To make a referral to the children's services

[Shayisgreat]

There is a woman who I used to be very good friends with when we were younger but we have drifted apart now and live in different countries. She goes through periods of spamming me with links to various videos and websites with no context and usually in the middle of the night. The impression I get is that she is quite mentally unwell. The last period was last week just after she shared that she is pregnant.

She has had several periods of being admitted to psychiatric hospitals - some due to psychosis and other times because suicidal thoughts. She has a diagnosis of schizophrenia. She met her partner when they were both admitted to the hospital - he was there becauseod depression I think. They separated last year because he scammed her out of her savings, took out loans in her name, and gambled it all away. They resumed the relationship a few months ago because he apologised and bought her cigarettes.

She has a teenage child who lives with her ex-husband. When he was younger she has to have supervised contact with the child but it seems to be unsupervised now. I think there were court proceedings because the child said that she hurt him but I'm not clear on the details.

She is pregnant now with the partner who stole from her. I know I'm not being unreasonable but I'm feeling really guilty about making the call to ss tomorrow with concerns about unborn baby. Please reassure me that I'm not being a total bitch.

I can't help but think she's probably known to services anyway?

Exactly

I'd really hope so! I'm sure she'll be open to perinatal teams at the very least.

With a psychiatric history she will be. She might even be under the care of a psychiatrist currently. What are you hoping your call will do?

True but another referral won't hurt.

She should be but it’s worth highlighting just in case. What should happen doesn’t always happen.
She may have had psychiatric support in the past but may not now.
Don’t feel bad, you could be doing them a big favour.

I'd just like to make sure that there is a safety plan for the baby when he/she is born.

Make the call, it’s probably in hand but if not you’ll be doing something really good for the baby. She’ll need a lot of support.

If she has previously had supervised only visits with a child then surely she is known to SS?

i don’t think you’re being a bitch but I think a lot of things are in place to support her already.

I don’t think you reporting would do anything unless you have a specific concern about her or her partner during this pregnancy.

This exactly, any additional information she has shared with you that you can tell them is important as they may not be aware of it.A child's welfare trumps friendship loyalties every time.

One of my best friends told me not long ago that her neice had disclosed to her historical physical abuse (still lives with the alleged abuser) i knew she wouldn't have tbe guts to so I reported that to SS straight after.She understood that I had to do it.

I'd just like to make sure that there is a safety plan for the baby when he/she is born.

It's got to be worth a call. Too many stories in the press / tv recently.

Do you have copies of what she sent you and email them to your Local Authority MASH/ Adult Social Care Safeguarding team?

Yes, do it. You don't know what's in place and it will do no harm to the baby to inform them.

Make the call - I wouldn't assume services are still involved and aware of the current pregnancy. You are not being a bitch.

Her older child lives in a different area so it's possible the the cs where she lives now isn't aware of the history.

I'm not sure sending copies of the messages she sends me will be very helpful - they are just random and most are links to inspirational talks, songs, and memes.

She's in Ireland so when I've checked the Tusla website it looks like you have to call the duty line rather than email in.

why are the videos relevant? You said they were motivational? Is it because she has been admitted in the past? This will be known, not sure what else you feel you can add to this? Don’t feel bad if you feel it’s warranted

I only shared that here to illustrate what is giving me the impression that she is not all that well. Obviously that in and of itself doesn't indicate harm to the unborn.

I'm not sure why anyone would think that the children's services in a different area to her older child would automatically be aware of mother's mental health difficulties.

Because if she has been sectioned under the mental health act like you suggest then it will be on her medical records 🤷‍♀️

This

But the children's services will only know that if they go looking for it - I.e. request medical records as part of a prebirth assessment for this unborn baby.

The children's services don't automatically get information every time an adult gets sectioned. GPs are informed and adults social care are informed but children's services are only told if there is already a child /unborn. If she doesn't get sectioned while pregnant her current local authority children's services wouldn't be informed of her history unless they specifically requested it. They'll only know to request her medical history if they are informed of the concerns.

Services where she now lives may not be aware of this pregnancy yet if she hasn’t presented for antenatal care etc which she may be reluctant to do due to her history

can you not refer as member of public via the Tusla portal?

Ah, I've just noticed that now. It kind of looks like the portal is only for professionals who work with children and that members of the public are asked to call the duty line. I might give the portal a go and see if I can refer that way.

How far into the pregnancy is she?

You can contact the local office and have an informal discussion about your concerns. If they believe your concerns are valid they can take a formal referral from you. Links for each county.
https://www.tusla.ie/children-first/contact-a-social-worker3/