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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking before school pick up

65 replies

Wowwhatasunset · 26/04/2023 21:13

Is it wrong?
Have you ever done it?

I live abroad and summer is approaching, it’s hot, tourists are here, beautiful days at the beach, lunches out, cocktails etc
Dd started school in September and I started back working part time, including some weekends, it’s all busy and rushed and I’ve worked it so I can have a Friday off.
A couple of friends suggested we started a weekly yoga class and then go for lunch and a glass of something/cocktail
Would this be weird? To then go to school pick up? I’d walk as live very nearby.
Just feel weird about it, getting paranoid a teacher would smell my breath or something 🙈
I would not be drunk obviously.
It just wasn’t the same in the U.K. but it’s v different here.
Aibu to feel weird about it?

OP posts:
Nursejackie1 · 26/04/2023 23:38

ILikePizzas · 26/04/2023 21:51

I thought I'd made a pretty innocent comment, but I see I have attracted the Mumsnet "I take a sip of sherry at Christmas then birch myself" brigade. Blimey. Some people are just desperate to take offence, aren't you?

Show quote history

Ha not offended in the slightest, just pointing out that just because you are in the sun and having alfresco dining etc, whatever you are drinking before you pick up the kids is the same as if someone is sitting on a council flat having a couple of cans first the going down the school in a a onesie. Of course wearing designer gear makes it more acceptable? It’s the same units. Do it if you want? I couldn’t give a shit, just drop the double standards ….

Murdoch1949 · 27/04/2023 04:58

A glass, walking not driving, all fine.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 05:06

"From what you've said I think it probably does fit in with local culture so no problem."
I live in England. Going out for lunch on a Friday certainly "fits in with local culture"🤣

teaandtoastplease · 27/04/2023 05:07

I'm really friendly with one of the school mums who was in the same class as dd2. We live pretty much outside the school gates. We would often have a catch up on an afternoon and have a couple of drinks before pick up. Neither of us got drunk and sometimes we'd take the girls back to play and we'd have another drink because we hadn't finished putting the world to rights. Although it was pretty embarrassing when a teacher told us my friend's daughter had said v is for vodka when they were practicing the alphabet 🤦‍♀️

I don't see any problem of having a drink or two as long as you aren't drunk and you don't need to drive. Life is too short to miss out on cocktails and lunch with friends.

awakeeveeynight · 27/04/2023 06:44

Absolutely fine. I have a group of friends who I have lunch with the last Friday of every term and a few drinks before pick up.

Catspyjamas17 · 27/04/2023 06:44

Sounds great to me.

Catspyjamas17 · 27/04/2023 06:47

Mumsnet is not a hive mind, of course there are different reactions to different threads. There are tens of thousands of posters, probably more.

Itwasnaeme · 27/04/2023 06:47

I think the fact that it is weekly is too much - drinking should never be a requirement of a lunch with a friend! I would do it, but I should only have the alcoholic version now and again. How does it affect you for the rest of the afternoon? Are you still able to engage with dc? Big difference to between a single glass of wine and a cocktail!

Catspyjamas17 · 27/04/2023 06:51

Itwasnaeme · 27/04/2023 06:47

I think the fact that it is weekly is too much - drinking should never be a requirement of a lunch with a friend! I would do it, but I should only have the alcoholic version now and again. How does it affect you for the rest of the afternoon? Are you still able to engage with dc? Big difference to between a single glass of wine and a cocktail!

What a load of nonsense. A cocktail can be two units and a glass of wine four.

Joystir59 · 27/04/2023 06:52

I'd love to do that

Itwasnaeme · 27/04/2023 07:09

Well I wouldn't call a single glass of wine one that could be four unit, obviously you don't drink out of a glass that looks like a bowl if you're trying to drink 1 or 2 units.
bottles of wine have the units and percentage written on them. Cocktails do not: they taste sweet (usually) and the alcohol content is ambiguous.

NamelessNancy · 27/04/2023 07:25

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 05:06

"From what you've said I think it probably does fit in with local culture so no problem."
I live in England. Going out for lunch on a Friday certainly "fits in with local culture"🤣

Totally agree and wouldn't think should be a problem for the vast majority in the UK. I just think that "abroad" includes places where it very much doesn't fit in so a bit more detail might be useful. I've lived in conservative communities in the US where I expect this would have been frowned upon, but I'm sure there are other areas in the same country where it would be perfectly usual. Again the OP has implied it's within the cultural norm where she is which has likely influenced the answers given if that makes sense.

Lasouthpaw · 27/04/2023 07:48

I think a drink is fine. I don't drink but I would think depending on your tolerance a drink or 2 is fine.

I used to teach in France and the teachers had red wine at lunch followed by espresso!

A sociable drink at lunch on a friday is very different to sitting at home having one by yourself at lunchtime on a weekday. Technically, it could be the same units but it's the motivation which is the concern.

sofamarathon · 27/04/2023 16:20

Can i come?

😎

ASGIRC · 27/04/2023 16:26

Why would a teacher be smelling your breath?! You arent working or driving.

Where Im from, drinking at lunch is 100% acceptable, even if you are working.

In fact, it is pretty common to drink with every meal.

Enjoy your cocktails, OP! No one cares!!!

Boussa · 27/04/2023 16:33

A glass of wine/ g&t with lunch would literally have no impact re tipsiness for me. I would not feel the slightest bit guilty if my pick up involved walking.

I can't imagine the lifestyle of anyone who would negatively judge this.

Lcb123 · 27/04/2023 16:35

Of course that’s fine, I wouldn’t think twice. I would do that in the UK! Don’t need the sun for a glass of wine with lunch out

wankerseverywhere · 27/04/2023 16:39

ILikePizzas · 26/04/2023 21:51

I thought I'd made a pretty innocent comment, but I see I have attracted the Mumsnet "I take a sip of sherry at Christmas then birch myself" brigade. Blimey. Some people are just desperate to take offence, aren't you?

Show quote history

Possibly my favorite response of the day!

wankerseverywhere · 27/04/2023 16:45

Itwasnaeme · 27/04/2023 06:47

I think the fact that it is weekly is too much - drinking should never be a requirement of a lunch with a friend! I would do it, but I should only have the alcoholic version now and again. How does it affect you for the rest of the afternoon? Are you still able to engage with dc? Big difference to between a single glass of wine and a cocktail!

A glass of wine/one cocktail a week is too much? Good lord.

Qilin · 27/04/2023 16:45

Itwasnaeme · 27/04/2023 06:47

I think the fact that it is weekly is too much - drinking should never be a requirement of a lunch with a friend! I would do it, but I should only have the alcoholic version now and again. How does it affect you for the rest of the afternoon? Are you still able to engage with dc? Big difference to between a single glass of wine and a cocktail!

A cocktail once a week is ‘too much’ - really??
The op doesn’t say that the drink is a requirement of every time they meet with their friend! Just that it’s a suggestion - sounds like a nice one at that too!

Most cocktails in bars/restaurants are 1-2 units of alcohol. A glass of wine is often more.

No one at school is going to be concerned about a parent having been for one drink at lunchtime.

PurBal · 27/04/2023 16:47

I didn’t know going for a drink at lunchtime was unacceptable before school pick up in the UK.

Coyoacan · 27/04/2023 16:53

If it falls within your moral compass, why worry about other people's opinions, OP.

Inthesamesinkingboat · 27/04/2023 16:53

Sounds lovely. As long as you’re not driving for the school pick up I’m all for this!

LondonQueen · 27/04/2023 16:57

I used to do this before I became a teacher, would go for afternoon tea and have a few glasses of wine, never drunk but a little merry. No one said a thing. I obviously didn't drive.

roarfeckingroarr · 27/04/2023 17:02

Our nursery mums WhatsApp group often features "who fancies the pub before pick up". Nothing wrong with what you're suggesting.