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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Seaside living

64 replies

Moonandme123 · 26/04/2023 17:23

A job opportunity has come up for me about 1 hour from where I live. Dream job! It’s by the seaside in an area we know well as we lived there many years ago. Problem is DH has reservations because:
He doesn’t want to take our two primary aged children out of their current school.
He worries about the problems with some seaside towns eg street drinkers etc. this wasn’t an issue when we last lived there as we didn’t have DC.

I want to accept this job and move there. DH works exclusively remotely. My parents also live near where we would move to which would be nice for DC.

AIBU to even consider removing DC? Is living next to the sea with children nice? When we lived there before we would go to the beach most days even for just a de stress after work. Now we have DC we visit the beach every weekend but I’m aware that living there might be different.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moonandme123 · 26/04/2023 17:23

IABU - keep your children settled and either decline the job or commute to it.

IANBU - go for it!

OP posts:
Portandlemonade · 26/04/2023 17:25

You need to give a location.

Some seaside towns are dumps on full of either very elderly people or people who are out of work.

Bear in mind work prospects for your children when they grow up as they will invariably move away.

Do you see this as your forever location?

FionnulaTheCooler · 26/04/2023 17:26

Depends on the town, surely. We live near a beach but it's not a touristy town so we don't get issues with parking, drunks, etc.

Portandlemonade · 26/04/2023 17:27

As it's only an hour away can't you move midway and have the best of all worlds?

I'd be thrilled to be an hour from the sea. I'm 3 hours at least.

Whammyyammy · 26/04/2023 17:28

Portandlemonade · 26/04/2023 17:25

You need to give a location.

Some seaside towns are dumps on full of either very elderly people or people who are out of work.

Bear in mind work prospects for your children when they grow up as they will invariably move away.

Do you see this as your forever location?

Agreed.
Could be sandbanks or jaywick! Location is key

Original poster
Moonandme123 · 26/04/2023 17:28

It’s Worthing, West Sussex.
we lived there initially and had chosen it as our forever place until the landlord sold the property and we couldn’t find anywhere in time. We moved to where we are now and spend so much of our time going back there!!

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 26/04/2023 17:30

Unless it's Jaywick go for it!

Portandlemonade · 26/04/2023 17:35

Do some research into demographics and employment/crime rates. And house price trends, Up or down?

Isheabastard · 26/04/2023 17:37

All towns (and seaside ones) have their rubbish areas. Make sure you know the good areas.

Your children are young enough to move with no problem, ie not GCSE/A levels, try and time move with a September start if you can.

As suggested you could try and live a little inland, though I’d suggest 20 minutes away. So they can bus in when they are older.

I grew up in a touristy seaside town. Going to the beach was our favourite thing as a child, and even more as a teenager.

Id go for the childcare alone, let alone a dream job.

Nofireworksneeded · 26/04/2023 17:40

Moonandme123 · 26/04/2023 17:28

It’s Worthing, West Sussex.
we lived there initially and had chosen it as our forever place until the landlord sold the property and we couldn’t find anywhere in time. We moved to where we are now and spend so much of our time going back there!!

If you go back there regularly, then go for it.

Moving a primary age child is not that much of a problem educationally. Make sure the secondaries are of an equivalent or better standard compared to where you currently live.

I'd rather regret doing something in life than not doing something in life, so I'd personally move.

SussexLass87 · 26/04/2023 17:40

I live near to Worthing, and love living there. Worthing & Littlehampton are our nearest beaches and we love popping down after school for a dip and a picnic!

SallyWD · 26/04/2023 17:41

I grew up in a seaside town that is actually quite deprived. It certainly has a problem with drink and drugs and not many prospects! However I loved it!! Even deprived towns have good areas. As well as being deprived, my childhood town was also beautiful, quite arty and bohemian. It has an incredible sense of community unlike anywhere else I've lived in the UK. I always felt safe and happy there. Looking back, my childhood was magical. I have so many memories of warm, sunny days where we'd pack a picnic and a towel and head down to the beach. As a teenager my friends would often go to the beach on a summer's evening and have a bbq and a couple of beers and watch the sun go down. Wonderful!
Many of my friends were middle class and moved away to get better jobs as adults (including me) but I've really noticed how attached we alll still are to this town. We're all approaching 50 now yet still go back many times a year and have strong sentimental feelings about the place.
So yes, it can still be a great place to grow up, even if it is deprived.

Wishawisha · 26/04/2023 17:41

Depends on the town, depends on the schools. What years are they and how disruptive do you think it would be? Do you have much of a chance of getting them into preferred schools?
I certainly wouldn’t rule it out.

Beachbreak2411 · 26/04/2023 17:51

I love living by the sea! I love hearing it all day, I love that we can just pop to the beach after school for a quick swim / surf / sup. We get up early and watch the sun rise over the sea. The bad bits (tourists) don’t outweigh the good.

HappyTrance · 26/04/2023 17:53

I live near the sea but I am 10 minutes drive from a major city. It’s also a nice area for families and there are decent schools. I would consider it if I were you especially if you will be nearer family.

Beachbreak2411 · 26/04/2023 17:54

And as above, the community is great. we all know each other and look out for each other. My dd is safe going into town with her friends (she’s 12), and within minutes I get texts from friends saying they’ve seen her. She ran out of credit and needed to phone me and was comfortable to pop into a shop and ask them to ring me. I wouldn’t live anywhere else.

Cheesywiggles · 26/04/2023 17:54

I live in Worthing and have 4 dc , we personally love it! The schools are excellent in this area , we are very lucky! My dc love living near the sea and we go to the beach regularly. In my opinion it's a lovely area to raise a family, I would go for it personally! Good luck with whatever you decide ☺️

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 26/04/2023 18:03

I would love to live near the sea .

Wouldn't have worked for us with our family and DH's work prospects all in midlands urban area - and even now with retirement looming j wouldn't want to actively move away from my DC.

In your position though yes I definitely would consider it - there is a job there for you, your family are there and your DH can work remotely . At primary age your DC will make new friends - and can still keep in touch with old friends if they wish - you are only moving an hour away .

Hoolihan · 26/04/2023 18:07

Worthing is great, go for it. I live in Shoreham and love living by the sea.

Tumbleweed101 · 26/04/2023 18:09

I've lived near the sea and loved it. Two of mine were toddlers when we were there. The town was nice and the people were so friendly as you learned in winter months who were locals.

Circumstances meant we had to move way but it wasn't choice and I'd still happily live there.

Rosesbloomingnow · 26/04/2023 18:09

We're wasting sussex also, walking distance to the sea. I love it, kids love it. As teens paddle boarding, swimming with friends etc. Go for it! Kids are young enough to settle in any new school.

Wtfishappeningandwhy · 26/04/2023 18:12

Seems the only argument against it is moving your children to a new school and as they are primary age it’s really not much of a reason. I would jump at this chance

BishopRock · 26/04/2023 18:14

Moonandme123 · 26/04/2023 17:28

It’s Worthing, West Sussex.
we lived there initially and had chosen it as our forever place until the landlord sold the property and we couldn’t find anywhere in time. We moved to where we are now and spend so much of our time going back there!!

Go go go, OP!!!!

Hazey19 · 26/04/2023 18:14

100 % do it x

Palegreenstars · 26/04/2023 18:17

Worthing is great. Most of my friends have been priced out of Brighton and now live in Worthing with young families. They don’t regret it.

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