Years ago my friend and I would have casual sex from time to time after we had been drinking. I was never really that into it but just chalked it up to me being inexperienced and figured it would get better as I got better. I usually felt incredibly embarrassed or ashamed the next day but I have an anxiety disorder so that was nothing new.
Then one time, back in 2018 I had the worst sexual encounter in my life so far. We were both drunk as usual but I explicitly told him to put on a condom. He said of course he would but didn't stop to go get one. I felt too uncomfortable to ask him again which I know now was stupid. We had sex and the whole time I was wishing it would be over but didn't want to say anything. He went off to the bathroom at one point and I was relieved but when he came back he wanted to keep going. Turns out he had thrown up and decided to tell me after he started making out with me again. He also was quite rough and bit my lip so hard it bled. I was fighting back tears.
Eventually, he was done and pretty much instantly fell asleep. He only had a single bed and I really did not want to share it with him. Crying, I made my way downstairs to leave because I wanted to go home but his door was locked, meaning I ended up sleeping on the floor of his room.
Often when we were drunk he either wouldn't be able to finish or he'd pull out to finish. This time it turns out he finished inside me and I had no idea. It wasn't until 4 months later that I discovered I was pregnant. Since I was barely 21 and was struggling enough with uni as it was I ended up getting a second trimester abortion which was a very traumatic and expensive experience for me.
At a party after everything was done I decided to tell him since only my mum knew at this point and he was still a close friend. He said it was hard for him because his aunt had a miscarriage before he was born or something which I thought was a bit insensitive but brushed it off.
For some reason I have stayed friends with him until now. Talking to him is easy and he's one of only 3 friends I feel comfortable hanging out with alone. He is also the reason I know most of my other friends.
But last night I learnt about something called stealthing and looked into it and the articles I found said that not using a condom after being asked to could be described as sexual assault as I only consented to protected sex. It has made me reevaluate the whole experience and I feel quite distraught. On one hand it feels validating to understand why I felt so awful and violated afterwards but on the other hand I feel like I can't possibly remain friends with someone who assaulted me.
TLDR: I think my friend of many years sexually assaulted me leaving me pregnant.
I really just want some advice. I feel like if a friend told me this I would tell them to ditch that guy asap. But I also don't want to hurt my friend because I'm sure he would think of it as a misunderstanding since he was drunk. I'm also worried all our friends would side with him because he has known them for far longer. I am just really confused about what I should do, if anything.