100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

@Lostinalibrary

From you?

I doubt it.

And my point is that they should have a much better lifestyle than that on almost five times my household income, even accounting for the kids. Where is the money going?

Nobody needs to live in Stoke Newington. They could live a bit further out or in a less trendy area for far less than 1.25 million, and then they could dine out, buy nice clothes and go on long haul holidays.

I wonder why you think people on much lower salaries aren't also stressed and working long hours? OP has many options not available to a nurse on 28K.

She’s living in London and looking at the commuter belt. But she can get a ‘decent’ house in a nice area of London for that price. The commuter belt is not significantly different price-wise.

Im sure she could find a nicer property than that boxy one but she’d still have commuting and wraparound care costs.

Zone 4 is significantly cheaper than 1 and 2 (other than Richmond). But even a nice house in New Malden (zone 4) is 1.3-5.

She isn’t, not on £150k. Unless she has an absolutely massive private practice, which most consultants do not.

NHS consultants earn £80-110k. Good salary, good quality of life even in London, but not £150k.

Are you ok? Is it high earners today - not teachers?

It's just common sense that very few people can live in massive mansions in London as very few exist and demand is high. Living in central London means accepting the benefits and drawbacks. You benefit from culture, transport, convenient, community, but lose out on house size and land.
It doesn't mean you can't have a good lifestyle just because you don't live in a massive house. Most of my previous London friends lived in flats with kids, had fabulous lives zipping round London at weekends and to London parks, going on holidays. It's staggeringly unimaginative to think that 300k can't buy a very nice life.

You need to work out whilst you're earning so much but don't have brought. Check your bank account for any direct debits you don't recognise, do you eat out regularly, or have expensive holidays or hobbies?

Nex month make a note of everything you buy even if it's a 70p chocolate bar. Then at the end of the month see where your money goes. Work out how you can get a decent deposit on the houses you like or perhaps look at cheaper houses

Housing is where most people’s salaries go in London.

I used Stokie as an example as OP is in E.London. It costs what it does because it’s zone 2 - that’s the point. It’s not a particularly nice area. You’d expect on those kinds of salaries to able to live in zone 2 - but this is the thing - only the super rich can afford to live in the really nice areas of London now.

I wonder why you think I don’t know people on lower salaries aren’t stressed - wtaf? I’m on around 20k PT and I’m very stressed and work long hours.

But I know the kind of jobs that go with OP’s salary and you have to give your soul to the firm - they take over your life. I wouldn’t want that kind of work.

I’m on around 20k PT and I’m very stressed and work long hours.

*As I am also studying and carer for 2 elderly parents one with dementia.

@Lostinalibrary

Yes, I'm great thanks.

I have a wide range of opinions on a wide range of subjects.

I wasn't aware there was a tally being kept. Do you have a special journal for it?

ODFOD

Absolutely this.

Mumsnet harshly judges high earning women,men on same wage aren’t held to this level scrutiny or derision
any time a high earning woman comments about expenditure, the same tired tropes are trotted out
Oh! Get you. Other people manage on tuppence a month and lick twigs for sustenance…and they’re happier than you
Accused of profligacy
Ridiculous suggestions of relocation. Hull,anyone? Yes Hull that corporate & financial hotspot that’s comparable to London
Suggestions of buying boxy houses in zone 29 that are miles from train

Many on mn report they have. a high earning partner. i simply have never seen the same level of derision directed at a 6 figure earning man

where I live £1.5 million will not purchase anything phew wow. Nice,yes. Phew wow, no

NHS consultants earn £80-110k. Good salary, good quality of life even in London, but not £150k.

80-110k is the base pay. They get extra for on call allowance, unsocial hours etc. At least the ones I know do.

I’m not sympathetic really either. Just saying people get locked in - at one point the costs WERE optional, but then they are locked in to massive mortgage fixed for three years. Kids in schools are don’t want to remove them and disrupt friends and education when probably no places for moving back into a good state. Etc etc

@Zone2NorthLondon

It has nothing to do with the sex of the higher earner and everything to do with their attitude towards the earnings

Sure, but there are still options, aren't there? I chose to buy in Zone 2 and settle for a one-bed flat rather than buy further out and have an extra bedroom. I'd love the space, but for me the sacrifice wouldn't be worth it. I love being able to get a bus home at night rather than have to walk from the station, and I can get right into central in 15 minutes. I go to central a lot, so proximity is really important to me. I wouldn't want to trade space for convenience.

The point is that OP's household salary buys options. She can choose to live in Stoke Newington and have a ridiculous £6K a month mortgage for her fancy Victorian terrace or she can choose to move somewhere like Finchley and have the same size house for much less money, or to settle for a three-bed garden flat in Stokey. Either option would free up around £2K a month of disposable income, which would be an enormous lifestyle upgrade. Think how many holidays that would buy, how many dinners out.

I'm not sure how OP figures that she'd be worse off with fewer options in life.

Oh my heart just bleeds for anyone who thinks a house worth 1.5 mil is a necessity , and considers themselves the squeezed middle. I don’t know whether to laugh or be full of rage at your unabashed lack of awareness about your privilege.

Blimey, our joint household income is £70k, I thought WE were the squeezed middle as not entitled to anything other than child benefit. I think we have a nice lifestyle (very flexible jobs, 4 bed semi in a lovely village with excellent school, we usually have 2 foreign holidays, 1 winter + 1 summer) but just realising we must actually be really poor. Id rather be this kind of poor though than rich and stresssed.

OP doesn’t earn enough to live in London. I just suggested Hull as it offers all the glitz and glamour of London for a fraction of the price! It’s okay if nobody likes my idea though :(

Tabby OP isn’t even a surgeon! We were derailed!

They are. However, I’ve also seen women whose husbands have done well. It maybe that the mum stayed home for a while with the children or they took a lower paid profession. Then they’re thick for putting themselves in a vulnerable position. Mumsnet is a pit at times. People actively spend all day (during the working week I noticed too) to troll people and pull them down. There is a real animosity towards any family that start hitting the child benefit withdrawal - even more so when it hits personal tax allowance withdrawal. It is pure spite and envy and nothing else better to do. The same people who are ironically probably heavily funding those life choices.

That makes a lot more sense

Where in South London, and for how much?

You'd be struggling on that in London as a family. It's just a fact that you need much more money in London to have the same kind of lifestyle you have (either that or be fortunate enough to be in social housing). But even then, £300K should be more than enough. OP is massively overstretching on housing because she won't compromise on either size or area, and then complaining she has no money left.

In almost every other major city in the world, people accept that city living comes with the sacrifice that you can't expect the same kind of living space you'd have elsewhere. Even multi millionaires in NYC live in apartments, not houses, and hardly anyone has a garden. For some reason, lots of people here seem to feel entitled to live in a massive house with a garden in Zone 1 or 2 and feel terribly hard done by if they can't.