For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

It’s up to you to ask if you’re that bothered. Bloody hell.

Why is it so hard to believe - I haven’t ever seen a guide dog?? Blind people yes but never a guide dog

No love, a lesson for you to do the right thing by your son and bloody well check the establishment meets his considerable needs.

@Fourteenhouses I didn’t say that.

I said I work with staff who have autism and do not consider themselves disabled. One member has been to HR regarding a senior staff member labelling them as such.

The cafe was advertised as being dog friendly. Why did you go there if you knew your child would be upset if a dog arrived?
You were being unreasonable and a massive CF to complain to the owner.

@Fourteenhouses you are entitled for not checking what the policy is. You are expecting a business to turn away other paying customers, and even worse putting your son in an environment where he could potentially become very distressed, because you simply cannot be arsed to ask a simple question before you sit yourself down.

No signs - so no, not advertised. Apparently just local knowledge (we weren’t local)

Why wouldn't you move? Is it really that hard to move? I try to be easy going in life and find life in general is a much more pleasant experience if you try to be kind and empathic to others. I used to have a small dog too, easy to pick up and get out of peoples way. No issue. There are many people who don't like dogs/allergies/phobias. If anyone asked me to move with my dog I had no issue with this. I don't want to cause their health problems, be it pysical or mental, to worsen when I can easily just move. Then get on with your life. Don't take it personally or get offended by it, really not worth it.

I travelled in Europe with my dog, there are special carriages in soem countries for travelling with pets. Great idea, for everyone.

I never took my dogs into cafe's or restaurant's though and don't think it's a great idea. I was in a café at the weekend, a dog cocked his leg over the table leg and wee'd over a guy's shoe. The owner just said it was lucky he wasn't wearing sandals 😂but didn't offer to clean it up. The guy was quite nice about it, the café owner/manager was not.

I like dogs and I'm not allergic to them, but I'm shocked at how self entitled some of the dog owners on this thread are. Dogs aren't more important than people, and some of the replies on this thread are verging on ableism.

I would be horrified if any pet of mine triggered an allergic reaction in someone.

It looks like some dog owners are becoming the new smokers.

@Fourteenhouses that sounds incredibly stressful and I’m glad it was sorted but as a rule my expectation is that most cafés do allow dogs, with a “no dogs” sign if that’s not the case. Dogs are just so ubiquitous now (I have neither a dog nor a child so no dog in this fight either, so to speak)

ignore, ignore, ignore. By jumping when she told you to jump, you gave her power and probably self entitlement to do it to someone else. Someone could have sat on the seat with their dog just before she sat there. There are people walking round covered in pet airs.

This isn't my face, I got this from Google. But this is a very real representation of my how my face can go in around 20 minutes of being exposed to my dog allergy. Alongside this, I may experience hives in the mouth, hands and back, a "prickly heat" feeling, flu like symptoms, and swollen tongue. I've only gone into anaphylaxis once. It takes days for this swelling to go down and after around 6 - 9 hours I can see again. My immune system has taken such a hit though I feel like shit for days after.

I have medication I can take, but I can still react depending on the threshold dose I'm exposed to. Tbh I wouldn't have said anything on the bus, I would have got off and waited for the next one or walked. If a cafe has dogs, I'll double dose and pray there's not too much dander in the air, but sometimes I will react but it will just be eye swelling and not a major reaction. I'm careful but it gets harder as more dogs are everywhere now and allowed in loads of places. But I guess establishments make more from dog owners than allergy sufferers.

I'm a dog lover but people can go too far with a dog. Last Friday on my commute to work there was a woman letting her dog sit next to her on the top of the bus. As I was thinking shall I ask her to put her dog on the floor I noticed the dog was extremely nervous and really couldn't settle. The owner shared a drinking yogurt with the dog. Both drinking /licking the same bottle. Yuk.

As I said we rarely go out . He’s phobic of many things I can’t list it all every time we do get out just in case . I can’t even say certain trigger words around him so we focus on what we are doing not alerting him to things he’s phobic about . I don’t expect anyone to understand it seems beyond most posters here who probably think i shouldn’t go out so that the dogs can be the priority

The thing is it used to be assumed that dogs weren't allowed in shops, cafes, etc unless guide dogs. It gradually came in so some places had 'dog friendly' signs up, so if you have a dog allergy/phobia you know to be on high alert and leave if needed. Now, it seems to be everywhere allows dogs, so are people with allergies, autism, etc not supposed to go out anymore just in case? Surely dogs don't need to be everywhere?

I immediately spoke to the owner who said ‘well we are dog friendly!’ I said no sorry a child with disabilities comes first. One of the women started saying they had just as much right to be there it was awful.

I think @Fourteenhouses is being a bit economical with the truth, this is what she said upthread.

I realise that now. As I said I don’t really go out that much and I didn’t realise it was now the default that cafes are dog friendly I thought most weren’t

I was only aware it was dog friendly then - not before they walked in with dogs - I’m not a liar

Haven’t RTFT. This is a tough one, because if dogs are allowed on the bus, does anyone have the right to ask a dog owner to move unless there’s a designated dog space that they should be using?

I mean, I can understand her not wanting to be close to the dog if she’s allergic (my DH is allergic to cats), but surely she needs to move, instead of the OP?

My DH would definitely move away from a cat.

You know, a year ago I'd have said I'd have no problem moving down the bus if asked by someone with allergies, or go to a different cafe if someone's child was having a meltdown at the sight of a dog (unless asked rudely, because I don't ever respond to rudeness)

But these countless threads day after day filled with such sneering nasty comments directed to dogs and dog owners have just made me really change my attitude. I don't consider my dog my "fur baby" yet me personally, why would I do something our the goodness of my heart (leave a place I'm allowed to be) to accommodate the type of people who make very clear what they think of me via horrible internet posts? All the dog haters keep saying dog owners are stupid, arrogant, selfish etc. Well I wasn't a year ago but if you're going to think that anyway I might as well be.

I don't see how it can be deemed reasonable if it damages their business. Particularly if they are not made aware of the disability beforehand. Even a school or workplace isn't expected to instantly offer adjustments with no warning or discussion. Cafes don't have to have disabled facilities. Or allow children. Most cafes are one small room and don't have a separate dining room.
Packing the op's food seems fair, although not refunding it.
In reality the owner was probably thinking of the slating they would get online and going for the least bad option!

Yes I think This was my issue as it’s changed it used to be no dogs most places suddenly it’s the opposite

It seems to have been something that was gradually happening but with the explosion in dog ownership over the pandemic is now much more noticeable!

I do agree with PP’s that if a business such as a cafe is dog friendly, they should put up a sign so that anyone who’s allergic or afraid of dogs is aware that dogs are likely to be inside.