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Original poster

Is it normal for 30 somethings to go clubbing every weekend?

55 replies

yoloordoyou · 27/04/2023 22:31

I've been speaking to a guy who goes clubbing about 3-4 times a week. He is 33. He openly admitted he has one night stands most weekends, and goes on holiday to places like Thailand where he had sex with several women in one night. So it sounds like the reason for going to clubs is sex.

I haven't been in a club since I was 22, and I think it's a bit odd for someone to do this every weekend if they are over the age of say, 25. No judgement against people who are older and go to clubs on occasion, but doing it every weekend?

I don't think me and him are compatible so I will probably bin the conversation, but am I a boring old fart to think most people in their early 30s are living a quieter life by this point?

OP posts:
Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 27/04/2023 22:35

I was married with a baby, but if I was single I might go out dancing every weekend. That sounds fun.

Not sure what clubbing has to do with sex in Thailand though? Clearly a different issue all together.

Is this someone you are dating?

DoesItHaveKosovo · 27/04/2023 22:36

Clubbing is fine - I’d love to have the energy for that. I know a handful of people in their 30s who party hard each weekend, & I go out with them once or twice a year 😀They’re mostly well off and none of them have children or other caring responsibilities.

The multiple one night stands sounds a tad dodgy.

steff13 · 27/04/2023 22:37

I wouldn't want to have a relationship with him, but to each their own.

QueSyrahSyrah · 27/04/2023 22:39

They're two different issues. Before I met DH I was single for several years in my mid-30s and went out 2-3 times a week with like minded friends ('clubbing' probably one night of those, otherwise pubs and bars).

I didn't have one night stands every weekend - although there were some - and I never slept with several people in one night though.

That would be what worried me about him, not an active social life.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2023 22:40

He sounds absolutely dreadful.

VivaVivaa · 27/04/2023 22:43

Clubbing? Meh, each to their own.

Multiple one night stands including several people per night abroad? Not so much. No matter the age.

HamBone · 27/04/2023 22:43

Clubbing is fine if he has no commitments, but he’ll be starting to get a lot older than his fellow clubbers. 😂

it doesn’t sound as if you’re compatible, tbh.

Divebar2021 · 27/04/2023 22:44

It’s not that I particularly cared to go clubbing once I hit my 30’s but I still somehow resent the idea that I shouldn’t because of my age. The whole notion that things are just for young people is really grating.

YukoandHiro · 27/04/2023 22:44

I went clubbing until I was about 32. After that it all stopped very suddenly. People started having babies

Mariposa26 · 27/04/2023 22:47

I’m 34 and have lots of friends around my age and older who are still out a lot in clubs etc. The others tend not to be as like me they have small children, rather than it being an age thing. I definitely still enjoy going out though!
His shagging holidays are what would be the red flag for me….

Brieandme · 27/04/2023 22:49

I have friends in their 30s and 40s who go clubbing every weekend, but they tend to be the ones who were always there for the music rather than getting wasted, and the 'quieter life' aspect is they drink less and go to clubs where the age group is more mixed (no one wants to be the 35yr old in a club full of 18-20yr olds)

What your friend is describing sounds like a euphemism for something else - maybe swingers clubs/sex parties or fetish clubs? Otherwise I honestly find it hard to believe that he pulls that often, unless he is exceptionally good looking (assuming he's straight, if he were into men the hookup scene is a bit different!)

RampantIvy · 27/04/2023 22:50

He sounds like a walking STI. Bin him off.

HamBone · 27/04/2023 22:52

Divebar2021 · 27/04/2023 22:44

It’s not that I particularly cared to go clubbing once I hit my 30’s but I still somehow resent the idea that I shouldn’t because of my age. The whole notion that things are just for young people is really grating.

Of course there’s no age restrictions on clubbing, but realistically, many people go less once they’re in their 30’s. I like a good night out and I’m 48…definitely oldest person in many places nowadays!

user1471554720 · 27/04/2023 22:52

I went clubbing in my early 30s. I was single and wanted a partner. It was the early 2000s and there was very little internet dating. You HAD to go out if you wanted a partner. I had tried social clubs, sports etc but didn't meet anyone.

It was generally smug coupled up friends who thought it 'odd and immature' to go clubbing in your 30s. It is almost as if they took delight in seeing a single person with no chance of meeting a partner. It suited them to be 'oh so mature' and 'past that stage' as THEY were in their couples.

Beanfield2023 · 27/04/2023 22:53

Maybe he's a late starter - never did it in his youth so it's catch up time

JamSandle · 27/04/2023 22:54

It wouldn't be for me. But I was bored of clubbing by my early 20s.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 27/04/2023 22:55

At 33 myself I just don't have the energy (plus my back hurts too much) to go clubbing every week!

My happy place is in my oodie with a glass of wine in front of Bridgerton. If he's still got it in him to go clubbing each week, power to him. Possibly not at the same place in life as you though?

Slimjimtobe · 27/04/2023 22:57

Well he’s having a good time 😆😆😆I went to pubs / disco bars til I got married in my early 30s

i can’t imagine your acquaintance settling down to dirty nappies and Sunday morning country walks anytime soon/ or ever

AspidistraFlying · 27/04/2023 23:01

I find it hilarious that you seem to think that anyone over 25 should be tucked up with Ovaltine, possibly reading the ads for comfort slacks and and sit-in showers in the back of the Sunday supplements.

Groovychick91 · 27/04/2023 23:04

Going out to pubs/bars/gigs once or even twice per week-fine! However clubbing multiple times at over 30 sounds draining and a bit odd. It's great to enjoy a drink and a fun night out with friends but clubbing that frequently at that age is really excessive and I don't know anyone who behaves like that and I am 30! It is true that on paper nobody is too old, I do think it depends on the venue! Is he going to prism/oceana type clubs that 18-21 year olds frequent on the regular (which is verging on creepy in my opinion if he is) or live music/bars where you can dance? Like a previous poster has said, I think he's testing the waters about your views on swinging and sex parties! If he was trying to date you, I highly doubt he would be telling you about the one night stands and multiple partners per night regardless of whether it is true or not. It all sounds far too hectic for me! I would much prefer a man who has his priorities in order and spends his free time doing productive things such as hobbies/fitness but also enjoys nights out!

89redballoons · 27/04/2023 23:10

I used to go out most weekends until I fell pregnant with my first child at the age of 32. I used to go to gigs, pubs or clubs. I'm 36 now and have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and am also studying and working, so I just don't have the time now but I would if I did.

I didn't go out to meet people for sex though! I was and am into the music and just socialising with friends.

Bk1000 · 27/04/2023 23:10

I would be extremely dubious of anyone who admitted to visiting Thailand for sex tourism! The clubbing wouldn’t bother me much but I know I wouldn’t have anything in common with someone who spent their weekends like that.

Jeannie88 · 27/04/2023 23:12

Used to go to pubs and clubs all the time right through my 30s then 40s more just late pubs. I couldn't imagine back then not going out all the time, loved it, now it's the last thing I want to do lol. X

GeraltsBathtub · 27/04/2023 23:13

I’m 28 and haven’t been clubbing since I graduated. I definitely think it’s something for the under 25s! More importantly though, he sounds gross and his attitude towards women is probably not great.

TheOriginalEmu · 27/04/2023 23:16

He’s a single man. I presume as you’ve not mentioned it he’s child free. Who he sleeps with and how often he goes out to clubs are his business. As long as he’s upfront about what he wants from the people he sleeps with I don’t see the problem.

whether you and he are compatible is a different story and it doesn’t seem like you are. You’re just different.