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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving something then asking for it back years later

49 replies

0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:28

6 years ago we moved into a rented property when expecting DC1. The landlord kindly gave us two canvas pictures for the wall that he no longer wanted or made use of. He never mentioned wanting them back at any point.

They're quite quirky with spray painted faces on and when DC got to be around 18m he was getting upset by them so we put one away in the cupboard and offered the bigger one to a neighbour.

Fast forward to now our family has grown and we needed to get a bigger place, we've just moved into our new home and are in the process of removing the last few bits from the old place.

Landlord of place #1 has now decided he wants the pictures back. We have one but not the other.

I'm in the awkward position of now having to go and speak to the neighbour and ask if he still has the picture which he's had for years now.

WIBU to pass the picture on or is landlord being a bit U for asking for them back years later?

OP posts:
Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:32

I forgot to add, it didn't occur to me to offer it back to the landlord himself as prior to giving the painting away I asked him if I could return a chair and tables to him that came with the flat when we bought new, he said he didn't have any space for them (he lives on a boat) so to just stick them on freecycle. I assumed he'd have said the same about the (large) canvas.

OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 29/04/2023 11:33

I would have checked rather than assumed in a situation where i was getting rid of something.

strawberryjeans · 29/04/2023 11:34

How odd! It’s only canvas pictures? And he gave them to you. I’d just reply, oh sorry, we left one of them there. If you’d like the other one let me know and I can arrange to post it

Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:40

I've dug myself a bit of a hole as when he popped round one day with a new smoke alarm he noticed the one on the wall was gone and asked whether I didn't like it, on the spot I said I did but it was scaring DC so we're keeping it at my DM's for the time being until he's a bit older.

I never heard another word about it until he text yesterday saying he was thinking about grabbing it from my DM when I had chance. Really out of the blue. I'm not sure if the neighbour even still has it.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 29/04/2023 11:42

I think you were out of order for giving it away without checking with him. Just be honest with him.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 29/04/2023 11:45

Just tell him you don't have them anymore, bizarre situation.

Nevermind31 · 29/04/2023 11:45

Tell him DM has given it away.
generally though - landlords expect things back that came with the place they rented out, unless you had agreement to dispose of it

Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:45

I think I'm going to have to come clean and offer him some money for it. I didn't get anything for it myself but it's about all I can do now.

I feel terrible for passing it on and wouldn't have even thought about it if he said they were on loan or that he wanted them back.

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 29/04/2023 11:45

Was it in the inventory or not. If not, it was a gift and it's tough!

Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:46

Nevermind31 · 29/04/2023 11:45

Tell him DM has given it away.
generally though - landlords expect things back that came with the place they rented out, unless you had agreement to dispose of it

The flat didn't come with them, he offered them to us after we moved in.

There was an old table and one dining chair already there that I offered him back and he said he didn't want it and to put it on freecycle, I (perhaps wrongly) assumed he'd have said the same about the pictures.

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 29/04/2023 11:47

Why did you give your landlord's property away? That's so weird.

I'd explain to the neighbour what a wazzock you've been and hope they see the funny side and return it, or expect to pay for a replacement. Lesson learned!

ChatterMonkey · 29/04/2023 11:48

If it was a furnished let, he perhaps offered the canveses after you moved in as part of the 'furnished' part of the agreement. So he wasnt gifting them to you personally, he was gifting them to the property as part of its furnishings.

Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:49

HeadacheEarthquake · 29/04/2023 11:47

Why did you give your landlord's property away? That's so weird.

I'd explain to the neighbour what a wazzock you've been and hope they see the funny side and return it, or expect to pay for a replacement. Lesson learned!

Weird is a strange word to use.

I was gifted something that became unsuitable so I gifted it on. It happens all of the time but wouldn't have in this case if it was made clear he wanted them back.

I don't think people routinely offer things back to the previous owner if they're no longer wanted, they just take them to charity or whatever.

OP posts:
Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:50

ChatterMonkey · 29/04/2023 11:48

If it was a furnished let, he perhaps offered the canveses after you moved in as part of the 'furnished' part of the agreement. So he wasnt gifting them to you personally, he was gifting them to the property as part of its furnishings.

It was part furnished.

Yes it's possible he saw it that way, although the way it was put across was very much "you can have these if you want, I don't have any space for them"

OP posts:
Deadpalm · 29/04/2023 11:50

I would still expect them to remain in a flat tbh.

Yes you have to come clean

Deadpalm · 29/04/2023 11:51

"you can have these if you want, I don't have any space for them"

That doesn't make them gift imo. That just makes it like you can have use of these

Original poster
0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:53

Deadpalm · 29/04/2023 11:51

"you can have these if you want, I don't have any space for them"

That doesn't make them gift imo. That just makes it like you can have use of these

It's open to interpretation I guess. I do think if you're giving something that you want back you should make the terms clear.

To me "you can have these if you want them, i don't have space for them" implies a gift.

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 29/04/2023 11:57

A landlord putting something in their own rental home I would always assume needs to be returned otherwise you risk paying for a replacement.

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 29/04/2023 11:58

landlord was (a bit) in the wrong for not making it clear whether it was a gift or part of the furnishing of the house he was renting to you.

Summerfun54321 · 29/04/2023 11:58

0hsh1t · 29/04/2023 11:53

It's open to interpretation I guess. I do think if you're giving something that you want back you should make the terms clear.

To me "you can have these if you want them, i don't have space for them" implies a gift.

Show quote history

From a friend, yes. From a landlord, no.

NoName12345678 · 29/04/2023 11:59

It's your landlord though, unless you're actually friends or related then I'd always consider it the landlords property and not yours to give away... there's no way I'd ever see them as a gift...

See if your neighbour still has it and if not come clean - you don't really have much other option...

Deadpalm · 29/04/2023 12:00

Summerfun54321 · 29/04/2023 11:58

From a friend, yes. From a landlord, no.

Show quote history

Exactly

Malarandras · 29/04/2023 12:00

If someone gives you something then it is yours do with as you like. He can’t ask for it back years later!

MargaretThursday · 29/04/2023 12:00

Yes, I suspect he meant have them in this flat, not they're yours to keep.
We bought our furnished house from our landlady. We negotiated over the furniture because that was a separate thing to buying the house. We did get most of it, but there were a couple of items she wanted back.

eliybetty · 29/04/2023 12:04

A little naive to think a landlord would gift you 2 paintings. The best thing is to come clean, apologies and offer him payment

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