To think that most men on Tinder want women

[TheSlowRush]

To behave like a free sex worker?

Is this other’s experience?

Yes, they think they'll try their hand at getting sex for free first.

They'll try sex sites, swingers sites, hook up sites, misuse dating sites etc. In our town they go to bars famed as pick up joints (even though they're often not) and act like the women there are free sex workers too.

I read about fab swingers on here and have into curiosity to see if there is anything in this parochial rural region of the UK; was surprised to find there is. I had to make an account to look; I had about a hundred messages in 24 hrs - I'm mid 40s and put up zero photos.

*gave into

i think that’s true of men in general.

You have to use your own judgement!

What I don't get is why they keep thinking women are up for no strings sex ..... I'd say it's the vast minority. Yet men seem to be incredibly optimistic/delusional about what percentage it is.

I have an acquaintance who has a v high sex drive, she's currently a single Mum, she's looking for a relationship too but does have NSA sex with men off dating etc sites; I presume they base their optimism on the 1 in 20 (?) like her.

Anyway is tinder not generally considered particularly towards the hook up end of dating sites/apps.

Most men on Tinder struggle to get a single match and are invisible.

The men who do well use it to hook up.

I did think that was kind of the point of Tinder in particular - the swiping does turn it into kind of a menu to order from, to a certain extent.

I’m not sure how much the other sites are different - some of this is just the kind of men who use OLD. Lots are not actually single either, so obviously just want a quick shag behind their girlfriend’s back.

Because having casual sex is nothing like buying prostituted women?

I like sex, it's a hobby for me. On a hookup I have a good time, so does the other person. To me sex is a kind of pure space, just humans meeting and being great to each other. People I wouldnt look twice at in the street have proved themselves tender, caring, passionate.

I don't like any money to change hands even when doing non-casual dating for some time, I'd rather do free things until I know the person well.

@PermanentTemporary
Sorry if it's intrusive, but when you say people you wouldn't look at in the street, do you mean that you have hook ups with people you don't actually find attractive or drawn to?

It would seem the straight men have been taking notes from the gays- gay dating apps are an education if my friend’s experiences are anything to go by 🫣

It’s a little bit like Deliveroo- you’d only ever order something from convenience or a snack, you need to go out to have a proper meaningful dining experience. 😏

Not exactly. I found that the ones I thought were good-looking weren't the ones I would have a good time with. The ones who were good at chatting and sexting were the ones to go for. But yes, I'd meet people and have sex with them straight away, having exchanged a few pictures. My desire at that time was to be close to alive breathing people and to disappear into a sexual experience. Tbh most people are much more attractive with their clothes off.

With hook ups I have found them to be incredibly disappointing and have absolutely no interest in satisfying me.

What I don't get is why they keep thinking women are up for no strings sex .....

Because there are plenty of women on the various sites that are.

It's a numbers game, and while there are lots of men looking, and comparatively fewer women, there are still more than enough women also looking and willing to engage with the men.

I don't get how so many people are shocked by that.

I know very very very few.

But there must be enough for them to keep at it. Or hope springs eternal.

Yeah I read that women report most orgasns and most satisfactory sex in LTRs vs ons's.... Where obviously people get very familiar & comfortable with each other, and the men (selfish clueless ones aside) are more motivated to satisfy their partner.

I suppose the 25% of women (generous estimate) who can climax from penetrative sex might have more chance of climaxing and generally enjoying them. The 75% who hedd more effort and preserverence abd learned skill are unlikely to.

*need

If one is to hold to the premise that these men are low effort men, then it stands to reason that their low effort is met with reasonable success, otherwise it would be too much effort for them.

Why do they think most women are up for no strings sex'? because they are men who think like men and believe women think the same. As Julie Burchill succinctly put it "most men would fuck a hole in the ground if nothing else was available".

There are many! Go on the relationships board as I said most women say they sleep with men on the first date 🤷‍♀️

I'm not sure that they're low effort ... More scattergun (?)

I agree that many men think women think like men and vice versa, but equally you'd have thought some would have noticed that many many women don't think like them and that's why there's; eg-

• a shortage of women on sex sites, hook up sites, swinging sites .....
• Pretty much no established/static strip clubs for women
• no static brothels for women
• almost no prostitutes who service women (and if they do it's usually a MF couple)
• and that the vast vast majority of sex offences are not committed by women.
• no equivalent of page 3 for women (I think one of the women's mags did torso of the week but it's a women's mag, not a batik Al newspaper).

I mean it's kinda obvious, is it not.

*national newspaper

I was referring to seeking NSA sex, not dating with varied intentions and shagging on the first date.

I think a lot of those women are actually open to relationships and think it's normal to have sex on the first date or certainly by the third.

It seems like a bit of projection and a lot of hope springs eternal and "if I cast a wide enough net and have no standards, I'll hopefully encounter a woman who's upmfor NSA sex".

(There's another thread with a 46/47 yr old woman expressing her reservations about dating a 30 something man; imho she didn't need to think about dating at all because he's not interested in dating her; he's interested in shagging her. She then expanded that he's sent sexual images and videos and thought she'd be happy and expected some back, before even meeting ... Which confirmed the likely scenario.

I've seen them discussing why they shag older women on forums, it doesn't make for pleasant reading).