Giving something then asking for it back years later

[0hsh1t]

6 years ago we moved into a rented property when expecting DC1. The landlord kindly gave us two canvas pictures for the wall that he no longer wanted or made use of. He never mentioned wanting them back at any point.

They're quite quirky with spray painted faces on and when DC got to be around 18m he was getting upset by them so we put one away in the cupboard and offered the bigger one to a neighbour.

Fast forward to now our family has grown and we needed to get a bigger place, we've just moved into our new home and are in the process of removing the last few bits from the old place.

Landlord of place #1 has now decided he wants the pictures back. We have one but not the other.

I'm in the awkward position of now having to go and speak to the neighbour and ask if he still has the picture which he's had for years now.

WIBU to pass the picture on or is landlord being a bit U for asking for them back years later?

I'll give him a call later and explain, apologise and offer him some money. No idea how much he'll ask for 😬

I think if it was your mother saying that to you, then I would assume a gift. A landlord though, especially one you are renting part furnished off, I would assume they are for the house.

Personally OP,

I'd say you've spoken to your mum and she's so sorry but it got damaged in a leak a long time ago, along with a box of other ornaments and photographs. she had to get rid of them.

So sorry, can I get you another one etc?

You don't need a reference from him for your new place, do you?

What is "rinsing"?

Why would you assume the landlord gifted them to you to own vs had them as part of the rental inventory? Ie that you would not be expected to return/account for the frames?

Because we had long since moved in before he offered them to us.

Because he said we could have them.

Because at no point did he say they were part of a rental agreement or that he even wanted them back..

Did he give them to you, or just hand them to you to hang in the property?
I wouldn't have assumed they were mine in that situation!

Ask the neighbour if they've still got it and explain the situation.

If I were a landlord, and I cared about a canvas picture, I wouldn't leave it in the property.

I think it's pretty sad of him to care to be honest.

I would just tell him the truth and suggest he asks neighbour for it back if he needs it back.

I wouldn’t offer money! I think you were reasonable to assume they were yours to do as you wished with (including giving them away). Landlord should have been much clearer if they thought they might ever want them back.

You can't change what's done now. Everyone makes mistakes at times in their lives so don't beat yourself up over it op. The sooner you ring him and tell him you know longer have it the sooner you can forget about it. You might be surprised he may be ok about it if he knows you are being sincere. I'd do it today and put it behind you

I agree with PPs who say you shouldn't have given the items away. You keep saying they were a gift but this person is your landlord. It's not the same as it might be if a friend had given them to you. You should have checked.

I think the op knows she made a judgement of error no need to make her feel worse than she probably already does about it

I don’t think you were unreasonable to think they were a gift, given the timing of it and the dining table situation.

I would ask the neighbour if he still has it and if not, tell the landlord it’s been damaged at your mum’s place (like someone suggested unthread).

I wouldn't worry until you've contacted the neighbour.

Just explain that you genuinely thought it was yours to dispose of, but now the landlord is being a bit mad & wants it back, so obviously a communication breakdown.

At best, you will get an 'oh yeah - it's in the downstairs lav, when do you want to pick it up?'

In which case, problem solved.

Or you get 'oops...charity shopped it ages ago', or 'well no actually you GAVE it to us & now it is OURS' <unlikely unless neighbour is a massive dick>.

In either case, you just tell the landlord you could have sworn it was in the loft, but oh dear, it's not...you can't swear you didn't store it at your mum's with a load of other stuff actually, & oh no, turns out there was a leak etc etc...

Realistically, it isn't on the inventory. Not much he can do. Lesson to the landlord to be clearer about putting his chattels on the inventory if he expects them back at the end of the tenancy.

I spoke to the neighbour who point blank refused to give it back. He said his wife likes it and has a place for it now.

Offered him money, not interested.

I fessed up to the landlord who was really understanding as far as I go but isn't happy with the neighbour refusing to give it back.

Landlord called the neighbour himself and explained that he needs it back and it was a mistake on my part. He said the neighbour told him no aswell and was "quite threatening"

After threatening to report neighbour to the police landlord decided it isn't worth the hassle so text him saying just keep it.

I guess it's good it's sort of resolved now but I have to ask, if you'd really liked the pictures would you have taken them with you when you left? Did you take the other one?

It's not really the done thing with rentals!

Yes I would have because I was under the impression they were mine to keep, obviously I'd have given them straight back once it became clear that they weren't.

As I said above he gave them to me well after I moved in and didn't specify that he wanted to keep ownership of them. I made a massive misjudgement obviously. I think because I've never rented anywhere that came with anything before. Lesson learned.

The other one was left in the flat as by that point I knew he wanted them back.

Apparently the neighbour has had a change of heart and is going to meet landlord at the property af 12.30 to return the picture. Happy days.

Oh I'm not telling you off or anything. I was just confused. If my LL 'gave' me something long after I'd moved in I'd be polite and take it for the house but wouldn't want to keep it

YWBU. You shouldn’t have given his stuff away on the assumption that because he didn’t want one thing back he wouldn’t want another. What kind of logic is that?

I know he said to forget it but you really should pay him for the painting. You fucked up here.

Seems very odd.

Has the landlord found out they're actually worth money, I wonder.

I've already offered the landlord money, three times. He doesn't want it. He's very understanding and said he should have been clear when giving them to me that they were for the flat and not me, and not to beat myself up about it as he can see it wasn't intentional.

I'm not sure if they're worth much money.