To wonder how do people afford everything?

[JL642]

Just that. How does everyone afford everything?

Coffee shops etc packed here. Social media full of people doing expensive things.

DH and I ate high earners so I don’t get it.

People clearly have enough money to do these things. What is it you want to be able to afford that you can’t?

Do you really wonder? Do you pay car finance or a mortgage - people who don't will have more disposable income than you. Their bills may be less, less direct debits going out , cheaper house than you - a two bed terrace, an apartment etc.

@Stripedbag101

Only 2.5% of people earn over £100k, so the term "higher" earner must be applied at a much lower level. 75% earn less than £40,000, and only 15% earn over the higher rate tax threshold of £50k. Personally, I'd say a "higher" earner was in the top 10% of earnings which is above £60k! That must be "high" when 90% of people earn less!

OP I understand the sentiment behind your post. Another factor is if you rent/ own outright or have a mortgage, and when you took that mortgage.

I'm a higher earner on low 6 figures, but recently bought my first home (modest 3 bed semi, outside of the city I live in so "cheap" for the area). My mortgage is £1400 per month. Rent for a similar size property is similar (approx 1200-1350 per month). I bought later in life, due to struggling to save a deposit by being in education and lower paid jobs until relatively recently. I save a lot, but also look in awe at people who seem to be able to afford a lot of "stuff".

I just read a post from someone on similar income/similar age but bought a long time back paying £600 a month mortgage. The "extra" £800 per month would go a huge way. Lots of mortgages on Mumsnet seem to be in the hundreds, due to the age of Mumsnet people or being able to buy houses 5-10 years ago (or further back).

The photo of the hotel room was actually £17 per night, per room
So it cost £8.50 each for 2 of us 😁

I go out for coffee and cake twice a week. Those are my treats. I've stopped buying takeaways, pub lunches (except once a month or so), expensive shower gel, expensive moisturiser, cancalled my gym membership, no longer do the national lottery . . . the list of things I've given up is long. But coffee and cake in a very nice cafe is a small and inexpensive treat.

What I’ve surmised is:

They live in cheaper areas/ smaller houses as compared to their income (so not so high a multiplier of income) so their mortgages aren’t as high

They have two income households (I’m a single parent)

There is no right or wrong answer to this - and people use higher and high earners interchangeably.

Some may define it as paying 40% tax, some think of the 45% threshold. Some go for the six figure salary. Some people assume high is anything above average.

as I said in my post - that is my personal definition of a high earner! So my personal definition for a subjective amount cannot be wrong! It’s just different to yours.

taxguru that’s interesting as every other poster on here seems to claim that either they or their oh earn over 100k!
The entire 2.5% must be on MN.

They can also have a lot of parental assistance.

I work with someone whose parents bought them a house. It’s gorgeous- in a very expensive area. We earn around the same - there is however no way I could afford their lifestyle - they are mortgage free and their kids school fees are also paid by parents (and holidays).

that’s just life😊. If I didn’t know about the generous parents I would assume they are up to their eyeballs in debt.

This is a good question, for all we know the OP earns less than everyone else but is more than they ever have, so consider themselves a high earner. It feels a very relative term on Mumsnet.

Cost of living is something that people moan about conversationally like the weather, or baby not sleeping through. No one is going to pipe up actually I’m doing rather well as it’s tone deaf.
I’m in an affluent area in north. Lots of retired with decent incomes, 2 incomes both working professional jobs. Lots have benefited from wfh - no commute costs, no wrap around childcare, I know some who have got London jobs with London wages but mainly wfh based in north. Reasonable house prices.
Inheritance or help from parents. Having an investment property eg didn’t sell first flat.

There are some people who make Tik Toks on this similar subject

They stop people on the street & ask questions

How much they earn
What job
Their top tips for how to live your life better

I like the guy who asks

How much they pay for their property per month to rent or buy
Then he goes to visit the property
Tests the bed, looks in the fridge
Some of the places & stories are amazing

I find that very difficult to believe. I've travelled a lot and it's hard to get a good homestay/room for that price.

Where was that photo taken?

Google image search pulls up the hotel in Malaysia, and that IS the price.

Definitely is. I'm a millennial and have a cheap mortgage due to area so this isn't me, but I've noticed that often when people who are fully exposed to the dysfunctional housing market in expensive areas complain about it, other posters will chide them because they earn X modest amount and are fine. But they leave out the fact that they bought their first home 10 or 20 years ago.

We are in the position you describe. Mortgage is now £940. To start again with a 10% deposit would cost around £1640.

It is just about timing. We bought our first house in 1991 for £53k with 100% mortgage. I seem to remember our mortgage payment was over £500 per month. Over the years we have moved house a few times and extended the term as circumstances (young family, needing to be in a particular location) have dictated.

We are now in the last few years of our mortgage and planning to overpay to get it finished. When we have finished we will have been paying a mortgage for 34 years!

If I wasn’t paying £1800 in childcare per month I could have as much coffee and cake as I like! Sometimes I do anyway as it seems like such a drop in the ocean.

Gwennah, I wondered if anyone would do an image search. Yes you are correct 🖐

The next hotel we stayed at in Thailand was more expensive due to its special location & it included breakfast. However, we received a free upgrade to a bigger room 😉

We usually book as we travel around different places

We have stayed in similar hotels where free bowls of fresh fruit have been provided & huge amounts of free toiletries

The cheapest room I've seen advertised on a board in a Vietnam city for $5 which included breakfast

This was possibly a shared room or shared bathroom

I'm on min wage as my only income

But I've been out for a meal - my dad paid and it was £30 for both of us including drinks
And I got a coffee - work gave us all a Starbucks voucher
So I've been out but not spent any of my own money
Sometimes I get a five guys but that's literally my only "treat" for the month, I don't drink either

I frequent coffee shops, I have gym membership, I get my nails and hair done every month, I’m a single parent on a very average salary.

But - I’m 57, done my 25 years and paid the mortgage off last year, I don’t drive a car. when I go into the office I walk, so zero regular travel costs.

If I was still paying the morgage and driving we would be living off beans on toast.

I think this a lot OP! But sometimes it is just smoke and mirrors. Social media has a lot to answer for as I think people wouldn’t do half the crap they do if they didn’t need content for socials.

@GnomeDePlume this is completely true, but most of us had this sad realisation that we were working hard, paying our mortgage and that money was limited. Interest rates were much higher and those with first mortgages weren’t minted.

I am often puzzled by what people do though tbh - the constantly upgrading stuff that’s fine as it is. If I moved house again and took out another mortgage then money could be tight for us too. I cba, we have a house that is adequate but for a lot of people it isn’t enough.

This is surely a case of priorities and choices isn't it?
One person's AI holiday is another's new car is another's new kitchen or another's botox.
Very few people I know do all of them.
You also don't know the background of people financial capabilities.
A school mum friend of mine is remortgaging her home to afford a new car- if you didn't know this you might wonder how she affords it.
For us, our mortgage is tiny because my partners parents have literally given nearly £100k or more towards mortgage costs over the last 15 years. They also helped us cash fund a car purchase so we own that outright as well. However I don't walk around with a big sign advertising this about myself whilst in a coffee ship.
I work with younger (20's) people who rent or house share and probably will never be able to buy or not for a long time so they are enjoying life while young free and single - festivals holidays brunch cars. I can't blame them.
I think the thing here is not to be so ignorant of the differences between people - a couple with a child /children under 3 in childcare will be shelling out loads on fees and feeling the pinch, people about to have fixed rates end and remortgage are going to have increased payments soon.
Maybe try not to be so judgemental and just get on with your own life and choices/priorities and stop worrying whether other people can afford theirs.