Page 27 | 100k+ salary, is it worth it?

HBGKC · 23/04/2023 12:10

Pootlie · 23/04/2023 12:06

Hey OP. I'm in a similar position to you although earn less. I think something is going wrong here. We have a 4 bed in east London too but still going on lots of holidays. Do you need a car? Zip car is available and excellent public transport. Childcare costs won't be forever. Are you managing your money well?

The reason we earn less is because we have deliberately chosen roles that are not high stress. I earn just under 6 figures and can do my job in my sleep. If I stepped up for a more challenging role I'd be working much harder and longer hours.

I do 4 days a week - is that an option for you?

Sounds as though you want to leave London which is fine but of course as you know commuting time and cost will shoot up so less time with kids and more spent on travel and childcare....

You have choices which is a wonderful and lucky place to be

"I earn just under 6 figures and can do my job in my sleep."

Please tell me what this job is!

Grumpafrump · 23/04/2023 12:11

I get it, OP. DH brings in about that amount and we do not have a flashy lifestyle. Our main luxuries are big pension contributions and travel (which I recognize are indeed luxuries, lest anyone accuse me of not being grateful), but otherwise our standard of living is not dissimilar to someone earning nearer to 60k/year in my very un-glamorous hometown. Our kids are in state school, I do our big shop at Lidl, and we have just one family car. DH cycles to work. We have savings and don’t worry about money (which again I recognize is a huge luxury in itself), but we are not living the mythical high life of the 1%. We are okay with that fact—we mainly just consider ourselves lucky when so many are struggling right now—but it does beg the question of whether the ‘golden handcuffs’ are worth it. We sometimes fantasize about selling up and getting off the wheel in favour of a simpler life. I expect though that the grass is always greener on the other side.

It’s easy to judge and scoff if you haven’t ever managed that type of budget before—I know I was pretty judgmental before we were in this position ourselves—but it’s hard to appreciate how easily and quickly lifestyle creep happens if you’ve not been in that position. You also are expected to fund more things because you are seen as being able to do so (for example supporting/housing elderly parents or helping out siblings who are struggling financially). There are more tugs on your wallet when people suspect you are doing okay. Nothing amiss about that at all—it is good to be generous when you have the capacity to do so—but my point is that it’s not all throwing money away on bloated budget lines.

I also bet that most of the people here, if they were earning 12k/month after tax, would feel they ‘should’ be able to afford luxuries like a nice size family house near work.

JupiterFortified · 23/04/2023 12:13

Goingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 01:40

@friendlycat i want th attractive 4/5 bed house in a nice town where my kids can run around safe….pub, shops, train station commute ….sounds cliche? Probably is.
I absolutely have no desire to stay where we are.
Houses I see that i can visualise myself in are 1.3-1.5 million.
alternatively we take out equity and run, get a nice 5 bed for 750? But low job prospects

“Houses that I can visualise myself in are 1.3-1.5 million”.

Well I can visualise myself living on a super yacht but seems unlikely.

OP you are being utterly ridiculous. A combined salary of £300k will buy you a LOT in most places outside of London (excluding certain parts of the Home Counties).

I’m a high earner and I’m shocked by your level of entitlement to be honest.

justlurkinghere · 23/04/2023 12:13

ReplGirl · 23/04/2023 12:07

I think @ilikepinknblue is just pointing out that the thread has degenerated into a pile-on, although I see the knowledgeable posters are starting to show up.

Which is ironic because the pile-on posters and the OP have the same mindset - '300K is a fortune, so I should be able to afford the moon, right? RIGHT??'

In London you're competing with people who can drop £100 on cocktails in an hour without batting an eyelid. Until you've lived among people like this it doesn't really hit home.

Those of us with experience telling her that it's not worth it (or otherwise) are actually helping the OP. Me, I want the decent sized house and chill life, so I moved. My compatriots (without significant family help) are happy to live in flats or small houses. Fair does. We've picked our tradeoffs.

Unlike people going 'omfg you greedy pig ur rolling in it NHS and benefits people starving blah2 can only dream'. Posters for whom this is the only contribution should stay off the thread if they have nothing constructive to say.

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I think that's a good part of your post to emphasise. "We've picked our trade offs." That's what we all have to do. That's what OP will have to do.

WomblingTree86 · 23/04/2023 12:14

Tabby87 · 23/04/2023 10:55

It matters that they're female since you'll notice a tendency to bragging about 'DH / DP earns X' but shitting on women who earn similar.

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Rubbish. If OP was a SAHM complaining about her lifestyle even though her DH was on 300K, the responses would have been extreme negative.

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/04/2023 12:17

Ok,yes £150k is big salary,however in London many folk exceed that,probably her comparable colleagues exceed that. That’s the work world op is in, and I’m aware it’s unfathomable to many on mn. Her costs,her lifestyle is linked to the job she has,availability,reputation,long hours. Burbling on about moving to Oxford, relocating to the midlands none of these things actually address what the op is talking about, she need to be in or v close London for the salary, the accessibility.

snippy posts about people eking out a living or berating op are pointless

Her wage is good, but not that stellar in London . She’ll see or know others who out earn her

JupiterFortified · 23/04/2023 12:17

Grumpafrump · 23/04/2023 12:11

I get it, OP. DH brings in about that amount and we do not have a flashy lifestyle. Our main luxuries are big pension contributions and travel (which I recognize are indeed luxuries, lest anyone accuse me of not being grateful), but otherwise our standard of living is not dissimilar to someone earning nearer to 60k/year in my very un-glamorous hometown. Our kids are in state school, I do our big shop at Lidl, and we have just one family car. DH cycles to work. We have savings and don’t worry about money (which again I recognize is a huge luxury in itself), but we are not living the mythical high life of the 1%. We are okay with that fact—we mainly just consider ourselves lucky when so many are struggling right now—but it does beg the question of whether the ‘golden handcuffs’ are worth it. We sometimes fantasize about selling up and getting off the wheel in favour of a simpler life. I expect though that the grass is always greener on the other side.

It’s easy to judge and scoff if you haven’t ever managed that type of budget before—I know I was pretty judgmental before we were in this position ourselves—but it’s hard to appreciate how easily and quickly lifestyle creep happens if you’ve not been in that position. You also are expected to fund more things because you are seen as being able to do so (for example supporting/housing elderly parents or helping out siblings who are struggling financially). There are more tugs on your wallet when people suspect you are doing okay. Nothing amiss about that at all—it is good to be generous when you have the capacity to do so—but my point is that it’s not all throwing money away on bloated budget lines.

I also bet that most of the people here, if they were earning 12k/month after tax, would feel they ‘should’ be able to afford luxuries like a nice size family house near work.

But you’ve said right there that your luxuries are big pension contributions and travel?

So you’re choosing to spend your money there instead of on e.g a massive house and new cars. It doesn’t mean you can afford them, it just means you’re choosing to prioritise in different areas.

This thread is insane: OP CAN buy a beautiful big house if she wants to, she’s just choosing not to.

ReplGirl · 23/04/2023 12:17

Grumpafrump · 23/04/2023 12:11

I get it, OP. DH brings in about that amount and we do not have a flashy lifestyle. Our main luxuries are big pension contributions and travel (which I recognize are indeed luxuries, lest anyone accuse me of not being grateful), but otherwise our standard of living is not dissimilar to someone earning nearer to 60k/year in my very un-glamorous hometown. Our kids are in state school, I do our big shop at Lidl, and we have just one family car. DH cycles to work. We have savings and don’t worry about money (which again I recognize is a huge luxury in itself), but we are not living the mythical high life of the 1%. We are okay with that fact—we mainly just consider ourselves lucky when so many are struggling right now—but it does beg the question of whether the ‘golden handcuffs’ are worth it. We sometimes fantasize about selling up and getting off the wheel in favour of a simpler life. I expect though that the grass is always greener on the other side.

It’s easy to judge and scoff if you haven’t ever managed that type of budget before—I know I was pretty judgmental before we were in this position ourselves—but it’s hard to appreciate how easily and quickly lifestyle creep happens if you’ve not been in that position. You also are expected to fund more things because you are seen as being able to do so (for example supporting/housing elderly parents or helping out siblings who are struggling financially). There are more tugs on your wallet when people suspect you are doing okay. Nothing amiss about that at all—it is good to be generous when you have the capacity to do so—but my point is that it’s not all throwing money away on bloated budget lines.

I also bet that most of the people here, if they were earning 12k/month after tax, would feel they ‘should’ be able to afford luxuries like a nice size family house near work.

Yes this. Although I wouldn't class the 'expected to fund more things' as a legitimate expense... you can always say no. People with expectations are the worst and once it starts never stops.
Fair enough if you 'want' to help and feel it's your duty. But saying people suspect you're doing ok and 'tugs on your wallet' makes it sound like you're a soft touch for a lot of CF's.
I'd give my parents the world, but they'd never ask and never expect.
Not the rest of my family, or DP's who have made their own choices. They can live with it.

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 12:19

Alsogoingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 11:47

Well firstly my take home is literally nowhere near that. I take home almost 2k less after deductions (admittedly my pension is 13% but I’m in a pension scheme where we pay according to tier so my pension will be the same as someone contributing far less but on the same tier).
So circa 5.5k take home.
£1.5k mortgage
£1.5k childcare (I need long childcare hours, far longer than my friend who also gets contributions to her childcare)
£1k professional fees and loans (friends profession does not involve this)
£1k aprox commute (season ticket/tube and parking- friend works from home)
Plus- the things I pay for to allow me to do my long hours - ironing, cleaning, gardening - friend clocks off by 4 and has an hours lunch and freely admits she has time to do all of this. £500

Friend in addition gets additional income or her salary from child benefit and child maintenance.

I barely break even. But I’m ready for the argument that I need to cut my cloth. I don’t deserve my £350k 3 bedroom house and should cut my cloth and downsize.

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So does your friend have a 1.5k mortgage? That would be difficult on a 2.5 take home, child maintenance would indicate possibly a single parent? are you?

So you are saying it costs you 1.5 + 1 + 1 + 0.5 to work? which I make to be 4k, and 2k non negoiable?
What are the loans? would you have to keep paying if you changed jobs
how many DC do you have?

Obviously your pension will benefit you way more in the long run, and your child care bill will drop dramatically soon, and do you really need to pay £500 a month for cleaning/gardening/ironing?

(Sorry, I know this seems like a pile on, its not meant to be, I'm just struggling on how your friend on 35k is better off than you on 130k)

Tangfastic71 · 23/04/2023 12:19

I completely get where you’re coming from. It is worth it in the end but in my view the gains only come if you live in the commuter belt. Twyford is lovely and the surrounding villages…and an easy commute with the Elizabeth line. Focus on your pension contributions so you can retire early (FIRE movement on Reddit far more helpful for your type of question). Completely understand why people get upset about this type of post, but high earners need advice too! It comes with a totally separate set of challenges. Admittedly, struggling to pay bills and feeling life is one long meeting with no real weekend break and little to no joy are very different problems…but they are still both valid problems and both deserve advice.

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 12:24

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/04/2023 12:17

Ok,yes £150k is big salary,however in London many folk exceed that,probably her comparable colleagues exceed that. That’s the work world op is in, and I’m aware it’s unfathomable to many on mn. Her costs,her lifestyle is linked to the job she has,availability,reputation,long hours. Burbling on about moving to Oxford, relocating to the midlands none of these things actually address what the op is talking about, she need to be in or v close London for the salary, the accessibility.

snippy posts about people eking out a living or berating op are pointless

Her wage is good, but not that stellar in London . She’ll see or know others who out earn her

She can move a little out of London, there are loads of places close enough to commute, and that would halve the cost of living in the centre

anotherside · 23/04/2023 12:35

There are loads of options for around £1 million. If you’re seeing £1.5 million I can only assume you’re looking at very, very, nice 4/5 beds (kerb appeal as you say) or average ones but in the absolute most desirable areas.

And if you want that, then, yes I guess you’ll need to make sacrifices elsewhere. Or you could just tighten your belt a little and save, say, £500k and get a nice 4/5 bed house instead of a very, very nice house and then enjoy greater financial freedom. There’s no objectively “worth it” - only what’s worth it to you.

But I’d bare in mind that nobody is forcing you to drop £1.5 million on a house - that’s a heck of a lot of money even for the London commuter belt.

Nocutenamesleft · 23/04/2023 12:36

Goingtogetslated · 22/04/2023 23:51

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

Sorry. You’re take home pay is £15,000 a month roughly

and you want childcare? You realise your monthly take home is what some people earn in a year?

Mirabai · 23/04/2023 12:37

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 12:24

She can move a little out of London, there are loads of places close enough to commute, and that would halve the cost of living in the centre

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There’s nowhere in the SE that will halve the cost of London. Some London boroughs have the lowest council tax in the country and transport is much cheaper than a commute.

anotherside · 23/04/2023 12:39

Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility

For me personally it would depend how long, how unpredictable and how stressful. I don’t think it’s in most peoples interest to be “on the clock” more than 40 hours a week unless it’s a job that they really do love and enjoy doing (doesn’t sound like it here). As that work/life imbalance simply isn’t very healthy.

Nocutenamesleft · 23/04/2023 12:42

XelaM · 23/04/2023 00:39

I don't understand how you can't afford a nice house in London if you have both been earning a combined income of ca. £300K? That makes no sense. Were you renting all this time? Have you no equity in your current home?

I'm a single parent on just over £100K and I can afford ponies and private school (just about) and not have a crippling mortgage in London. I really don't understand how you can't manage on 300K.

How many children do you have? You might have 1 and the op might have 6? Hence why ponies and private schools are out of their reach….

Botw1 · 23/04/2023 12:42

I know its like 600 pages in but im completely baffled by the op and what they are trying to achieve from the thread?

They're annoyed their very high wage isn't high enough?

Not enough for the high end luxurious lifestyle they think they deserve?

Awww. Diddums

anotherside · 23/04/2023 12:43

”300K is a fortune, so I should be able to afford the moon, right? RIGHT??”

yep - in London /South East 300k is a very nice joint salary (not considering working hours, stress etc here) but a million miles from being a fortune. More of a freedom from stress salary in that part of the country though, rather than a freedom to go out and live the life of Riley.

Peppadog · 23/04/2023 12:53

It's a really shocking insight into the mentality of some priveleged people. It reminds me of a colleague of mine feeling aggrieved that her friend could afford a 3mil home when hers was only 1.5mil. some people will just never be happy, nothing is ever 'enough'. This mentality is rife in London where there is always someone just down the road with a better house, fancier lifestyle, better salary.

Grumpafrump · 23/04/2023 12:53

anotherside · 23/04/2023 12:43

”300K is a fortune, so I should be able to afford the moon, right? RIGHT??”

yep - in London /South East 300k is a very nice joint salary (not considering working hours, stress etc here) but a million miles from being a fortune. More of a freedom from stress salary in that part of the country though, rather than a freedom to go out and live the life of Riley.

This is an interesting way to look at it—a ‘free from stress’ salary vs a ‘life of Riley’ salary. It would be interesting to see what those salary points are in different parts of the country. There is probably data on that somewhere, right?

VestaTilley · 23/04/2023 12:56

Stick with it. Unless the stress is killing you of course, or you never see your kids. Life is only going to get harder - two big salaries are not to be sniffed at. Think of your pensions, and the help you’ll be able to give your DC when they’re older.

We’re like you; DH earns £140k+ so no help with childcare cost (bar 15 hours which didn’t take much of the edge off) and big mortgage on what is simply a 3 bed terrace. Drive an old used Vauxhall. No holiday in 5 years. I earn a far more “normal” part time salary. But I wouldn’t change it - I’m grateful for what we’ve got and know that when we stop paying for nursery it’ll give us more choices.

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/04/2023 12:59

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 12:24

She can move a little out of London, there are loads of places close enough to commute, and that would halve the cost of living in the centre

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nonsensical post. She could relocate elsewhere it it’s not London and what’s the point

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/04/2023 13:01

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 12:24

She can move a little out of London, there are loads of places close enough to commute, and that would halve the cost of living in the centre

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That’s simply not true. None of the home counties will maintain her lifestyle and half costs

Tealsofa · 23/04/2023 13:01

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/04/2023 12:59

nonsensical post. She could relocate elsewhere it it’s not London and what’s the point

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Says the user with the London user name - shock notice, there are some amazing places outside London, and even more amazing they're close enough to commute....

Tabby87 · 23/04/2023 13:04

DoAWheelie · 23/04/2023 11:43

£300k is more than I've lived on for my entire adult lifetime. I moved out at 17 and I'm now 33.

People need to learn to make a fucking budget and learn the difference between want and need.

We're not talking about you today.