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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to sleep on the Mall? 👑

290 replies

PolkaDotMankini · 27/04/2023 19:01

10yo DD desperately wants to sleep overnight on the Mall so she can see the king going past in his golden carriage. I rashly said last year (when I refused to take her to QEII's funeral) that I'd consider it.

But I don't want to. It's raining and cold. It means sleeping on the ground. It will be packed, the loos will be grim and we'll lose our place when we use them. We'll be surrounded by royalist nutters screaming "We love you, King Charles!" and knuckling their foreheads. We'd get a much better view on TV in the comfort of our own home.

I couldn't care less about the monarchy, other than that the parades are cool and I don't see how they could possibly do a worse job than an elected politician.

DD is very disappointed. AIBU to say no and tell her she can go to William's coronation when she'll likely be old enough to sort it out herself?

OP posts:
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Strawberrydelight78 · 27/04/2023 20:40

No way she can have a front row seat at home in front of the TV. Our town is putting entertainment on in the town square throughout the day. They will be screening the coronation live on the big screen. So if the weather is good we'll be doing that.

SingAlongAndItMightJustGetYouThrough · 27/04/2023 20:40

Fuck me. I don't give a shit, I live much further away than you do but I'll take her. At least I'd manage to slap a smile on my face

LimeCheesecake · 27/04/2023 20:43

I am not a Charles fan at all, not sure I’ll even bother watching on the TV - but you said you’d do it so you have to do it - or find another adult to take her in your place.

the point for thinking about if it would be shit was last year when you stalled.

we all end up doing crap to keep our kids happy sometimes, you were stupid enough to promise something really crap and now you have to deliver.

(put your bank card and phone down your bra to sleep if you are worried about theives)

Schabernacker · 27/04/2023 20:43

My ds wanted to go home at the Globe after ten hours, no toilet, no drink, no stopping. I told him over my dead body was I leaving that queue

That is awful. Poor DS.

Namechange828492 · 27/04/2023 20:43

My parents only really like doing things they specifically like and don't really attend "events" and i found it so boring as a child. I would want to attend things and they would always list why it would be crowded/not how I imagined. As an adult i go to everything and do feel like i missed out a bit as a kid, i love my DPs to bits but have made an effort to attend things with my LOs. I took my now 3 yo to see the palace when the queen dued and she still talks about it.

It will be crowded/stations closed/slight pita but will be an adventure for your DD.

Schabernacker · 27/04/2023 20:44

@LimeCheesecake The OP didn't promise anything at all! Why do people keep saying that she did?

Flowertight · 27/04/2023 20:44

‘Oh didn’t we have a luvverly time the day we went to…see a dead woman in a coffin.

Ichosetheredpill · 27/04/2023 20:45

ShirleyPhallus · 27/04/2023 19:02

This sounds AWFUL

Do a special sleepover with her instead, some sort of regal theme and make a big deal of watching it on tv as a little party

Absolutely this.

BlueMongoose · 27/04/2023 20:45

Get her to sleep out on your patio one night when it is p*ing it down to see if she can take it.....nah, just joking, I wouldn't do that, even as someone who really isn't a Royalist and almost certainly won't even bother watching it on TV.

To be serious, I suspect she really has no idea how uncomfortable it will be- or how long you'd need to be there- it could be days- or you might find that as soon as it's allowed to go there, you can't get a space at all, and someone could shove in front of her at the last minute anyway. I think I'd just speak plainly and honestly to her as as you would to an adult and explain why you think it's not a good idea. If you got a bit carried away with the idea when you said 'maybe', then perhaps this is a good time to explain that even Mum gets ideas that don't sound so good when given more thought, and you know how she feels. And maybe you could find a way to make the day more special at home, decorating, special cooking, or dressing up? If she goes, she will see next to nothing anyway, and it would cost a bit, so maybe spend the money on having a 'do' at home instead?

chocolatehoovering · 27/04/2023 20:46

God no!
The tea party idea is better - get her friends round to watch it. She can decorate the living room with flags tat and whatever and everyone can bring some kind of coronation themed food.
And yes, by the time Charles dies and William is crowned she will be old enough to go herself if she wants. He only has to live another 8 years.

Meifly · 27/04/2023 20:46

DyslexicPoster · 27/04/2023 20:39

We all went for the lying in state. The experience of the queue and trudging the 14 hours from the starting park at 10pm to Westminster around 12pm the next day was something totally unique. Seeing Tower Bridge lit up in purple, walking under it at 1am in a big crowd totally safe. But it was hard going. We came out to crowds and a crush as the king and Prince William was there visiting the crowds. It was a bit panic inducing and you couldn't just go where you wanted to. I'd probably give it a try but your child has to be very willing. My ds wanted to go home at the Globe after ten hours, no toilet, no drink, no stopping. I told him over my dead body was I leaving that queue. I had the Migraine from hell when we got home. But the experience, we won't ever forget. I did feel different the next time I walked from Tower Bridge to Chinatown. Remembering that night. Trama? 😅 I don't regret it one bit. But it was as close to survival training I'm willing to get

That sounds awful!

I really try never to judge other parents but your poor child that you would put seeing a dead body over your DS's needs and force him to go through that.

I really hope that he is an adult and old enough to leave by himself but the way you've written that basically sounds like you forced a kid to go through what you describe as survival training, no toilet, no drink etc. because YOU wouldn't leave .

If that's the case then that is absolutely horrible and borderline abusive

LimeCheesecake · 27/04/2023 20:47

True @Schabernacker - she said she’d consider it last year to avoid having the proper conversation at thr time about why she’d never agree to camp on the Mall to watch royals, but clearly worded it in a way that gave her DD the impression she would miss out on the funeral and get to go to the coronation - and then left it until the week before to be clear it isn’t happening.

its too late to finally have the conversation the OP should have had a year ago.

Thegoodbadandugly · 27/04/2023 20:48

You gave her hope now you've let her down. As someone else has said perhaps hold a regal party might be a bit of a compromise.

Ichosetheredpill · 27/04/2023 20:49

My mum and I went to the diamond jubilee boat pageant and it was amazing but that was Her M. and we didn’t camp out. It poured, we all shared our picnics in the rain and jumped every time there was a gun salute from the Tower… Worth every minute but we lived close enough to get there on the train on the day. Would I camp out in London with a young teenage DD so we could do it? Heck, no.

LimeCheesecake · 27/04/2023 20:50

Oh everyone I know who went to join the coffin queue had a lovely time! Loads of people went (to be fair, it’s only 20 mins on the rain from where we are).

Interestingly none of them seem all that fussed about King Charles.

coeurnoir · 27/04/2023 20:51

No you are very much not unreasonable. Introduce her to republicanism 😉

MrsMitford3 · 27/04/2023 20:51

Lots of Coronation themed things-have a party, invite friends for tea. Make a special day of it.

Alternatively you could go to Windsor Castle-they are setting up giant screens on the Long Walk and you'd be at the Castle if she hasn't been there.

Think will be like a big picnic and may give her a special experience

Changeychang · 27/04/2023 20:52

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/04/2023 19:19

I would

She’ll never forget it.

She won’t want to go to William’s because she’ll be 25 and won’t give any more of a shit than you do now.

At her age it will be SO exciting.

25? Do you know something the rest of us don't?

Stravaig · 27/04/2023 20:54

It's a teachable moment. Tell her caring about the royals will liquify her brains until they dribble out of her ears. Reveal the horror show it truly is. Equally memorable 🤷‍♀️

littlefirecar · 27/04/2023 20:54

Schabernacker · 27/04/2023 20:43

My ds wanted to go home at the Globe after ten hours, no toilet, no drink, no stopping. I told him over my dead body was I leaving that queue

That is awful. Poor DS.

That poster just sounds unhinged, her poor kid!

If this is the kind of person you'd be camping with all night OP I'd stay far far away

mdh2020 · 27/04/2023 20:54

Make a party of it at home - Union Jack paper plates, flags, serviettes. Have a picnic in front of the tea. Explain that it isn’t a question of going the night before but three nights before. Tell her there will be another coronation when she is al grown up and she can camp out and watch that one if she still wants to.

Lcb123 · 27/04/2023 20:59

I’m with you - it will be hellish. She won’t remember, and she won’t understand the reality like the crowding etc just for a tiny glimpse. Suggest an alternative like have a special sleepover / party at home with afternoon tea and watch it on TV, maybe with some friends?

ReadersD1gest · 27/04/2023 20:59

DyslexicPoster · 27/04/2023 20:39

We all went for the lying in state. The experience of the queue and trudging the 14 hours from the starting park at 10pm to Westminster around 12pm the next day was something totally unique. Seeing Tower Bridge lit up in purple, walking under it at 1am in a big crowd totally safe. But it was hard going. We came out to crowds and a crush as the king and Prince William was there visiting the crowds. It was a bit panic inducing and you couldn't just go where you wanted to. I'd probably give it a try but your child has to be very willing. My ds wanted to go home at the Globe after ten hours, no toilet, no drink, no stopping. I told him over my dead body was I leaving that queue. I had the Migraine from hell when we got home. But the experience, we won't ever forget. I did feel different the next time I walked from Tower Bridge to Chinatown. Remembering that night. Trama? 😅 I don't regret it one bit. But it was as close to survival training I'm willing to get

😳

NewNovember · 27/04/2023 21:03

Parking at work etc is no big deal don't be so unkind. A big part of parenting is doing things you don't want too.