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Original poster

Is it normal for 30 somethings to go clubbing every weekend?

55 replies

yoloordoyou · 27/04/2023 22:31

I've been speaking to a guy who goes clubbing about 3-4 times a week. He is 33. He openly admitted he has one night stands most weekends, and goes on holiday to places like Thailand where he had sex with several women in one night. So it sounds like the reason for going to clubs is sex.

I haven't been in a club since I was 22, and I think it's a bit odd for someone to do this every weekend if they are over the age of say, 25. No judgement against people who are older and go to clubs on occasion, but doing it every weekend?

I don't think me and him are compatible so I will probably bin the conversation, but am I a boring old fart to think most people in their early 30s are living a quieter life by this point?

OP posts:
Chasingadvice · 27/04/2023 23:17

It's highly likely that the several women he slept with in one night were prositutes OP. These women are being exploited and sexually abused. Unless he's some kind of Adonis I'm sure several women wouldn't have happily slept with him that night. Please stay away.

Malarandras · 27/04/2023 23:17

Never been clubbing, I assume it’s for those in their 20s but don’t know as have zero experience. I’m 38 and I’d rather watch paint dry than go clubbing but that’s a personal choice. It doesn’t sound like you two are compatible really.

TheOriginalEmu · 27/04/2023 23:18

Also i went clubbing far more regularly in my 30s than my 20s. I had tons of small kids in my 20s, by my 30s I was single again and had child free time so went out. Maybe because I didn’t get much chance when I was younger.

cittigirl · 27/04/2023 23:18

AFAIK there's no age limit in clubs 🙄. I'm in my 50s and I still go occasionally. More likely to see me in a lively pub these days though.

Clarinet1 · 27/04/2023 23:19

Well, what ever the rights or wrongs/normal or weird of it, if it doesn’t appeal to you then he’s probably not the guy for you!

MaybeSmaller · 27/04/2023 23:20

I've been speaking to a guy who goes clubbing about 3-4 times a week. He is 33. He openly admitted he has one night stands most weekends, and goes on holiday to places like Thailand where he had sex with several women in one night.

So he's a braggart, probably a liar, and he's a sex tourist who most likely uses prostitutes and is proud of this.

I would suspect that heavy substance use goes along with this lifestyle too.

I don't see this as normal behaviour for a 33-year-old, or frankly anybody of any age.

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/04/2023 23:23

Clubbing sounds fun

Heading to Thailand to shag several women a night is unsavoury

So dump, but not because he likes clubs

Saschka · 27/04/2023 23:27

Pre-kids, DH and I went out most weekends. BUT obviously no one night stands (we were there together). We were going for the music. We actually weren’t even drinking, let alone anything else (you can’t dance all night if you are drunk, you fall asleep).

Did that until my late 30s, and DH still goes out every month or so. We have friends who are out every weekend (mostly single men and gay couples).

I think there is a big difference between going out to a club to see a particular DJ, because you love the music, and going to your local club to pull, and the club is just a handy place full of drunk girls. The first I think is fine at any age, the second is pretty grim at any age, honestly,

Cakeandslippers · 27/04/2023 23:28

So funny that people think it's not normal! Many of my friends did this until mid - late 30s and some older. For those with no kids, living in a big city with lots of options for going out and money to do it, it's not that unusual. It's fine if you're not into it, but it's definitely not odd or weird.

However the sex thing is different, I can't see a link between Thailand and clubbing but regardless I wouldn't be into it all, sounds super seedy and possibly exploitative.

Suprima · 27/04/2023 23:29

You seriously need therapy if you are ‘doubting’ whether you are compatible with this man and need a second opinion about how much he attends night clubs

the man has owned up to being a sex tourist and thinks this is great chat to have with a potential love interest.

why isn’t your first thought ‘block’?

you are honestly not safe to be dating right now.
you have low standards and boundaries if you are querying this.

middleager · 27/04/2023 23:31

I went clubbing until my early 30s, as did DH..The only reason we stopped at 33 is when we had kids.
Now we're 50 with kids off to uni and go out most weekends to gigs drinking and dancing.

SchoolShenanigans · 27/04/2023 23:32

He sounds like a deeply unhappy person underneath it all.

  1. to sleep around in the way he does and

  2. to tell people all about it. It sounds seedy and immature to me.

YANBU. I don't know anyone in their 30s who goes clubbing weely, let alone multiple nights per week.

ZenNudist · 27/04/2023 23:36

Well you don't sound well matched but I know plenty of single men in their 30s and 40s still living like they are in their 20s. I do think think it's fair to say its odd or immature to live it up in your 30s. Equally I'd defend your right to give up on clubbing in your early 20s.

I used to hit it quite hard in my late teens and at uni, and the shine went off it after uni. Clubbing died a death and was never as fun as it had been in the 90s.

This guy sounds like he's living a hedonistic life. Not your scene so get rid before he gives you an STI.

ZenNudist · 27/04/2023 23:36

Sorry do not think its fair to say its odd or immature

Rewis · 27/04/2023 23:39

I don't think there is an age limit for clubbing. If he enjoys it then why not and it is not affecting his mon-fri life. I don't think you have to stop at 25 because someone has decided that's the cut off.

I feel like there are few separate issues. Him going to sex holiday to sleep with trafficked girls. Him going clubbing. Him having one night stands every weekend. Would the ONS be fine if he met them on Tinder and didn't go clubbing? Or that he went clubbing and didn't have ons? Anyways, I wouldn't wanna go out with him if he was sharing me all of this on dates.

VestaTilley · 27/04/2023 23:40

YANBU. Run a million miles from this man. He sounds like a sex addict who shags women and drops them.

I’m 37; I don’t know anyone my age who behaves this way, even including my friends who don’t have children.

Cornchip · 27/04/2023 23:59

I’m in my late twenties. I probably go “clubbing” less than 5 times a year now (usually for someone’s birthday or work do’s). I do have two young children though so even if I did have the night to myself, I just couldn’t be arsed. I do like going out for cocktails/drinks in a bar, though.

My friends don’t have kids yet, they can’t be fucked with it either. They usually just go for dinner and to a bar for drinks with their respective partners.

I’m all for doing what makes you happy, but I wouldn’t be interested in this guy at all if I was single and child free. He sounds like a fuckboy and it just isn’t worth the time spent on him for the heartbreak later down the line.

Julietand · 28/04/2023 00:24

Obviously not every week, but of course it’s fine and normal for thirty somethings to go to clubs! I went to a club for a friends birthday and everyone in there was in their twenties and thirties. Mumsnet is full of people claiming they do nothing but care for babies and never take a sip of alcohol except at Christmas but in reality most people have a night out every so often!

TwoMonthsOff · 28/04/2023 00:29

He’s using sex workers in Thailand I expect. Uuugh

BillyNoM8s · 28/04/2023 00:30

Well, at least he's been honest, I guess...

He's clearly not trying to impress you. Multiple shags after clubbing in Thailand most likely = prostitutes. Miserable, exploited prostitutes.

I wouldn't be able to run fast enough.

raycampi · 28/04/2023 00:33

Yes it's normal to go clubbing in your early 30s.

user1492757084 · 28/04/2023 00:33

He doesn't sound like a keeper or anyone who is interested in settling down to a committed relationship..
Like spends time with like.
He seems to have found his groove.

JoDolce · 28/04/2023 02:28

Almost 58 here & STILL going strong 😁 We're out for the music though & not pulling. If you've got the energy, time, money then there's nothing wrong with going out to a club. Why is it age restricted? I often went out as a youngster until I met my dh, had a dry spell for about 10 years (house, kids). Made up for it a lot mid 30's onwards. I've slowed down a bit now but still go out to a club a few times a year with my friends. We're selective about where we go as we don't want to be with a load of 18 yo. We go to a place where they have New Romantic & Goth nights every couple of months. There is a varied age range, but the older age group is mainly ladies, the older men have given up. The music was our era after all so why shouldn't we still enjoy it! At almost 58 I'm pleased to know we can still stop out until 2 -3 am with the best of them. Dh on the other hand is happy to stay in & leave me to it

MintJulia · 28/04/2023 02:40

At 20 I was a penniless student and had no money for clothes or socialising so clubbing was beyond me. I was either working or working.

We did our clubbing in our late 20s and early 30s because by then I was single, solvent & living in London. I didn't have any one night stands though. 😊

Phoebo · 28/04/2023 02:43

All the one night stands would concern me, for a young person every weekend for clubbing seems ok, but multiples times a week and multiple times a night. Gross imagine the diseases!