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Original poster

To expect my children's to watch them

47 replies

lucie333 · 23/04/2023 09:23

I dislocated my knee while at work on Wednesday, was given splint and crutches. Still can't walk without crutches, so I'm unable to get up and down the stairs with my baby, I can't even pick him up, I can't push the pram to take him to nursery. My 3 year old I can just about look after him, he's been really good. Their dad luckily had a holiday booked from the Thursday-Sunday the week it happened so he's not needed to take any time off work so to speak. He's been great. He said to his boss that he'd need to take a few days off to look after his children, his boss has basically said no and that it's my problem and responsibility. Basically implying if he doesn't go in tomorrow he won't have a job. I don't know what I'm going to do

OP posts:
LIZS · 23/04/2023 09:27

Can he not get them to nursery and work between drop off/pick up? He is not entitled to time off at such little notice and could have used the days last week to put arrangements in place. Do you have any family or friends who can help?

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 23/04/2023 09:29

Can he take them to nursery for you before work? Unfortunately his boss is correct he can't just take time off like that unless he was sick.

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 09:29

What you’re going to do is ask your partner to man up and be clear with his employer re he needs the time off

or

You pay for childcare

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 09:29

Well, you both pay obviously!

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 23/04/2023 09:30

That or tape your knee up it'll help.
I dislocate regularly, I'd get downstairs and the kids downstairs before he goes.

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 09:30

As a single parent I don’t know what I would have done in your shoes if I had no support nearby.
probably just hobbled along and tried to make the best of it. Tricky though

lidlbrownjug · 23/04/2023 09:31

Can he not take emergency dependents leave?

If all else fails, can you move all you need for the baby downstairs?

Mumof1andacat · 23/04/2023 09:33

Does the 3 yr old go to nursery or the baby?

Littlegoth · 23/04/2023 09:33

@LIZS @MeMyCatsAndMyBooks

You are mistaken. All employees have the right to take emergency leave for dependants.

@lucie333 I am assuming their dad is an employee so is entitled to this time off. He needs to go back to his employer.

https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Time off for dependants - Acas

Advice on an employee's right to take time off to help someone who depends on them.

https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/04/2023 09:33

LIZS · 23/04/2023 09:27

Can he not get them to nursery and work between drop off/pick up? He is not entitled to time off at such little notice and could have used the days last week to put arrangements in place. Do you have any family or friends who can help?

Should have made it clear that he did message his boss when it had happened and said he would let him know how things go over his days off and let him know if he needed more time off

OP posts:
moonspiral · 23/04/2023 09:35

Littlegoth · 23/04/2023 09:33

@LIZS @MeMyCatsAndMyBooks

You are mistaken. All employees have the right to take emergency leave for dependants.

@lucie333 I am assuming their dad is an employee so is entitled to this time off. He needs to go back to his employer.

https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-dependants

It's not an emergancy though he knew about it in advance

Lkgcsr · 23/04/2023 09:35

What’s his work policy on dependents leave? He can’t just say that

NerrSnerr · 23/04/2023 09:35

In my workplace we might get emergency dependents leave for one day but be expected to figure out ongoing care then. I think that during his time off you both should have been looking into getting support in place.

moonspiral · 23/04/2023 09:36

NerrSnerr · 23/04/2023 09:35

In my workplace we might get emergency dependents leave for one day but be expected to figure out ongoing care then. I think that during his time off you both should have been looking into getting support in place.

Yes that's what I'd be expected to do

TidyDancer · 23/04/2023 09:45

What exactly did your DH's manager say? I doubt it was quite that dramatic so maybe some wiggle room? I can understand them not being happy about your DH's vague 'a few days' comment but if they've really implied he would lose his job over this then obviously that's not right.

I think the best thing to do here would be to get everything you need for the DCs on the ground floor and do the best you can. Did you have additional injuries? You mentioned about not being able to pick your baby up. If so then it's more understandable that you would want DH at home. Otherwise I think you should be okay to cope, although it probably won't be much fun!

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/04/2023 10:02

TidyDancer · 23/04/2023 09:45

What exactly did your DH's manager say? I doubt it was quite that dramatic so maybe some wiggle room? I can understand them not being happy about your DH's vague 'a few days' comment but if they've really implied he would lose his job over this then obviously that's not right.

I think the best thing to do here would be to get everything you need for the DCs on the ground floor and do the best you can. Did you have additional injuries? You mentioned about not being able to pick your baby up. If so then it's more understandable that you would want DH at home. Otherwise I think you should be okay to cope, although it probably won't be much fun!

It really was as dramatic as that! He isn't the nicest of bosses his words " listen mate this really isn't my problem, I can't have 3 of my men out of work because your 'bird' has hurt her leg, your the bread maker, you need to tell her she's just got to get on with it, you will need to sort something else out or this isn't going to work!"

OP posts:
Original poster
lucie333 · 23/04/2023 10:03

NerrSnerr · 23/04/2023 09:35

In my workplace we might get emergency dependents leave for one day but be expected to figure out ongoing care then. I think that during his time off you both should have been looking into getting support in place.

Obviously this was a last resort! Not everyone has a big support network, our parents still work Monday- Friday so are only available to help on weekends

OP posts:
Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:07

Ok so

3 year old at nursery?
baby stuff all downstairs
any friends at all?
any spare money for practical help?

will be difficult but you’ll do it.

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:08

The pp later saying “get support in place” didn’t refer to family.

loads of us don’t have our family nearby.

this is the time for friends or for you to pay for help or to suck it up and make the best of it

LIZS · 23/04/2023 10:18

Littlegoth · 23/04/2023 09:33

@LIZS @MeMyCatsAndMyBooks

You are mistaken. All employees have the right to take emergency leave for dependants.

@lucie333 I am assuming their dad is an employee so is entitled to this time off. He needs to go back to his employer.

https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-dependants

If it had been last Thursday and he had no al booked then yes he can take leave to make arrangements, but as it happens he has already had a few days to do so.

treespouse · 23/04/2023 10:20

Is it more than a dislocated knee if you can't pick your baby up?

Shinyandnew1 · 23/04/2023 10:25

I’ve never dislocated anything before-is the knee now back in place? How long might it be before you are mobile again. I would move everything downstairs I might need, borrow a playpen for the baby so they can go in there if you need to hobble to the toilet, and not send the 3 year old to nursery for a bit. Will it be a week though or 6 months?!

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 23/04/2023 10:27

DH needs to take 3yr old to nursery in the mornings and pick them up.

He also needs to help prep meals for you and if your bottle feeding, prepare bottles for the day.

Bouncer/high chair ect all within arms reach of a place where you can sit comfortably and easily reach/lift baby.

You need to be up and ready before he goes in the morning, shower in the evenings if needed for a short while.

It can be done, it just won't be fun

Forestdweller11 · 23/04/2023 10:42

Does the three year old need to go to nursery? Think I'd set up camp wherever was closest to the loo. Get DH to do breakfast and packed lunch. Switch the TV on and then not move until DH came home. Toddler will have square eyes and be stir crazy . DH can sort out tea and distract the toddler. DH comes home promptly and doesn't go to the gym, play darts or have a round if golf for the few days you are totally incapacitated.

Clementineorsatsuma · 23/04/2023 10:49

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 23/04/2023 09:29

Can he take them to nursery for you before work? Unfortunately his boss is correct he can't just take time off like that unless he was sick.

"For you"?!
Are they not his children then?

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