To consider TTC while DH working away

[GrumpyCat3489]

DH has an amazing job secondment opportunity, start end of the year. My job is fab + great maternity benefits so don't want to leave to join him. He'd come back here at the end of the secondment anyway.

The job is 1 hr flight away (but easily a 4 hr trip with border control etc), we would see each other every other weekend. If conceiving goes to plan-ish, he'd be away in my second or third trimester and first 6 months of baby's life. My mum would come live with me and help with baby, no problem there.

We're trying to decide if this would work.

Delaying TTC is an option but age is a consideration...I'm used to being very independent but I might resent him as I'll be doing all the hard stuff alone (mum is not the same as a husband) while he's living his best life in a luxury all paid city central apartment.

Money wise it would be amazing for us long term.

As you'd be on ML anyway, surely the sensible solution would be for you to go and live with him in his city flat with the baby during the secondment?

Sorry, must have missed the bit about getting baby a passport. If you pay for fast track service you could be living with him pretty soon after the birth.

When I had my oldest my DH was working away Mon to Fri and odd weekends in another European country. It was fine until I went back to work when she was 4 months old, then it was a massive slog. It was doable for the year or so that it persisted. I did rely on my parents a bit for support but as they didn't look after my baby it was more to have some adult company.

As an update, we have concluded it's a daft idea. He doesn't want to risk being away and I don't want to be on my own (as amazing as my mum is).

I'm pleased OP I think that's sensible, if you want to put your mind at rest maybe see if you can get a fertility health check done? Not sure if that's just something I've seen on TV but maybe available privately?!

We speak sense 😁

@updin I had a look and apparently you need to be trying for 6-12 months to be looked at. Basically just go have sex and see how it goes.

DH worked away 5.5 days a week when I was pregnant and for the first 18 months of DD’s life. I had no family within 5000 miles. It was fine.

@GrumpyCat3489 if you pay privately you don't have to wait. I can't remember how old you said you were but if you're 35+ it might be worth it.