention of France and how there aren't the social problems with alcohol like there are here. I'm sure I read recently that France has a sky high rate of liver cirrhosis. Not a great advert either, is it?

The Mediterranean diet is acknowledged to be one of the healthiest in the world, it includes wine. I wouldn't give a 6 yr old even as much as an eggcupful but I have given them a sip and that is all the OP is talking about.If DCs see that as a family you have a responsible, moderate intake of alcohol then I don't see the problem. It would be different if you had a family history of alcohol abuse, you would probably be wise to keep off it altogether.
If you are bringing up your DCs to make their own decisions it would seem to sensible not to make a big taboo about it, make sure that they know the problems and help them be strong enough not to follow the pack.My DC who is old enough to drink didn't drink anything until he was well over 18 and now he is a very moderate drinker; since his way to have fun is to run mountain marathons he wouldn't want to compromise his fitness levels.He had sips of alcohol at an early age.

I would definitely give them watered down wine, alcoholism is a lot more complicated than drinking a sip of wine, one does not lead to the other (I say this is as a child of an alcoholic and also as a dependancy counsellor)

I would also give them a puff of a fag if they asked and there was someone around who smoked - my mother did when I was five, it was so truly disgusting that I have never smoked, it really, really worked on me

Ditto brandy and whisky (all spirits) as I was allowed a sip of those too, put me off for life.

I think if it was all to do with genes then I'd be an alcoholic.

I think some things are for adults and alcohol is one of them. I think there is a HUGE amount of showing off as evidenced by people taking photos of their kids with pints or glasses of champagne. I'm not a teetotal - I quite like the odd drink every now and then and dh has let ds try his beer but I was against that. I can't see why children should have any because they are, well, children and we are adults.

I think once they are in secondary school then it's all about educating them about alcohol and then it's a different matter and trying stuff out in the comfort of your own home is probably no bad thing. We can only hope we instil the right values in them - chances are though, they'll all try alcohol before they are 18. We just have to hope that by that stage, we've instilled enough values in them that they aren't downing 10 bottles of alcopops and thinking they are brilliant but I can't see how giving them wine from age 6 would help that.

and it was a pisstake I'm sure zippi, but at least a fairly interesting debate (for a change!).

Why do you think it was a pisstake? Seems like a perfectly reasonable question to ask...

I think it was perfectly reasonable-especially as the replies are a complete cross section of opinion.

I'm still on the fence here. On the one hand, I like a drink (with a nice meal, a couple of evenings a week.)I rarely go out but I was out last night from 7pm til 4am - I dranks 2 pints of beer all night, but I know it would have been very easy for me to drink more.
My boys see us drinking wine and daddy drinking beer more often and I do worry that we are normalising alcohol.
There have been a lot of comments on here about teaching your children to appreciate ''good'' wine, ''expensive'' drinks, but how many teenagers have access to £10+ for one bottle of wine? If they're going to drink it's going to be whatever they can buy most of for least money.
I think we should be very, very careful. Times have really changed since we were growing up with our Snowballs at Christmas....

it was from another thread about tthe aibu topic so people started random ones

but it was quite an interesting disuciion

probably better than genuine ops