For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

The owner was between a rock and a hard place and put on the spot. For all we know they gave the people with the dog a voucher to compensate them for the incident. With time to reflect, maybe they'll act differently in future.

Allergies can be reduced with no shedding dogs but they still have skin dander and saliva. Sure shedding spreads that dander everywhere but even when the dog isn’t actively shedding hair, it still activates my allergies. There are no hypoallergenic dogs or cats for me but there are some that will take longer before my reaction worsens.

I'm also 24/7 caring. If I'd arrived and you'd made a scene, I'd have happily offered the owner to leave to make things easier for them. If I were there first and settled with my child and their emotional support dog and you'd made a scene and asked us who were already settled to leave, I'd have stood my ground, said my child needs their dog and we were there first.
My child is getting older and starting to accept that society isn't going to give them concessions just because they want them. They're starting to step up because they realise that if they don't, they miss out.

You can really tell people on this thread who use buses and those who don't, as those of us who regularly do aren't supposed that dogs are allowed as we have seen them.

Why do you find it hard to believe that a cafe owner would ask the dog owner to leave. In my example, the cafe owner did ask the dog owners to leave as well as they obviously valued the new mothers group and office workers from the building nearby as it was lunchtime and I suppose my profitable to keep that clientele. The cafe owner literally pointed out to the dog owner that although the dog was small, they could not accommodate the yapping even though it was intermittent, the owner said it was disruptive and people want a relaxing lunchtime.

With these scenarios, with my dog, admittedly a large one, I'd sit at the furthermost forward or rear seat, I wouldn't stand if there were seats.
Actually, thinking about it, I haven't been on a bus with her.

In a cafe, I always opt for outdoor seats and avoid indoor cafes.

For pubs, though, if they are dog friendly, I would go in and expect families to leave if they didn't like it. pubs are adult environments.

Who would think their dog trumps a child who has an allergy to dogs surely a dog owner would be empathic towards a child with allergies especially a child who is autistic isn’t the world a bit more challenging enough

guide dogs are the exception but dogs do not need to be everywhere not everyone is as I trapped with your lovely dog as their owners are

im astounded how many dog owners feel their dogs are as important as people

This is tricky. Of course people with disabilities need adjustments made, but plenty of cafes and eateries are ‘no dog’. I don’t think you can choose to go to a dog friendly cafe and demand someone leaves, well, you can and have, but it must have made it a complicated situation for all involved rather than choosing a dog free cafe. My husband is disabled, as am i, but to a more manageable amount (no longer have continuously obvious mobility issues or use a wheelchair or stick). We simply wouldn’t go to places he couldn’t manage. Yes, disability rights should improve, but that doesn’t mean people have to leave the area they’ve gone to because it fits their own requirements imo. Just as they couldn’t join an early hours session in a cafe or theme park that requires proof of disability or park in a disabled spot without a blue badge. It must be very tough managing your ds’s needs, but I’m not sure disability always trumps someone without it. A bit like someone at a children’s disco might struggle to go in and ask them to turn the music to very very quiet or off because a child had autism, it was expected to have loud music and this was clearly stated and part of the point of it, so it’s not really a reasonable adjustment. In that situation, it’s up to the person or parent to have noise cancelling headphones etc. I could definitely be wrong, it’s just the way I’d approach it.

I’m pretty sure public transport has always allowed dogs and cats?

Constant yapping is different to a dog just being quietly present though. The owner shouldn't allow their dog to be so disruptive. If the dog can't handle cafes, the dog shouldn't be in that environment.

No. Dogs are allowed on public transport.

To be fair i have asthsma and allergies to dogs . A mini poodle is virtually hypoallergenic, the hair carrying the allergic skin cells wouldn't be an issue as a non shedder and the saliva wouldn't be an issue as poodles aren't droolers like a hound , for example. Also, as a smaller dog there is less allergens too .
I'd be more allergic had someone just cuddled a labrador and sat near me.
I do think allergies are exaggerated by people who dislike dogs.

Wow @Fourteenhouses I'm so sorry you are getting so much unkindness on this thread. I have an autistic child and we lived a lot of his childhood unable to go out, or take my other son out to places my autistic child couldn't go because of the likelihood of meltdowns and distress.

I am still haunted by the memory of the rising panic at the realisation he was going to kick off and how I was powerless to stop it as I couldn't control the environment and circumstances that was causing it despite my best efforts. My other son lost social connections and opportunities because of it too.

I really feel for you and get how hard it is to do anything 'normal'.

What bothers me about posts like this are the 'dogs owners are so entitled' brigade.

I think it should actually be 'some people are so entitled'

Regardless of them being a dog owner, or a parent, some people are just plain old entitled. There's no reason to lump everyone who also happens to fall in to that category together.

The OP did nothing wrong, she took her dog on a public mode of transport - a mode of transport that allows dogs. Had she been 'allowed' to, she would have sat quietly with her small dog, minding her own business until she got to her stop. That's not entitled, that's using a service which is provided for the masses for its intended purpose.

I wouldn't dream of taking my dog on a bus, purely because he would not behave in a calm manner, and to take him regardless of this and risk making everyone else's journey miserable, would be incredibly entitled.

I do take my dog to dog friendly cafes and pubs, after long walks. A blanket is put down either under the table or as far away from where people walk by as possible, and he's given multiple toys and long lasting treats. That's not entitled. If he was sat up on the furniture, or wondering around approaching other people, that would be entitled of me.

I am very allergic to poodles but that is great that you aren’t and can be around them. Enjoy it. Everyone’s allergies are different. I don’t dislike dogs at all, I wish I didn’t have allergies and could enjoy their company as you do but I can’t.

No. They really, really wouldn't.

How do you navigate service dogs? You can't demand they leave

They can go to a cafe that doesn’t allow dogs. They wouldn’t just be able to demand dogs leave a dog friendly cafe where I live. I’ve seen people query dogs in the one I use locally and the owner tells them they’re dog friendly but other cafes are available.

Why didn’t you just choose a cafe that wouldn’t allow dogs in????

Unbelievable. My child has a severe phobia of dogs, she will hold her breath till shes blue or scream/kick/have a panic attack. My job as her parent is to remove her from that situation (as well as other situations where she has similar experiences) not demand that everyone else leaves to accommodate her needs because as she gets older that's not going to happen.

The fact that you think someone with a guide dog can be asked to leave on the basis of who was there first is absolutely ridiculous too.

People need to work together more. If I'd been sitting at the front on the OP's bus, I'd have offered her my seat and gone to sit in the one she vacated.

I appreciate not everyone would be able to do that because some sit at the front due to disabilities, but where possible we need to stop existing in our own little bubbles and take the opportunity to make life easier for the people around us.

@Fourteenhouses it would depend who was there first in that instance. If we were then yes they’d have to leave, if they were already there then we would have had to leave.
You are quite wrong. You would be considered discriminating against disability 🤷🏻‍♀️

To add, the owner sometimes has his own dog in the cafe.

"Your child has a dog phobia which is easily managed by you, stay away from cafes which allow dogs.
You should reflect on your sense of entitlement"

Comments like this seem as if they're coming from a place of entitlement themselves.

Of course the needs of a highly allergic or frightened person come above the wants of a dog owner and accompanying dog (excepting service dogs). Absolutely the cafe owner has the ultimate say as it's their establishment. But in this case if you'd already purchased your food and were sitting down as a customer, the dog owner and cafe owner should have found a distant or outdoor table for the dog and owner. It just takes a polite explanation and some flexibility from everyone.

As for dog friendly/unfriendly cafes, most of them don't so say clearly enough for people to only ever visit one or the other. Even in a 'dog-friendly' cafe, I feel there should be a dog area/dog free area if the premises are big enough. Dogs can be very over-whelming to babies and toddlers and sometimes this is how fear starts.

I like dogs, but don't always want them milling around me and I don't think every cafe accommodates them well.

I've got no choice but to take the bus and I need to take my dog... I have moved away in the past if someone has asked but I'm nit going to stand for ages. I have epilepsy and a condition that affects my balance.. what reasonable adjustment to you suggest for me please?

Absolutely you don't get to descrimate as your child is disabled, in fact that's really shitty.