For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

@Fourteenhouses MAYBE in future YOU should ask, so as to avoid unnecessarily distressing your son

OP, I don't think you were obliged to move and the woman on the bus was unreasonable to have shouted at you. You were very kind to have moved twice for her, despite her rudeness.

Dogs are allowed on the bus, so you weren't being unreasonable to have taken yours. Had you been taking the dog somewhere where dogs were not allowed then obviously that would be very different!

I didnt think dogs were allowed on buses. And I agree.

@Fourteenhouses

So this mistake was yours. You should have been the one to leave instead of asking and then arguing with the cafe staff until a dog owner had to leave a dog friendly cafe.

Yes as the meltdowns are arguably worse than the allergy symptoms. (But allergy symptoms causes sensory distress)

If my son wasn’t autistic/ phobic And just had allergies I’d have just given antihistamines and explained . Sadly that’s not an option for us as he’s not NT

If dogs triggered a meltdown you'd 100% check they weren't allowed in before settling down to eat. Especially after apparently planning everything else meticulously.
If not, it would be best to accept you messed up and that other people shouldn't be put out due to that.

Your dog is not hypoallergenic.

I am allergic to curly dogs. The last time I was in the same house as poodles I had an asthma attack and ended up in hospital.

I have a hairy dog and am not allergic to him or any other moulting animals.

YANBU, it is not up to everyone else to manage a particular person's allergies/phobias/distress,

It's your child so up to you to put them first by ensuring the venue is suitable. If you aren't bothered to check before hand, why should the cafe owner lose out?

It reminds me of pet owners who tell the vet "if you really loved animals you'd treat my pet for free" , while they themselves aren't prepared to pay anything at all to treat their own pet.

Luckily we’ve always found people to accommodate our needs

I think you did the right thing OP.

I assume that it’s a default no dogs unless somewhere has a sign saying ‘dog friendly ‘ actually ?
There wasn’t a sign

Luckily we’ve always found people to accommodate our needs

I thought it was supposed to be dog owners that are entitled?!

But you did have issues - the cafe owner had to turn away a paying customer (who was probably a regular) despite having a policy of allowing dogs. A customer had to leave a place they are normally allowed in because you didn’t have the foresight to check.

You had issues, you’re just too self absorbed to recognise them.

And in the process, you were complacent about potential risk to your child’s well-being.

Yes God forbid that people would show compassion to disabled children !!! How entitled to expect that

You don’t see that many dogs on buses in London, thank goodness. I don’t see why the woman with the allergies should have to move off the bus as some people are saying. I would have taken the dog upstairs if that had been me, rather than stand at the front for that length of time.

@SnackSizeRaisin
That's actually an interesting question.
There would be a number of different ways to offer reasonable adjustments (including asking the other customers with dogs to leave the premises).
In most cases, I suppose they would separate the two customer groups (e.g. offering @Fourteenhouses and her son a private space or dining room if possible).
Another adjustment could be asking the patrons to wait outside until the Op and her son had finished.
Or refunding the OP's food and packing it up for her to eat at home.
It's really difficult to determine what would be a suitable reasonable adjustment. It's not clearcut.

Can those that want to discuss a dog in a restaurant start a new thread so we can focus on OP’s question 🙄

A lesson for the cafe owner then to put a sign up maybe ?

Look I have the upmost sympathy for you and I have an autistic child also but I’d expect you to ease his suffering by leaving the situation that was causing him suffering, not expect someone else who has a right to be there to do that.
I’d have taken my son and left and made a note not to return.

It's possible..I've actually never seen a flying pig

If he doesn’t want to move I can’t move him he’s almost stronger than me and when having a meltdown is aggressive

You mean the cafe owner felt awkward at you gobbling off so much they felt they had to ask them to leave? How embarrassing and rude of you