100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

I’m not surprised by the negative, sarcastic responses to your post…it’s the reason I refrain from posting about finances here…got accused of “stealth boasting” once (wasn’t my intention)…but I completely understand where you’re coming from. My husband earns slightly more than you do, (one of you not both) but we don’t see much of it at the end of the month. We do have a decent sized home, nice car etc. but apart from the occasional holidaying, the money seems to go so fast and we also often wonder if it’s worth all the stress that his job entails. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to throw in the towel one of these days and we downsize homes etc. to make it work with less income, but lead a more relaxed lifestyle instead.

Move ..

Enjoy seeing your children grow and having a stress free life .

Many of my freinds are on under 50/60k combined pre tax .
They own 3 bedroom homes .
Although without the curb appeal
If they can do this on there income then I wouldn't see you having a issue getting a 4/5 bedroom
Even if your combined income reduced down to 150k for instance .

Life is short .
Your children won't be young for ever .
Any house can be a home ..
I'm sure your children would rather have a loving family upbringing with there parents around more .
Than a few extra square feet in there bedroom

You are clearly well educated intelligent couple ..
But do the sums and see what u can live off happily .
Go to a morgage broker see what they can offer you with lower salary's and the equity in your home as the deposit .

Personally I live of a fraction of your income between myself and my partner .
We are quite happy ..
Pretty stress free life now
Both work part time in mind numbing jobs.
I used to be more ambitious
but as long as the bills are covered a few hoildays (UK)
Then that's all I need it's not worth the stress that it brings personally .

I see my children from a previous relationship regularly .
And myself and my partner are having our second child .
I spend a lot of time as a family unit .
We also have time for our self's with our independent social activities .
Which brings stress down .
Both drive and have cars.

Have a home we love what more can you want

I know sounds like a lot but life in London is v v expensive ! I am a Single mum earning approx £115 k ! But I feel constantly stressed about money . Feel constantly stressed and multitasking and any extra work I do because I need the money !( anything I do even going to work out of hours involves huge childcare costs )! goes to taxes ! You pay 70 percent tax between 100-125 k … which is unfair ! They don’t take into account your circumstances! And you loose any allowances.
I do understand your dilemma… life is expensive.. I know a friend of mine fellow doctor living in a tiny flat in West Hampstead moved to an amazing place by the sea in Devon and hasn’t looked back ! I think it depends on your set up though .. I have loved in London my whole life , don’t have any links to anywhere else so I think as a single mum would feel quite isolated living out…

Get yourselves to Dubai! It’s tax free

The thing is luxuries you might expect on such salaries can be far out of reach. For example luxury hotels easily costing over £1k per night, nice armchairs costing £5k, house improvement costing hundreds of thousands for something simple.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.

You could sell up and move outside of London e.g. to somewhere like Wales and buy a nice big house. With the savings on a cheaper place you could maybe afford to buy or rent a flat on one of you do hybrid working. You could access London from the Elizabeth line and live in Berks mid week, might only require on of you to work still bringing in a high salary. Could ask for Monday and Friday to be days working from home.

I think that there was an implication that a lower paying job will come with less hours and less stress, whereas in reality, this is often not the case. So those of us who are truly in the 'middle ground' which I'd put at between 40-60k per year, with considerable workplace stress and long hours might be inclined to say yabu, or at least, naive/out of touch.

Op probably long gone and no wonder. I don’t think your post came across as entitled.

I think in general a lot of people across the earnings spectrum are tightening their belts, are feeling a from a ‘pinch’ to a ‘catastrophe’ relative to their income.

earning £150k doesn’t mean your bringing home anywhere near that net. Living in the south/south east is phenomenally expensive.

yes you probably aren’t fire fighting or rolling from one crisis to the next, one pay check away from losing the house etc… but it’s fair to have stresses and anxiety about finance.

I say as someone bringing in about £800 a month self employed

is the £150k worth the stress? only you can decide. is it worth getting a sit down with a financial adviser between you and your husband and see whether there’s suggestions to help in the short medium and long term so if you or you both wanted to be able to take a drop in income you’re still ok?

dependant on your roles does work have an EAP scheme that covers some advice?

being tax efficient I think is very different to tax avoidance and certainly tax evasion perhaps there’s points there a professional advisor might be able to assist you to navigate and figure out what will work best for your family.

Totally agree. Wager that this is another divisive, lazy journo post, or fake account posting for web traffic.
Completely unbelievable posts pop up on here every few days.

I would look at moving to somewhere cheaper and rethinking your career approach. There is no point earning that amount if you aren’t getting to do what really makes you happy. Even taking a cut in pay, you could both have a great life in a cheaper postcode.

My question would be why do you need a 1.5 million pound house. You can buy a lovely home in London for 800k. You don’t have to live in a really really expensive area. Childcare doesn’t need to cost 2k per month either. You have clearly got so used to your income you aren’t seeing the woods for the trees.

I totally get this op. Started off in investment banking in London. Lasted a couple of yrs. it was dreadful. I earned about 80k a yr in those yrs, but it went so fast. 100 hr weeks were fairly standard. I was exhausted and depressed.

Said ‘f this’ and retrained as a teacher. Moved to Bristol. Think my first yrs pay was about 23k. Husband similar (went from banking in London to 30k in Bristol). Life was SO much better. Could afford to rent a three bed terrace house w garden. Had babies. Actually got to see them. Honestly…. The life you need to lead to earn 300k in London - no thanks. And you don’t even get the lifestyle perks. The kind of shit you have to put up with, you’d expect a mansion in Surrey. In fact, most bankers are living in 3 bed semis and commuting for hours on top of their hideous long hours at work.

I say ‘leave the city’. Best decision I ever made.

Middle ground? FFS! My husband is a nurse and had to work 60 hours a week last year to just tip over 50 grand. You are so way above the middle! Absolutely clueless 🙄

Quality of life is extremely important and if you feel it is lacking you really need to evaluate your life choices. Life is too short.
Myself and husband both on combined annual wage of £69000. We have 2 children in part time childcare and we can still enjoy luxuries such as a holiday once a year and can take kids on day trips and enjoy meals out etc. We are comfortable.
Maybe you need to look at your daily spending and bills as that’s a lot of annual income to which you feel you aren’t able to enjoy things like a holiday etc.
I hope you can get the answers you need to help guide you.

Having gratitude for what you have is key, if you don’t appreciate the good and the things you do have right now you will never be happy, even if you managed to get your ‘dream home’
A perspective shift might help you.
As the saying goes- ‘wherever you go, there you are’

I don’t earn anything like what you do but I hear you house prices r mad Childcare is mad and don’t get me started on the price of food and electric. Of course you should be able to afford a nice house holidays etc on those sorts of wages prices r gone made I actually don’t no how any one buys house these days

Those kinds of jobs are VERY demanding and living in London is expensive. 20 years ago, you’d have had less stressful lives and cheaper housing. Compared to that you are hard done by.

But you are in the 1% and it’s unrealistic to expect sympathy when so many struggle to make ends meet….

I've absolutely no idea what you're spending your salaries on, you earn far more than we did (no longer working) but we were very happy with our lifestyle: really nice west London house, living well, decent cars. You're obviously spending more than necessary on some things.
My DD is a single parent of two, earns a quarter of what you do, pays nursery fees and holiday clubs. And she's happy with her life.

My partner and I both work long hours, high levels of responsibility as Probation Officers managing offenders in the community and in prison but together we earn half of one of your salaries and we don't get any government help either. But we still have a half decent quality of life, with children, in a terrace. You're losing your money somewhere! Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves!

We are not eligible for anything.
We earn approx £40K
Small, shabby house. 3 beds (one is practically a cupboard - room for a single bed only), end of terrace.
Good, but not flash, car (finance)
I work approx 55 hours per week, but I'm paid for 37.5
Fine to sack it off and go to the country if you want to, although properties in the country can be v.expensive.
A bit sad that you cannot count your blessings - I do on far less than you - as I realise there are people much, much worse off than me

You say you’re not entitled to any allowances - erm, I should fucking hope not. Please, get a grip. There must be other stuff wrong for you to not realise your lush position. There is such a thing as enough.

@Goingtogetslated Hmmm....I guess you both need to look at few things...

1. do you guys really love your jobs? If so, then stick at them. The £2K nursery fees are only there for a finite amount of time. Then you'll have a bit less to pay out for childcare, and a bit more to throw into savings or mortgage. I feel your pain on the childcare costs, as I have 2DC myself, but DC won't stay little for long.
2. are you able to work around each other's hours/days? Or condense FT in 4 days a week, so kids are in nursery/childcare just 3 days a week, and you both have a (different) day off? I don't know what jobs you have, therefore this might not be possible. That would decrease the childcare bill, and you'd both have an extra day off (assuming you both work FT over 5 days currently).
3. are you able to WFH, just to reduce commuting costs? Again, I don't know how your work's set up to deal with that.
4. what is really really important to you both?

Not a bad plan to look at commuter belt properties instead. I reckon that if your jobs are stable, and you enjoy them, then stick with them.

Reading this post makes me feel so much better about things (sorry, I don't meant to offend you OP). For years, I've beaten myself up for not being able to afford to buy my own place (well, not in the area where my kids are at school, I'm at work and my family - what's left of them - are). You guys are on 10 times what I'm on, and even then are finding things hard. So I guess it is all relative really. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Well, look at something more like this, then - https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/131075810#/?channel=RES_BUY

First of all well done for securing solid incomes. Secondly it’s a valid question. Thirdly. I would have better questions if I found myself in your position but I know you omworked hard to get here and wondering if it’s all worth it; we’ll that happens at half the wave too!! Thanks for being open. The world needs more people like you!

I think I do understand what you mean. We're talking about work/life balance here. You've got a vision of what the lifestyle is that you value enough to make the sacrifices that come with the job you now do. But you've found out that actually that the accouterments of that lifestyle cost more than you thought, and that perhaps that "balance" doesn't sit where you thought it did.

Yes, you could get all those things that you want, you could afford that 1.5 million house, with the cars, holidays, servants, whatever, but you have to work harder, carry more stress, see your kids less...
Yes, you could live a more stress-free life, have more quality time with your kids, have hobbies, but you'd have to do that in a smaller house, with older cars or whatever.

You've got to figure out what matters to you. I get the feeling from your message that what you've found is actually you can't buy happiness, you resent the sacrifices more than you value the benefits.

Personally I work in a highly paid industry and one in which they love us to set goals and to go for promotion and have 5 year plans etc - so I get forced to think about this stuff! I've decided that theoretically I could aim to push onto a role with massive pay, but I've put a definite ceiling on my ambitions because it simply isn't worth it to me. I see the hours the most senior people do, the shit they have to deal with - and, sure, they get pretty magnificent pay packages for their trouble, but the money wouldn't make me happier than the freedom of NOT doing that job.